


Trauma Hides Deeper Secrets

by Voidless_Sora



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma Uses Sing Language, Asano Gakushu Uses Sign Language, BAMF Akabane Karma, BAMF Shiota Nagisa, Bad Mother Shiota Hiromi, Bad Parenting, Child Abuse, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers (Kinda), Friends to Lovers, Gay Akabane Karma, Gay Panic, Gay Shiota Nagisa, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intelligent Shiota Nagisa, Irina Jelavitch Practically Adopts Shiota Nagisa, Karasuma Tadaomi Practically Adopts Shiota Nagisa, Korosensei practically adopts Shiota Nagisa, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Most Of The Class Dislikes Shiota Nagisa, Muteness, Nakamura Rio uses Sign Language, Ooc Akabane Karma, Ooc Shiota Nagisa, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Selective Muteness, Selectively Mute Shiota Nagisa, Self-Harm, Shiota Nagisa Has Good Friends, Shiota Nagisa Is Bad At Feelings, Shiota Nagisa Needs a Hug, Shiota Nagisa Worries Too Much, Shiota Nagisa uses Sign Language, Shiota NagisaIs A Walking Disaster, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 82,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23305771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidless_Sora/pseuds/Voidless_Sora
Summary: NAGISA has been through a lot with Hiromi and her mental instability, and last year he lost his only friend that he could ever fall back on. Losing that trust and having no one else who could help him with his situation, he closed himself off and finally took some of his "mothers" advice. He muted himself and promised himself to try and keep his mouth shut for as long as he was stuck in Hiromi's grasp.KARMA cut off his friendship with Nagisa to appease his instinctual need to get away from something as dangerous as Nagisa, or whatever was cultivating inside of him. Realizing too late after cutting off their friendship, Karma worried about Nagisa and his life at home. Trying to talk with Nagisa and get their friendship back backfired quickly and left him with more worries and fears as Nagisa left him with a written threat to keep quiet about his mother and not a single sound out of the already quiet blue haired boy.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Asano Gakushuu & Shiota Nagisa, Horibe Itona & Shiota Nagisa, Ritsu & Shiota Nagisa, Shiota Nagisa & Everyone (Practically), Shiota Nagisa & Terasaka Ryouma
Comments: 137
Kudos: 553





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, although I may be new to Archive Of Our Own and writing for strangers online, I do have a lot of experience with writing in general. I write often, though it doesn't mean I am good at it, and hope others will enjoy my stories as much as I enjoy making it. Comments with helpful feedback are very much appreciated so please don't be shy to tell me if something could be improved or changed.
> 
> Please enjoy, with much love - Sora

**Nagisa P.o.V**

Sitting underneath a tree, notebook and pencil in hand, I watched as all my classmates practiced the attack we just learned. Practicing with each other before being called to try to use the attack on Karasuma-sensei. I, unfortunately, can’t do that. I can learn the move and practice it alone, but that’s it. I’m too weak and brittle to be paired up with someone else, not to even mention being paired with Karasuma-sensei.

Sighing, I lean my head back and close my eyes, I don’t even need to try to remember it anymore, the attack has been drilled into my mind and my mind is teaching my muscles the move.

I have a headache. Rubbing my temples, I open my eyes reluctantly as I feel the wind whip around me, making a whooshing sound. Korosensei has arrived, and he stands right in front of me, in the way of the sun.

“Headache again?” he questioned, sitting down behind me and passing me something to help with my headache. I nodded to him in thanks and he nodded back. Looking at Karasuma-sensei’s battle, I watch and memorize his moves in retaliation to what we just learned, it will help me to watch those that are better with technique rather than pure strength. So, in that sense, I can’t memorize anything Terasaka does since he only uses strength but I can memorize Karasuma-sensei since he can’t use too much strength with young students and instead heavily relies on skill and technique.

I write down all the upgrades in peoples form, strength, technique and their own unique skills in my notebook, it helps me monitor their improvements so that, depending on what we are learning or what the training is, I know who is best to watch when and for what. It’s just to make sure I can milk every single thing out of what everyone can do so that I, myself, can do it as well and make it better. I feel Korosensei peek over my shoulder to read what I’m writing vehemently about.

"Huh" Korosensei hummed, shifting his attention to my hair instead, untying them and massaging my scalp.

For some reason, Korosensei likes to play in my hair but I’m not complaining, it feels nice. A great way to drown out the feeling of my hair getting pulled violently, some getting yanked out of their roots and some breaking at the point of the grip. If anything, Korosensei’s tentacles playing gently in my uneven-ish hair, sometimes practicing his braids or ponytails and other things, soothes my scalp, making the burning, itchy, faded pain go away. Karma did it too, although not as openly as Korosensei, he still does it as gently and it even made me shiver. Someone as violent and dangerous as Karma running his rough hands, the same ones he uses to hurt others, gently through my hair is unimaginable.

For all the time I had spent with Karma, from before being in 3-E, I have never seen him as gentle before he played in my hair. Protective, yes. Caring in his own way, probably. But gentle to this extent, never in a million years. It just goes to show you that you can’t judge a book by its cover, especially someone as unpredictable as Karma.

"Wanna help me hand out the papers before class starts?” Korosensei says quietly, focused on putting my hair back into its two ponytails again. Once he finishes with my hair I nod, we get up and walk around everyone before entering the building. The classroom was quiet, _‘I like it’_ I thought happily, loud noises always made me jump but when someone raises their voice, it makes me freeze like a deer in headlights. Korosensei gives me half the stack of handouts and proceeds to place them on the desks. I follow suit starting from the other side, we both finish our stacks and are standing in front of each other. Korosensei sighs then pats the desk next to him and I take a seat, worried that something is wrong.

“Nagisa,” Korosensei said with his voice thick in concern, “you can’t keep going like this, you need to tell someone, anyone, it doesn’t have to be me, I just want you to tell someone.”

I tilt my head in question, before sighing lightly and signing, I mouthed the words as well, ‘what do you mean?’

“Nagisa, don’t think any of the teachers miss any of your telltale signs, something is wrong and we, Karasuma, Irina and myself, want to know why. You have a voice but don’t use it and your body is oddly weak, almost as if it wasn’t getting the energy and nutrients from food needed to grow muscles and to help you have the energy to do anything.” Damn, direct hit. Korosensei knows exactly what he is doing when he said all of that, I know it. He is waiting for a sign of confirmation that Karasuma-sensei, Bitch-sensei, and his theory is correct. Unluckily for him, I have learned to school my expressions after my mother learned how to read my thoughts through how my face looked or the emotions in my eyes.

No matter how much of a bad mother she is, she has taught me things that even I never knew I learned or would ever come in handy. Well, that was until the assassination classroom was formed and now all I see it as are useful skills that can greatly enhance my already lacking performance. That’s actually how I know how to reign in my bloodlust, it is shown through body language, facial expressions and the look in your eyes, I stop all of that from showing and can even show a completely different emotion than what I am feeling.

I tilt my head in confusion and show that I don’t know what he means, Korosensei just stares at me for a bit then sighs and puts a tentacle on my shoulder.

“Just know that both Karasuma and I are here for you, even Irina, we want to help you and to help would be to understand and know what exactly it is you’re going through.” Just for added effect, I stare at him with confusion visible in my body language before slowly nodding my head, looking at him as if he just told me I was an alien from space when clearly, I’m not. He just nods his head back, getting up and walking to the front of the class with a quick ‘ take your seat’ and the bell rings. I rush to my seat and get my stuff out, watching carefully the expression on all my classmates’ faces.

I knew what they thought of me, that I was a teacher's pet, that I was getting undeserved attention or that I was just an attention seeker. Although not all my classmates thought that, some took the time to get to know me and understood that I was clearly none of those things and that, in reality, I was rather clever but obviously not school wise.

Sighing silently, I look to the front of the classroom to Korosensei as I await his instructions for today's class.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group hangout planned by Rio Nakamura  
> More insight on how the class is towards Nagisa  
> Rio's friendship with Nagisa is so innocent but Rio is still Rio  
> Hopefully, everything will go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's so short, it's annoyingly short, I wanted to stop it there so that that next chapter was better formated. !! Next chapter WILL be longer, hopefully, see you next time!!

Packing everything together ready to head home was something I always dreaded. It wasn't like I absolutely loved school, I just utterly despise going to my house. I don't even consider it my home anymore, ~~not like it ever was~~ , nothing about it feels 'homey' to me. It may be able to fool others but I'm the one behind the curtain, helping Hiromi, my "mother", pull the strings and fool everyone that enters through that dreaded door.

Speaking of the front door, I walk right up to it, wait for a second or two with my ear up against it, listening for Hiromi's footsteps or anything to indicate she is inside. After not getting a single sign of her inside, caution still strongly influencing my thoughts and actions, I enter and quickly look around, peeking around the house to see if she is here. With a heavy breath of relief, I take my shoes off and rush up to my room, pull my homework out of my bag and start it right away. I quietly thank Korosensei and Bitch-sensei for not giving me much homework.

I complete my homework with an hour to do as I wish before Hiromi's supposed to come from her day _full_ of work, as she so often uses to try and "guilt trip me" into being her "perfect little _girl_ ". Immediately I thought of texting Karma, he's a genius so he's probably finished his homework already. . . Does he even do his homework? Whatever. I think I'm gonna ask him if he wants to hang out. Giddily, I reach for my phone but stop myself at the sight of our text history before 3-E. We may have started talking to each other and "hanging out" at school but that could be because I'm the only one he knows and Korosensei is probably either forcing him to try and help nudge me outside of my social and personal walls and socialize more or to make Karma socialize and befriend someone who physically cannot fight with him and isn't a threat to him.

He left me after I was finally going to open up to him completely, he knew he was my _only_ friend that I relied on and fell back onto with my problems and my mother. He _promised_ he would always be there for me. _Promised!_ Why should I try and befriend him again if I know the only outcome of it will be heartache and bad blood with someone who could literally _kill me_ if he so wished to. I was so reliant on him that he seemed like the only person in my life that would stay, I really wanted to stay with him and continue being friends.

With a slow and shaky breath, I release my emotions with the repeated thought of _'I can't show my emotions, I can't show them, I can't show them I can't…'_ I drop my head rather fast to my desk, a large thunk emitting from the rough hit to my forehead. I sigh and raise my head, rubbing the sore spot before looking at my phone once more and saw that throughout my panic, I have received a message from Rio Nakamura. Picking my phone up and checking the text.

It says that she invited me to a group hang out with her friends from class, saying she was mindful of those that disliked me and that the hang out was for Friday, which is tomorrow, after school around 5. The group was to meet up at the new Cat Cafe, _Whiskers and Cream_ , and then go to see a new movie in the theater. She approximated that the hangout would end around 7 pm. The message ended with a bunch of weird emojis.

Well, it seems that my Friday is going to be full of social interactions and awkward stares as I don't answer questions or my laughter isn't heard. At least Rio is very considerate and will normally try and help me through these interactions and conversations, especially since she knows sign language.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute friendship between Kayano and Nagisa.
> 
> Rio is so considerate it's scary!
> 
> Who else will be joining the big boy table?

Waking up for the first time with some other feeling besides being tired and cautious of Hiromi. For the first time in a long time I felt something other than empty numbness while thinking of everything that could go wrong with the day, I felt excited! I was actually excited about the get-together today after school. Not only does it keep me away from my mother for a long time but, thanks to Rio, I was excited to hopefully make more friends in class. Maybe with more people to try and help me _not_ be hated by the majority of my classmates, or at least change their friends' perception of me. That’s all I can really hope for when I get new friends or at least a new acquaintance. 

When I finished brushing my hair and teeth I got out my secret stash of makeup, made out of a lot of beauty products to help cover the bruises and scars on my arms and legs for whenever we have P.E, also for when Hiromi wants to show me off to her friends. Putting some on my faded yellowish bruises that are scattered all along my arms, I always put them on my arms just in case, and I check around my waist, where the shirt can occasionally lift up and maybe accidentally show some cuts and bruises for the world to see and judge. I’ve always feared people seeing them and knowing just by the looks of them that I’ve become overly cautious and scared of what things could hypothetically happen that could make me reveal them on accident. So, for every worst-case scenario, I cover up the cuts and bruises, nothing bad in being extremely careful. 

Looking at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but see the enormous and almost deadly scar that is lined from side to side across the front of my neck, right under my almost invisible adam’s apple. Around the scar were burns, from something _very_ hot that scarred the skin around my already very noticeable scar. Hiromi, that day, was just extremely angry and wanted to really make me regret saying what I had said and to make sure I truly _feared_ her punishments. I covered that up expertly, you know how much research I had to put into covering up really bumpy burn scars. No matter how much makeup you piled on there, it won’t make the bumpiness any less visible, so I googled how to make it practically invisible. That and, just in case someone, for some reason, got really close and could see the bumps, I put a choker around my neck exactly where my scar is. I made sure to get a choker that was thick enough to cover not only the initial scar but also the burn scars around it.

Once I arrived at the cat cafe I was greeted with Rio and Kayano, two people who I genuinely like to be around and are my actual friends. Kayano started learning sign language to make communication better and easier for me and, eventually, her as well. Rio greets me easily in sign language and Kayano does it with stiff movements, glaring at Rio when she laughs at how robotic her movements were. With a small smile, I greet back once the two are done bickering, sitting down across the girls and picking up the cat-themed menu. 

“Oh, Nagisa, don’t worry about needing me to translate for you, I asked if they had a waitress who knew sign language and they did, so she will be able to communicate without my help. At least the waitress anyway.” Rio finished with an easy smile, I smiled back gratefully and looked at the oncoming waitress. She had a simple black shirt and a black skirt that reached just above her knees, a white frilly apron seemed stitched to the black attire and a cat tail stitched to the costume. She also wore cute cat ears that matched the color of her dirty blond hair.

“Hello and welcome customers, I would like to confirm that it is this table that needs someone who can use sign language?” The waitress, her nametag states that her name’s Kichi, says with a rather high pitched cutesy voice, signing along as she said that.

“Yeah, it’s for Nagisa.” Rio said, gesturing to me as I gave a nervous wave to the waitress.

“Oh, is it for mute or deaf?” Kichi said, looking back to Rio for the answer.

“He’s mute.” Rio said slowly, looking at me as if she was making sure what she said wasn’t invading anything personal for me. The waitress looked at me and nodded slightly before continuing with her work.

“Alright then, have you chosen what you are going to be having today?” She said and signed simultaneously, taking out a notepad and pen once she was done signing. We told her we only wanted drinks for now since more people were going to be joining us later on. Jotting our drinks down and that more will come to our table specifically, she told us she will be back once everyone was here, she scampered off behind the counter and through a door with **_staff only_** written in bold black lettering.

Now we just needed to wait for everyone else to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this will satisfy you (＾▽＾)  
> I'mma be very honest right now, I actually wrote WAY more than this but I did plan to have cut them in half for two separate chapters and, looking at the second bit of writing, it looks longer so ヽ(~～~ )ノ
> 
> Enjoy, with lots of love - Sora


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute kittens and social anxiety are a pretty good mix
> 
> Rio's got your back but will also put a 'Hug me' sign on it
> 
> And what is this? More plot? Whoa, we're finally watching a god damn movie!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I actually wanted and for many reasons! (not really, I'm just lazy)
> 
> First, I gave myself a word limit and that was hard to find since Ao3 has different formating
> 
> And second, We got baby chicks (two of them) and it took a while to get a good system going with them (I was just worrying a whole bunch for them and I couldn't sleep because of it.
> 
> Anyway, we have no clue what breed they are but with a lot of research I say they resemble Copper Silver Marans and we named them Yoko and Suki (Yoko looks like a penguin)

"Hey guys, sorry we’re a little late,” Sugino says, walking over to our table and sitting down. Isogai and Maehara came in with Sugino and, a minute or two later, Kanzaki and Okuda came in together. After they all sat down and chatted a bit with each other, I heard the most familiar voice coming from the entrance.

“Sorry, I got a little distracted with some delinquents on my way here,” Karma said, his voice telling us he was _not_ sorry at all.

Immediately after his entrance, stiffness seems to befall us and I am utterly confused as to why. Maybe his comment on fighting, I have gotten used to them so that could be it, maybe it's because he came at an awkward time? I give up, humans are truly weird creatures.

The chair next to me scraped on the ground and I jump out of my thoughts, quickly turn to see that Karma has taken a seat _right next to me_. I decide not to react, it could make him feel unwelcome if everyone starts acting scared around him and that just wouldn't feel fun for him, I would know. 

The conversations between everybody start up again and I watch carefully as wary looks are thrown at Karma. Does he realize how wary everyone is being, well, everyone but Rio, Kayano and a bit Sugino, he was only scared of Karma’s abrupt entrance but he doesn’t seem to mind him much.

Those three do hang around me and Karma so they probably got used to Karma and his… well… ‘Karma-ness’. 

That's not a thing. 

Taking a quick peek at Karma’s face to see if he knows how they are acting, I see that he was eyeing me, that awkward eye contact made me straighten up a bit and look down at my fidgeting fingers. I believe Rio has seen that awkward interaction because she started giggling a bit.

“Hey Nagisa, wanna go get the waitress so that we can order a quick snack to eat before going to the movies,” Rio says, a rather pleasant look of understanding in her eyes.

I thank every god out there for Rio, sometimes she can be really mischievous and pick on me but I know that’s it’s friendly banter. At least I hope it is, my lack of a social life has left me quite empty in knowledge about how friends act around each other or what things are acceptable or not. At least, Rio, Kayano, and Sugino are helping me learn, they are rather patient with me and I like that.

They’re nice, I hope I can be friends with them for a long time.

I nod and get up only for Karma to gently nudge my arm before I could walk away. I turn to him and he asks “Nagisa, mind if I come with you?”

Now I could leave him here in favor of not being alone with him and eliciting awkward tries at having normal conversations but he is most likely asking _because_ he knows of the wariness everyone, almost everyone, has of him.

In hopes of helping Karma, cuz no matter what I still see him as at the very least a not-quite-friend, a not-entirely-stranger, a more-than-acquaintance, and I don’t want to leave him with a group of people who will most likely not speak to him. So, as reluctantly as I could, I nod my head to the counter and tug at his long sleeve shirt. 

He nods his head and stands and waits for me to move, most likely hoping I could stay in front since I _actually_ know what the waitress, Kichi I remember uselessly, looks like.

“Thanks for getting me out of that, I have no clue why they acted so scared, do you?” Karma said nonchalantly, most likely knowing fully why they were so weird around him but I could guess he was asking me rhetorically.

Out of pure social fear of “speaking” when I wasn’t supposed to or not saying the right thing, I just answer with a simple shrug of the shoulders, barely looking at him. I reach the counter and wait behind someone already there, they seem to be asking for an order on the go. 

While we waited, two little kittens playfully ran up to us, one jumping and latching on to my pant leg with his little claws, they were quite painful and seemed to start and try to climb up my leg. The poor kitten didn’t seem to have the muscles to climb it so I just grabbed him carefully and cradled him in my arms, I kept calling it him but I don’t actually know what it’s gender is.

I look back at Karma to see him staring at the Kitten rather quizzically like he didn’t know the cat wanted. Although it was easy to see the kitty wanted to be pet. I giggle a bit, accidentally using my voice. Karma’s head snaps towards me and his eyes are wide, staring at me intently as he seems to forget about the kitten pawing at his leg in hopes of getting affection.

"N-Nagisa?” Karma stuttered, his eyes glittering with _something_ , I have no idea what but something. What I’m most shocked about is the fact that Karma, not just anybody but _The Akabane Karma_ stuttered! Now I’m staring at Karma with widened eyes, tilting my head in curiosity.

What broke our little stare off was the voice of the worker behind the counter, asking us _‘Sir, Miss, can I help you?’_

That, specifically the _‘Miss’_ part, made me whip around to look at the girl at the counter, my face heating up with a blush as I heard Karma start giggling behind me. I glance at Karma and immediately get pissed off at the fact he was almost dying of laughter, I grab his sleeve and drag him to the counter, although I gently gave him my little kitten so my hands could be free, before aggressively signing to Karma to get our waitress.

“Alright, calm down Nagisa,” Karma said, grabbing one of my hands, the cat was held in his other hand, and holding my hand to stop me from continuously signing aggressively _‘Get the waitress, get the waitress!’_ “we had a waitress that knew sign language that would come back to our table once everyone had arrived. Did I get that right?” I nod quickly and look at our hands and try to gently remove my hand from his without success. 

“Oh, Kichi right? Yeah, I’ll go get her, she was just gushing about how some mute kid there was _so cute!_ Anyway, I’ll be right back.” _Hana_ said, the name tag said that that was her name, and walked to a door, the same door Kichi did, that had **_staff only_** on it. 

“Aw, the waitress thought you were cute!” Karma said, giving the kitten back and grabbing my pigtails and floofing them.

I cuddled the cat closer and shook my head, moving farther away from Karma so he couldn’t touch my hair anymore. I peeked at Karma to see him laughing to himself and that left me with my mind open to all the thoughts bouncing around in there. _His touch felt good like it always did. His laugh is so full of life it makes my heart warm-_ I snap out of it when the kitten boops my nose with its little paw. I smiled at it, opening my mouth and doing the action of going to eat its paw, it retracted its paw and started to rub its head on my chin.

Moving my head upwards to let it do its thing I saw Karma staring at me, our eyes met and he looked away to the counter. I follow suit and see that Kichi is there staring at _me_ and giggling quietly behind her hand.

“Alright,” Kichi says, trying to calm herself down a bit, “Is everyone at your table now?” I nod my head, before starting to walk back but Karma’s voice stops me.

“You gonna bring that kitten with you?” He asks while pointing to the furry ball that had fallen asleep in my arms.

I look back at him and nod, before turning back around and start walking over to our table, all slow and quiet movements to make sure the kitten isn’t woken up.

Sitting down at the table, I focus most of my attention on gently petting the sleeping kitty in my lap as Kichi wrote down what everyone wanted. She looks at me and asks what I want, with slow movements so as to not disturb the cat in my lap, I sign to her what I want and she writes it down. She bows and says rather quietly ‘be right back’ before rushing off to the counter and behind the door.

“So… What do you guys want to watch? Within reason.” Rio said, breaking the calm silence that had befallen us.

“Well, why don’t we check what the theatre is showing. Don’t they keep all the movies playing on their website?” Isogai said, taking his phone out and starting to unlock it.

Everyone else agrees and takes their phone out to check. I watch in silence as I remember how Hiromi dislikes it when I use my data when it isn’t for emergencies. Karma takes out his phone and leans in close to me, turning his phone so I could see as well, he smiles rather gently in my direction and brings his chair closer to me.

I smile at him gratefully as I get reminded that _Karma knows_. He knows of Hiromi’s strict rules and that the price of disobeying is dangerous and _painful_. 

The girls all chose either drama, romance or both together. The boys wanted action and violence, most being rated for ‘teen and up’. The two teams were arguing while Karma and I watched, finding the argument amusing.

“What do you guys think!” Rio said, whipping her head around to stare at us, her gaze makes me a little uncomfortable.

All of a sudden, everyone was looking at me, their eyes wiggling it’s - _condescending, menacing, villainous, destructive, evil, violent, controlling_ \- gaze deeper into my body, slowly getting closer and closer to the weak and fragile inner self that I’ve tried so hard to keep safe- I heard a rather tired _meow_ from the little kitten in my lap, everyone’s gaze followed the sound and I suddenly felt extremely relieved and grateful to this saintly cat. Out of gratitude, relief and adrenaline, that kicked in the second I felt _something bad,_ I gently picked the sleepy kitty up into my arms and nuzzled it.

"Alright! How about we finish up here, pay and then decide when we get to the theater, okay?" Kayano said, rushing but she continuously looked in my direction as I tried my best to curl into myself with the cat in the middle. 

Everyone agrees and we sit in somewhat awkward silence, waiting for our food after we all finished our drinks already. Kichi came and gave us our order, that's when everyone started talking again, everyone talking amongst each other. Although Karma and I did nothing but eat and pet the kitten in my arms, suddenly, everyone burst into laughter, I quickly looked to Karma to see that he wasn't laughing either.

So we both missed the joke. 

“Right Nagisa?” Maehara said, looking my way and dragging me into all of _this_.

“I don’t think Nagisa was paying attention,” Rio says, smiling gently my way after everyone nods in understanding and keeps talking between each other.

It's moments like these that I know that I am truly lucky to have friends like Rio and Kayano, I just wish I could do more for them to pay them back for everything they’ve done for me.

We paid our part of the tab and made our way to the theatre, picking a film was a struggle but we finally all decided on one movie. Thankfully with that over, we got our drinks, popcorn, snacks and made our way to our seats, that too was a struggle since everyone started fighting over where the best seats were. 

Mid-movie I started to get sleepy, I was so excited and nervous for my first group hangout that I barely got any sleep and now it’s coming back to bite me.

I, personally, don’t like movies since all their acting seems fake to me because I’ve been acting for years now in my own personal movie. Although there is no script and there are no other actors and actresses beside me and my mother, _~~and the consequences of my actions are very real,~~_ It’s just like a movie of my life.

I had been rambling on in my head that I didn’t realize I was half asleep and, more ~~importantly~~ embarrassingly, my head had fallen onto Karma’s shoulder. I have to complain about how stupidly cliche this is! This is stupid, why is this happening to me, _I_ don’t even _like him._

At this point, I’m honestly too tired to complain or to even care, at least he will be useful to me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa has a panic attack out of nowhere (not really, but you'll understand soon enough)
> 
> Karma is a veteran when it comes to taking care of Nagisa and he wouldn't have it any other way
> 
> Isogai is so sweet, he never hated or thought differently of Nagisa, he has been on Nagisa's side since day one
> 
> -And this was the day a protection squad was formed-
> 
> The poor worker has no clue whats going on and he's just trying to be helpful but everyone is yelling at him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A WARNING FOR THE CHAPTER, REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU READ IT, MAINLY THE PANIC ATTACK. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING:
> 
> For Nagisa, time is moving slower than it really is, for him, it feels like it's been 10-15 minutes but in reality, it's been around 2-5 minutes. He is struggling to calm down and ground himself, he is also in a very stressful environment with unfamiliar faces (that he can't even see) and unfamiliar sounds (that he can barely hear). He's trying his best to sidetrack himself to kind of distract his own mind, which is why he is trying to focus on what's happening around him. And if he was brought to a hospital for no reason other than a panic attack, his mother would kill him (if she really would, we don't know). 
> 
> I also mention that Karma is trying to ground Nagisa and how he knows to do that is because, as mentioned in the summary, he has already helped Nagisa through many other panic attacks. (I must mention that Karma here is also panicked since this attack was brought on randomly with no stimulus to set it off. It makes no sense as to why he would have one in a very calm and carefree environment. This is also why he is not as effective as he normally would be, he is radiating nervous and panicked vibes and that isn't helping Nagisa).
> 
> Also, understand that I won't go into the panic attack too deeply (it'll spoil something in the future) and I don't exactly enjoy depicting something like that too much but I'll still warn you.
> 
> \--THERE IS A PANIC ATTACK, you won't miss much not reading it but it's isn't too bad so I believe is you are uncomfortable reading panic attacks, you won't have too much trouble reading this.--
> 
> (The panic attack is mainly the entire chapter, if you really don't want to read a panic attack just skip this chapter, you won't really miss anything.)

Something was shaking me, I was asleep? Right, I need to go to school, wait- I jump out of my _bed_ and crash into the seats _(_ _?)_ In front of me, whipping around to find that it wasn’t my mother waking me up with her _tools_ at the ready to make sure I will regret having to make her wake me up, but instead, it was Karma who looked worried.

Looking around I see everyone looking at me weirdly and I immediately feel self-conscious, I get up quickly and hope everyone will forget it ever happened. 

“Nagisa, are you okay?”

I knew it was wishful thinking. I turn to Kanzaki and nod and sign _sorry_ , Rio and Kayano translate for those who didn’t know what I signed and I turn to Karma who has my sweater. I reach for it but Karma moves it above his head and I immediately give up, knowing exactly where this was going, no use in trying something that is physically impossible.

I turn to the others with a blank face and they all start giggling. At least I have successfully made them drop the subject but, with the looks Karma’s giving me, I know I won’t be able to make him forget it that easily. Hopefully, evasion will work? Oh, who am I kidding, Karma can find me easily and can corner me, that _big strong dummy_.

My eyes widened and I’m snapped out of my thoughts. I remember I used to call him that whenever he was showing off his strength in front of me, I called him that out of instinct.

A shiver runs throughout my body.

What have I been thinking, I’ve been getting all buddy-buddy with Karma again and I _have_ to stop it. I try reasoning that I’m only acting friendly so that I don’t ruin the mood and lose all my friends for being so gloomy and depressing. I know my reason is weak and completely _not true_ but it’s the best thing I could come up with.

Making it out of the theatre, I was hanging at the back of the group, everyone was talking about the movie. I was barely paying attention to anything they were saying, stuck in my own thoughts about my situation with Karma, and worrying if Hiromi will be mad at me for some reason. 

A lot of the time she can get mad at me without any provocation or true reason, and when this happens she normally isn’t yelling about what I did wrong and is instead eerily quiet will dragging me to her bathroom for _punishment_. This is one of the reasons why I never ask for anything, one second she’s agreeing and the next she makes it out like I  _disobeyed_ and _lied_ to her like I  _betrayed_ all the ~~_trust_~~ she put into me.

**Ȉ̶̞̲̜̤͙̟͖͑̓̂̕̕͜t̷͈̩̯̣̋̃͛̑͘'̸̧̣̞̐̕͠s̷̱͎͎͈̱̈́͗̔̓͗̂̚ ̴͙̼͉̣͆̈́̏̃̕͝͝ṗ̵͉̳̃̍̅͊̌a̴͍̖̥̬̅̔́͆̏̚͝͝t̴͉̦̻̞̰̍̉͊̒͜h̶̯̤̮̠̬́͆̕ĕ̵͙̰̑̔͜͠͝t̸͓̻͋̎ì̴̧͎͚̬͕̲̥̥̔̈c̶͉̤̲̓̀̓̐͆͂̕͝ͅ ̵̛̟̤̝̳͉̠̎͛͑̒̂̿ḧ̸̨̧̯̠̝̻̯́̈́́̌͊̈͝ȍ̷̡̮͙̫̤̣̔̋̒̕͠͝w̶̹̩̋̑ ̵̨̡̤̮̘͕̼̗̹̏̃̔̇̚͘e̵̟̜̟͋̓̇̈́͗̓̑ḁ̶̢̗̖̏͊͌͑̃̈́͠s̸̜̹̊̽̃̍̅̃̕ẏ̴̮͍̺̯͈͂ ̴̘͔̝̳̖͖̪̟̬̓̕s̶̡͈̾̉ͅh̵̬͐̒͆̌͝ě̸͎̻̰̫͈̏͗̊̂̈́̓̍ ̸̢̪̦͊̃̓͛̿͗̐̾l̶̹̱̊̇̒͠e̵͉̅̏͂̍̎̏͘t̵̢͚̩̣̻̯̭̥̆̋̃̇̔͝s̷͔͓̘̿̀̇̅̑̀̈͛ ̴̞̖̦̦͆̈́͠ ̵̘͋͐̾̓̓͛̑͘h̷͚̭̖̉̽̒͒́͠e̷͕̞̬̖̲̲͓͚̓̉͒͘͘r̸̙͓̜̘̘̕ ̶̨̡͈͈̿̈́̀͒ͅo̸̥̘͔͈̠̍̒̎̿̕͝w̸̧̙͔̼̱͋̈́͘n̴̡̻̼͍̠̅̈̓͋̀̍̕ ̶̢̜̫̙̰͉̠̜͆̈́m̸̜͔̙̳̲̠̩̥͝ͅi̸̲͝n̴̗̼̘̯̒d̷̲̰̰͎̯̍̑̉͛̊̉͝͝ ̷̛̣͍̓̽̈̔͛̊̈́b̵̮̞̱̖͍̋͂͛͊̔̚r̸̨̪͉̬̿͌̆̎e̵̻̥̻̪͎͇̳͚̍̓̇̒͜ä̶̘͙̇̈́͌̆͜͝͠͝k̶̘͎̭̺̯̻̲͌̄̐͘ ̴̭͇̲̓̀̀̇̾̎͘̚͜h̶͖̱͑̿̊̀͊̇̈͘e̶̛̥͕̳̋͂̀͛̉̄͛͝r̶̢̖͇̮̲̣̼͑**

I lurch forward, tripping into Isogai and he turns around rather quickly, _his poor spine_ , and grabs my shoulders and keeps me steady.

I feel dizzy and I lean all my weight onto Isogai, using my own arms to keep myself up, everything starts to blur out and I could barely hear any of their voices, all the concerned calls of my name or the panicked ‘Are you okay?!’ are at the back of my mind. I look around and see strangers entering and exiting the theatre all move away from us, some brave few come closer but it seems that the others are keeping them away.

I start to tremble, losing all strength and falling back. Isogai slows the fall but lets me lay down and holds my head up, some sound comes back and I can hear some bystanders ask us if they should call an ambulance. Hearing that I panic, if I go to the hospital Hiromi will be mad because I caused her trouble. I can’t go to the hospital, I can’t let them call an ambulance.

In a burst of fear, my mind clears up just enough for me to call out to them. 

I stop myself.

~~I can’t speak, nononono, I can’t mess this up, I’ve been so good I can’t-~~

I turn to Karma, he’s on my other side opposite of Isogai, he’s unzipping my sweater and using his own sweater as a pillow for me, tucking it under my head and Isogai lets my head fall onto it. I grab Karma’s hand, which was just on my shoulder, grounding me a bit, and start shaking it calling for his attention. Once he looks at me I shakily start to sign.

‘I can’t go to an ambulance, don’t let them call one-they can’t take me, she’ll be so mad-please stop them’

I hear a collective gasp all around me. I looked at all the strangers gathered around me in a circle and saw them with their mouth wide open in surprise, their eyes showing pity and sadness.

I hate that, that look when they see me sign like I suddenly became fragile, like a doll made out of thin glass. 

I despise it.

Karma turns my head to look at him and he smiles at me, I lose the clarity of the fear and now all of the murmurs from the audience I have gathered has become one big rumble of deafening noise. Karma catches my attention again and nods his head slowly and exaggeratedly. 

Good, nice to see Karma understands. Someone burst from the crowd of on-lookers and they come to me quickly and with purpose, I don’t like it, ~~_why are they getting so close? Who are they? What do they want?_ ~~

I grab onto Karma again, I also reach for Isogai since I know where he is and _who_ he is. I grip their hands and tug them close to me, using them as protection. The person, who now looks like someone in a black or dark uniform, sees the panic in my eyes, _I think-I’m really guessing at this point_ , and backs away a bit but seems to call to Isogai, I can barely hear them talking _, they started raising their voice and its loud,_ back and forth through all the white noise ringing in my ears but I see the, _I’m guessing,_ uniformed person rushes off back into the crowd.

Other people in uniforms _, I think,_ come and herd the crowds away and another comes over. I think they talk a bit, and suddenly I’m being picked up in Karma’s arms and moved to the side.

I’m sat down on a bench and Karma sits right next to me, using his and my sweaters to put weight on me. I think I see him talking to the others, those with sweaters take them off and give them to Karma, he adds them onto my shoulders and it now acts as a weighted blanket.

Having all this warmth on me I realize how cold I really am, curling into myself, I close my eyes and snuggle into Karma’s side. He puts his arm around me and turns slightly to me, putting my head to his chest. 

I hear his heartbeat, It’s a nice rhythm but it seems slightly sporadic, I start taking deep breaths and Karma does it too. We follow each other's breaths and breathe slow and calm, big breaths and calming hearts. 

I jump a bit as all the sound comes back to me in a tsunami of noise.

It’s too loud.

I cover my ears and slowly rise back up, Karma moves his arm back to his side but stays close to me, I open my eyes but keep them squinted, the flashing lights from the arcade makes it hard for my sensitive eyes to see. In fact, all my senses are overly sensitive after trying so hard to work throughout my panic attack. 

I see a man standing off to the side of us, Kanzaki and Sugino are talking to him. I see Kayano go to them, passing by, she smiles at me in a concerned but relieved way, and they start to walk back with the guy in tow. 

“Hey Nagisa, how you feelin’?” Rio said kneeling in front of me, putting a hand on my knee, and rubbing it in a calming way. I liked the contact, it helps. I nod and she turns to the guy in the theatre's uniform, _so those were the uniforms I saw_.

“I got you something to drink, I hope it’ll help and don’t worry about paying for it, it’s free.” He said, giving me a cup filled with some kind of juice, from the coloring I think it’s one of their slushie drinks. 

I go to take the cup but never actually grab it, my hands are shaking like an earthquake. I pull my hand back and look down, I hear a small ‘oh’ come from the worker.

Karma shifts a bit, I look up at him, he’s reaching his hand out for the cup. The worker gives it to him and Karma holds it in front of my face, the straw near my mouth. I give a little grateful smile and start drinking it, _I was right, it was a slushie._

After a couple more minutes of everyone calming down, and everyone constantly making sure I was okay, we thanked the worker, who’s name was Akihiro, _I liked his name,_ and got on our way. 

Karma and Isogai were still next to me, Isogai had our arms linked together and Karma was just nearby, although I felt his hand graze a couple of times so I knew he was ready to catch me in case I got dizzy again.

_We wasted three minutes arguing on who should bring me home while I kept trying to tell them not to do that, I won the argument by walking away. Isogai and Kanzaki - who stopped fighting after I said I didn't need anyone to walk with me - said goodbye to me and let me go._

I got home and was so thankful to see the note on the front door saying that Hiromi won’t be home until later in the night, she also said she might not be awake next morning to make me breakfast, _even though I always made is myself_. 

Wow, this day is just full of excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions about the panic attack or anything else in here then don't be afraid to ask them in the comments, I'll try my best to read and answer them so that you have a nice time reading this and enjoy it to it's fullest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa gets back home and wants to take a walk because he enjoys the silence and passiveness of nature and of animals  
> (He's always been able to get squirrels and bird to stick around him like he's Snow White. He's even sat a few feet away from a deer once.)
> 
> Hiromi's being a horrible parent but she's taking it to the extreme
> 
> We learn of how fragile Nagisa's defense is against Hiromi's random moments of anger and violence that comes from her bipolarity and other illness.  
> (Said unknown illness shalt not be named) - (until later on (･ω<)☆ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS ANOTHER WARNING FOR THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER  
> In this chapter, descriptions of some violence and abuse. I do not go into much detail but I give enough so that readers understand what Nagisa is going through and how severe it is. If you do not enjoy reading this kind of stuff or are sensitive to it I suggest you skip this chapter. Once again, you will not miss much skipping this. I try to keep it that way for sensitive readers.
> 
> PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED - UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN LIMITS

I fell asleep rather easily and had a great sleep, even overslept a bit and it felt _great_. This kind of freedom to do what I want is completely foreign to me, so oversleeping was the only thing I could think of to do in my time of freedom, maybe I could have stayed up late but that is dangerous since she will probably still wake up.

Anyway, I made myself some breakfast and started to watch the news. I _might go jogging if the weather is nice, go to a park and just relax in the sun, have a nice time listening to the birds sing their songs. Oh, that sounds wonderful-_ Hiromi’s bedroom door opens and I turn to see her looking awake and ready for the day, I nod to her and rush into the kitchen. 

I always make extra for Hiromi because she once freaked out because I didn’t make her something to eat, better to be overly cautious than to make a mistake and pay dearly for it. Anyway, she says her thanks and eats her breakfast at the table while I go back in front of the TV to watch the news. They were finally covering the weather so I wanted to listen in.

“So how was your little hangout?” Hiromi said, getting up and putting her plate into the sink, leaving it in there for _me_ to do later.

‘Pretty good, we had a lot of fun and the little kittens they had at the cafe were cute.’ I signed, doing it a bit slower since my mother didn’t take a lot of time to learn sign language and usually makes me text it to her instead.

“That’s good, did anything exciting happen?” 

I’m immediately reminded of the fact that I had a panic attack in the middle of the cinema lobby and made a huge disturbance and I am hoping she doesn’t somehow know of it. Fear grips at me as I shake my head no, watching her expression carefully for any signs that she might know about what happened.

She just nods her head and takes out her phone, typing a bit before scrolling around on it. She looks up at me and gets up, walking around the couch and sitting in the small loveseat off to the side of the couch, and she goes right back to her phone.

Having nothing to do now that I have confirmed that the weather is okay for jogging, the news is just droning on about political things that I don’t really care for, and I take my phone out as well. I see that Rio and Kayano texted me a bunch last night and I smiled a bit, they truly care for me and I am grateful, Sugino texted too but not as much as the girls did.

Sugino asked if I was okay and then when I didn’t respond, told me that everyone else wanted me to have their phone numbers and so he listed all of them, then he texted me 'good night'. 

I immediately add everyone else and text them with the same text; _‘Hello, this is Nagisa, I just got Sugino’s texts and have added you all.’_ Rio always makes fun of the fact that I text with perfect punctuation and perfect spelling, actually taking the time to write the full word out properly and correct mistakes I make. She also made fun of the fact I didn’t use abbreviations, she then got all serious once I told her I don’t- _didn’t_ \- know what abbreviations to use when texting.

I was always confused at what ‘idk’ or ‘brb’ meant and I was never allowed to use my phone at school and my phone is normally taken away on school days so I never got around to searching up what it meant. 

_After Rio, Kayano, and Sugino, who got pulled into the mess, got around to teaching me a bunch of known abbreviations and telling me what they meant, I finally felt like I understood a lot of texts a whole lot better. I then questioned why I hear people say these abbreviations used in texts out loud and all hell broke loose._

I smiled at the memory, Rio and Kayano thought very passionately about things, I’ve never gotten the chance to really get attached to a hobby or interest like that. Observation became one after I realized I had a knack for it and it didn’t take many resources. Then, after Korosensei came to teach us, assassination became another hobby. Not like going around and assassinating people but more like training for it, making moves through things I’ve seen others do, and things I know I can do.

Then, with the assassination training courtesy of Karasuma-sensei and Korosensei, I learned of my muscle memory and practically photographic memory and my skill to memorize abilities, techniques, and moves and use them for myself. This is why I’m not really scared of fighting anyone since I have technique on my side, and no one knows of my ability as of yet.

This is kind of like my trump card, my ace in the hole and I was gonna keep it that way so no one would think twice before training and sparring in front of me, or showing me, _little old weak and puny Nagisa_ , their own secret moves or trump cards.

Everyone thinks I’m useless so they don’t bother to think about my presence near-by, but I can't be mad at them, every single one of my classmates and teachers are adding more and more to my already rather large arsenal of technical moves, attacks, counter-attacks and defensive moves that I can't be mad about being ignored or being tossed to the side whenever something rough is being taught. 

And, instead of always calling it a special ability or photogenic memory or other big long names, I simply gave it a new and shorter name, Mimic.

If ever in a fight, which I try my best to avoid most of the time, I would normally use techniques and skills known to many like martial arts; Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, and other things that are well known of. In doing this, anyone in a fight with me would think that I just practice the martial arts that the moves I used came from. I've only ever watched only videos of the moves or watched tournaments on the TV.

I had been responding to Rio and Kayano’s texts on auto-pilot as I got lost in my own thoughts, rethinking, again and again, different ways to utilize the attack we ( _my classmates_ ) learned, seeing if I could match it with others and make some kind of combo attack or combine it with another move to make it a bit different for different situations.

Lost in these calculating thoughts I never realized how Hiromi was staring at me, watching what I was doing with a careful and schooled expression.

_I knew she was looking at me I just didn't give it much thought._

I was worried I would lose my thoughts so I got up quickly to go and get my notebook but was stopped by Hiromi uttering my name, my _full name_.

I whipped around to see her _eyes_ full out glaring at me, but her face seemed calm, and she marched closer to me, reaching her hand out to grab me. I saw how tense she was and knew immediately that she’s furious! Why? I have no clue. Maybe she assumed something and acted on her anger. No matter what, this is dangerous because I don’t know what I supposedly did wrong, I have no way of judging the ferocity of her abuse because I don't have all the variables or all the situations.

I don’t know her thoughts.

_I'll never even understand her thoughts._

I have never done anything like _hanging out with friends_ before, maybe she thought something about it that she didn’t tell or ask me? Maybe she was furious because she had somehow known I had caused trouble? Mothers have a weird instinct but my mother has an even weirder and more dangerous one. One that I wish she never had, one that I wish she never acted on.

I won't depict exactly what happened, with the adrenaline rushing through me and the fear paralyzing me, it was all too easy for her to do as she pleased. Even if I was able to fight back I wouldn’t, she is someone I can’t fight back with because no matter how strong I am, she has a mental hold on me, on that I believe she _knew_ she was created when she did all those _things_ to me as a child. 

But, for now, or forever, I will never know what is going on in her mind.

For the beginning of Hiromi’s abuse for today, she dragged me upstairs by my hair and threw me into her bedroom’s bathroom. The bathroom in her room is more private than the bathroom at the end of the hallway, her bedroom door is always locked unless she is just going in and out. 

Hiromi is surprisingly careful, although most of the time I barely remember anything since my mind has become used to blocking out the more painful memories, I always remember how she cleans everything up. What she uses and how she does it, how she keeps everything she uses for this _activity_ locked away from the public's eye.

It’s not like she never has anyone over, she has many friends she hangs out with and drinks with here and sometimes she’ll bring some dude and go on a house date with him. I’m not allowed to leave my room unless I have to go to the bathroom, get something to drink, or, sometimes she has them over for supper, so I am allowed to eat with them at the kitchen table.

From what I can remember of today’s abuse was a loss of breath and unusual cold wetness that seemed to help with the choking feeling I got. I was being drowned.

I remember red, she had cut me using one of her knives used specifically for attacking me, I only remember this the most because of the scabs and scars it leaves behind.

Hiromi is always careful not to leave scabs on my body in visible places. If she knows that someone has seen them and questioned them, she will surely bring me very close to death.

~~Sunday wasn’t any better.~~

She had left me tied up in her bathtub, bleeding out and cold. She had left a little bit of water in the tub for me to sit in and for the blood to mix in, it’s not as hard to wash away if it’s mixed with water. The water was cold and she had, for extra measures, put some ice cubes into the water.

She had also put a lot of them inside of my clothing so that it would get my body down colder, she did it while she was having fun drowning and cutting me so that my body was cold, to begin with, and didn’t warm up. 

The next morning, Hiromi brought me downstairs and threw me to the floor in the kitchen. It was tile flooring and that’s easier to clean. She does nothing but stares at me as I dissociate, watching from the back of my mind as I run from Hiromi mentally, letting her do what she needs to do to relieve her anger and I’ll clean up the mess of a body _I_ become after she is done. 

I barely feel it, I’m not _there_ to feel it. I’m _never_ there to feel it, but I can still _feel_ it.

Everything passes as a blur from the beginning to the end and all the pain molds into one big rock that’s being held back by a temporary wall made of fragile and thin branches that only slow down the rock's initial impact.

It all felt like a dream, but the _blood_ and _wounds_ and _scars_ left behind are _real, very much real._

~~**_They always are._ ** ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For me, it seems like I wrote two fillers but I assure you it's building character for my AU's Nagisa.
> 
> If you have any questions on how Mimic works then don't be afraid to ask, I will answer them as fast as I can and as clear as I can.
> 
> Having confusion about Nagisa's main ability which will show up multiple times if not throughout this whole AU (it is part of how our Nagisa here is super badass) will lead to misunderstandings that I don't know if I can clear up later on.
> 
> Have a good read ~ Sora (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome the new members with some light-hearted banter and then put them through initiation.
> 
> Nagisa is a small and innocent bean
> 
> ~Nagisa Protection squad, make your move~~
> 
> Welp, let's go down this rabbit hole

The next day at school was _painful_. 

No matter how good at medical care and first aid, my wounds would still hurt. And the smaller ones that have already started healing are super itchy.

Let’s just say that I did _not_ have a good day.

Rio and Karma noticed it the moment I walked in through the door, normally I’m the first one to class but I had to take everything extra slow to make sure I didn’t hurt myself. They had seen the way I was walking and the way that I just acted in the few seconds it took for me to walk to my desk and sit down, I could _feel_ their gaze blanket me in worry and concern. I had to stop that and so, with the mindset to stop the two geniuses from worrying and most likely noticing sooner or later or to stop others from noticing, I had acted the most _natural_ I could get when acted as myself.

At least the Nagisa that everyone else knows.

Then, I barely listened to what Korosensei was teaching, nor any other teacher for that matter, and they all knew but didn’t say anything. I say that others realized this and some started to glare at me, they were whispering to each other about how I somehow got the teachers off my back about not paying attention and whatnot. It was stupid but we’re teenagers so they isn’t much we can do about the crazed emotions and weird thoughts.

That’s just an excuse, really, if we are being honest here.

Once it was lunchtime I had finally snapped out of my daze and realized how I didn’t listen to anything. I was most concerned with the thoughts of the teachers, will they worry for me or will they just ignore it. 

Or will they send Bitch-sensei after be again, now that is the worst possible outcome.

Once everyone was seated at the base of the big tree closest to the building, _it’s our usual lunch spot_ , we were going to enjoy our lunch in relative silence when we noticed people approaching us.

“Hey guys, mind if we sit with you?” Isogai said, leading the others that hung out with us on Friday.

“Oh, we don’t mind, right guys?” Kayano said, looking at all of us. Rio was nodding along before her head snapped up to me, _I normally sit in the tree on a branch above them since I enjoy the security I get with seeing everyone nearby_.

“Nagisa, you okay with them sitting with us?” Rio said I could see her fingers sometimes twitch to do the sign of the words but she kept speaking so that everyone could understand. I smiled gratefully at her and her concern but I was fine with it so I nodded my head in response, I could see all the newcomers relax significantly before smiling up at me and sitting down with the others.

Maehara was looking at me funny, not in a bad way but more like he was confused.

“I got two things to ask about the situation here,” he said, gesturing around him at all of us “First, why is he in the tree? Second, why did we need his approval to sit here?” 

“Simple, he is our princess,” Karma answered smoothly, a smug look on his face as he glances at me and my reaction.

I was mad and embarrassed, my face was completely flushed red.

Karma, Kayano and Rio all laughed at my reaction and Sugino sighed in exasperation, I silently thanked Sugino for being done with them too.

“I can answer the first one,” Sugino said, ignoring Double Trouble and Kayano who was still giggling to themselves. “ Nagisa likes to be able to know who is where when there are people nearby and to know if anyone is coming. I’m sure all of you have caught the way the others treat Nagisa.” Sugino finished up, a solemn look on everyone’s faces and suddenly I didn’t mind more laughing. 

“I don’t understand why they treat Nagisa the way they do,” Okuda said, a tint of frustration in her voice full of sadness. My heart warmed at the simplest and most vague hints of someone being sad or mad _for_ me, I’ll take what I can get really.

“It’s because he’s different,” everyone turned to Karma, eyes wide and confusing visible on their faces, “ he can’t speak so the teachers don’t call on him as much and he’s weaker so he doesn’t have to work as hard in the gym like everyone else. They’re jealous that he gets ‘special treatment’ and they don’t and, because we’re The End class and the laughing stock of the school, people are looking for the runt of the class to pick on and release their frustration. Bullying 101. And, as for your second question, that’s something we can only tell you with the green light from Nagisa.” 

Everyone looked a bit pale after that but Kanzaki bravely looked me in the eyes and took a deep breath.

“Nagisa, would you mind sharing with us the answer for Maehara’s question?”

All of my friends seem to suck their breath in and look to me out of the corner of their eyes. I didn’t like this. I threw my empty lunch down and jumped down myself, landing in a crouch, before sitting on my knees and pulling out a little notebook I have on me in case I’m in a situation without anyone to translate my sign language. I gave the notebook to Sugino, after I had found the right pages, and pointed to the beginning of the explanation I had written down. Sugino nodded in understanding.

“Nagisa seems to have given me the ‘go-ahead’ to read his explanation, this is the same one all of us have been given as well. _‘For those who I gave permission to know of my situation given that I will speak no more I am not mute and never have been. The reason for my lack of a voice is mental, this is called being selectively mute. This happens when something traumatic happens and the patient loses the will to speak, sometimes it’s during episodes or in certain situations or with certain people. I may be selectively mute but I haven’t spoken in a long time, no one in this classroom has heard my voice,”_ while Sugino said that I stared hard at Karma as he looked at me with his eyes clouded in something, _“ and I most likely won’t speak throughout this entire year and so on. I wish not to share with you what happened that made me lose my voice but know that I have trusted you with the truth of my muteness and I hope you will respect the fact that I want no one else to know of this.’_ “ he finished, closing my notebook and giving it back to me. We, the ones who already knew, were watching all the facial expressions the others were making as they either stared off into space or focused on a single blade of grass. I could hear the gears turning and finally, Isogai gasped loudly and looked at me, his eyes telling me he solved the hardest puzzle out there.

“Whatever you went through, does it show on your body? Is that why you always change once we are all gone?” he said, and Maehara looked just like Isogai and the girls looked a bit confused.

“What? Is that why you’re always out last Nagisa?” Okuda said, tilting her head a bit. 

I nod my head and, suddenly, I feel very self-conscious and curl in on myself. I can hear sad ‘aww’s escape the new members of this little group.

Sugino shifts closer and puts his around my shoulders and brings me closer, holding me against his body. Rio and Kayano move in closer and hug me as well and, to the surprise of everyone, Karma got up and moved behind me before getting back down onto his knees with a single hand resting on my head moving ever so slightly, petting me a bit.

I peek through the bodies of the two girls in front of me and saw that all the others were smiling at this scene, looking in between each other and nodding.

“ Damn Nagisa,” Maehara said once everyone had stopped hugging me, getting up and walking a bit closer to me, ” look at you, getting all the girls.” Maehara jokes, at least I hope he’s joking.

‘But I’m gay.’ I sign, Double Trouble, Kayano, and Sugino all burst out laughing and I watch as Maehara looks at my hands with a somewhat intense gaze.

“Nagisa, that was perfect!” Rio howls, slapping her knee then my own for some reason.

“Nagisa, they can’t understand but damn it that was beautiful!” Kayano says, wiping some years away and trying to calm herself down.

“Sorry, how about I translate for you but keep in mind the timing to what Nagisa signed, okay?” Sugino, the one who can always calm himself down the fastest in these situations, says, “Nagisa, after what Maehara said, responded, with the calmest and most confused face ever, ‘But I’m gay.’”

Everyone else started laughing.

Oh, so he was joking. 

Actually, that didn’t really tell me if he was joking or not.

Lunch finished and now I have new friends, I asked Karma to clear things up for me and I was right, Maehara was, in fact, joking!

After that, I started to pay attention to the next classes and Korosensei noticed, he also seemed to brighten up after noticing.

I was really happy until the bell rang, and everyone started to get ready to go home. I immediately schooled my expression before I could let my disappointment and fear _and pain_ show, I just seemed like every other high school student going home. Korosensei asked me to hang back so that helped, he asked about the new group I was hanging out with at lunch and I told him about the hangout. He seemed really happy for me, he even hugged me. The hug was warmer than I thought.

Or was that my heart.

After that nice and _very warm_ interaction with Korosensei, I was a bit less unhappy about going home, more of a saddened neutral. Then I became a _wet_ saddened neutral, it was raining so hard it was pushing the leaves that were overhead downwards and letting the rain pelt my scalp directly. I was drenched in seconds and there was nothing I could use to keep the rain from getting to me, I was already at the bottom of the hill and I was _not_ going to climb that again and I have no idea if the rain will pass or not.

I ran down the sidewalk and reached a little bus stop that at least had a little roof I could stand under. I had no idea the times of this bus or what stops were so I knew I was just going to wait it out. 

I pulled out my phone and used my never used data for the first time this year and texted my mother to tell her I was caught in the rain with no umbrella. The bus stop had no bench and so I opted to lean against the pole of the sign that showed this was a bus stop, it was kind of wet and some droplets reached me from the wind but I was already tired from school and going down a very slanted hill without falling that I didn’t really care about getting even wetter. My mother had yet to return the text so I put my phone back into my pocket and closed my eyes, letting my tired eyes rest for a bit. 

I like the sound of rain, it’s very calming.

A car horn honked out of nowhere and scared the life out of me, and I jumped _high_ in the air.

Now that’s not calming.

I look to see a car I don’t recognize right in front of the bus stop, I could barely make out the silhouette of the driver gesturing me closer. I had nothing to lose so why not. {Please do not approach a car or someone you don’t know, that’s stupid}

The driver rolled down the window and to say I wasn’t shocked is a lie, the _principal_ of _K_ _unugigaoka_ high school, _my school_ , was the driver of this car.

“What are you doing out in the rain, you’ll get sick.” once he said that I heard some **_darker_** undertone to what he said and was immediately thrown onto the defensive. So, I simply nod my head and point to the roof of the bus stop.

He seemed a bit confused as to why I didn’t talk so I moved my hand like you would when showing someone talking too much or just talking in general, and crossed both my index fingers like an ‘X’, I think he got it after that because he didn’t ask.

“I saw that you were just standing there and wanted to ask you if you would want me to bring you home? I would be a pretty terrible Principal and father if I let one of my students freeze in the rain,” he asked, his face taking on a softer tone when he joked.

I smile gratefully and nod my head, he gestured to the back care door right in front of me and I nodded once more before opening the door and being surprised, once more, to see someone else I knew there. I really should’;t have been surprised since I knew Asano was the son of the principal but whatever, at this point I couldn't care less.

I got into the car and I didn’t lean back and tried my best to not touch the car with my soaking wet clothing. The position was uncomfortable but I would feel bad if I got the car seat even wetter then it needed to be.

“So, Shiota right?” Asano said, his reluctance to speak with me was easily heard in his voice but, for some reason, he tried to keep a conversation going with me. I simply nodded and tried my best to seem interested in what he had to say more.

“Where do you live?” Principal Gakuho said, looking at me through his rearview mirror. I squinted my eyes in confusion on how to tell him when I remembered and opened my bag quickly, I got my notebook out and scribbled down my address in big letters and passed it to the principal. 

Once we were at a stop sign he took a look at my notebook and nodded to himself and then gave it back. I nodded gratefully even though he didn’t see and put everything back into my back.

The only thing that made this awkward silence bearable was the sound of the rain and the hum of the car, I snuck a glance at Asano and saw that he was openly staring at me, I turned to the window rapidly to avoid his stare, _I felt like this happened somewhere before but something's different_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, I will alter Asano's situation with his father and you will see why I added a certain tag.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, all you bad parents out there, you better watch out because Detective Nagisa is on the case.
> 
> Gakuho is trash and we need to burn him alongside Hiromi.
> 
> Asano is very nice when he isn't trying to keep himself from breaking down and trying to keep a front up.
> 
> Nagisa and Gakushu will be the bestest of friends and there is nothing that will stand in the way of these two overprotective friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I am making the situation with Asano's father much worst than it really is and that this is a complete AU full of Ooc characters because of the different parent to child relationships.  
> It is still very close to the canon timeline with roundabouts and other different things.
> 
> Also, WARNING, there are talks of abuse and slight mentions of abuse at the end.

As we were getting closer to my house, I think both Asano and I had already gotten used to the awkwardness of this situation, I could hear sirens getting louder and louder.

One street away we could see some lights flashing, they were red, blue and yellow. The lights seemed to color the raindrops that were on the windows, they looked pretty.

At the turn to go down my street we were stopped and not allowed to go in, the police officer with the _‘slow down’_ sign explained that lightning from the storm had hit one of the trees and it had fallen onto the other trees from the small forest. The fire from the tree had spread to the mini forest that spread around the block, the trees seem to be sheltering the grass that had caught on fire with the blast from the lightning, or so they presume. It was a danger to all the houses and apartment complexes on the street and so they closed it and everyone has been safely brought to a hotel two streets down and are staying there, 50% off the original price.

I waved for the attention of the police officer and, forgetting not everyone knows sign language, tried to sign to her that I need to know if Hiromi was okay and that the house was okay and that the cute little twins next door are okay.

“Calm down Ma'am, if you have any questions I have an officer that knows sign language. If you want I could go get him?” She said calming, keeping her voice level but gentle to not agitate me more.

“HE asked if a bunch of people were okay and if his house is okay,” Asano said, looking bored and fed up at being here. Maybe the constant sirens were annoying him, or maybe it’s because he had to translate for me? No, he didn’t have to, maybe it's because I’m here and he just wants me gone. Yeah, probably.

“Oh, well... Everyone is okay and no one was harmed or injured and the fire hasn’t spread to any of the houses or apartments yet. That was our first goal, to keep the first from damaging anyone's home.” The police officer explained calmly, giving me a gentle smile, then her face switched to show that she was worried.

“I’m sorry for calling you ‘Ma’am’, that must've been annoying, sorry Sir.” She said, bowing in apology. I shook my head once she stood up straight again and gave her a little smile hoping she would get what I was trying to say, more cars started to come from behind so we had to keep going.

Principal Gakuho parked at a gas station and, with a quick ‘I’ll be right back ‘, he went inside the 24hr store.

_Asano Gakushuu visibly relaxed, like a deer that outran a pack of wolves._

_Like he escaped his worst nightmare._

I understood his actions and reactions now, it was never making any sense and I thought that they were all my fault since I was the odd man out, the newcomer, but, with this uncontrollable reaction, I can see it.

I had known Asano from last when I was on the main campus, in my time in class 3-D. Someone from the big five knew one of the people I hung out with and so the Big Five would help my ‘friend’ group study. Asano would occasionally come and help or just study on his own time and I tried to get close to him, something seemed off about him and I wanted to know what. 

One day, the principal found us out but he didn’t really do anything, and Asano reacted badly. He froze when principal Gakuho had found us out but he had visibly flinched when the principal offered to help the group study.

_His violet eyes held the look of cornered prey._

_He looked like he was about to be eaten in the slowest and painful way possible._

Asano quickly wiped the expression from his face and gave his father some reason as to not help us study, I think it was along the lines of _‘When we help these class 3-D students, we also help ourselves. Teaching can help us remember things better as well.’_

The principal knew it was some kind of on the spot excuse but relented anyway. But, at that time, when I hadn’t even gotten the brunt of Hiromi and her _punishment_ , I couldn’t tell what was familiar about the look in the principal’s eyes. Now I know, and, now I see it all the time.

There’s no denying the proof being shoved right in my face, plus what I have gathered from the car ride as well.

_Asano Gakushuu and I are one and the same._

And if Gakuho was as dangerous then as Hiromi is now... I can’t even imagine what Asano could be going through. I need to act now or something bad could happen to Asano.

I poked Asano on the shoulder to get his attention and, once I got it, I took a deep breath and spoke, _signed_ , my mind.

‘Asano, your relationship with your father, is it good?’ 

“What do you mean?” Asano said with a cold voice but his eyes showed that he was scared _there was also something almost hopeful in his eyes too_.

‘I’m just asking a question, you don’t need to get defensive about it.’ I answered, watching his expressions _very_ carefully. His emotionless mask slipped as he went to defend himself, I cut him off.

‘Unless there is something to be defensive about.’ I had started it as a fact instead of a question and, from how his eyes widened, he knew how much of a difference that made.

‘Asano, be honest because I can tell when you’re lying, are you being abused?’ I had asked, giving him away to completely open up to me on his own accord instead of me forcing it out of him.

_He started crying._

My eyes widened as tears slipped from his eyes and down his cheeks, not many but enough to know that he _trusted_ me. I, of all people, know the importance of this trust and of how detrimental it could be to be foolish with the trust is barely formed and new. So I just gave Asano a smile, grabbed his hands, and held them tight, silently telling him I am there for him.

He smiled back.

He had immediately cleaned his face afterward and made sure it didn’t show that he had been crying, keeping a watch out for Gakuho.

“Nagisa, I have to know, how could you tell, we barely hung around each other?” He said, turning my way and watching my hands.

‘Last year, the 3-D class you and the rest of the Big Five studied with was the people I hung out with, I was pulled into the study group by them.’

“Oh”

‘And your father had found us out once, your interaction then is where I got most of my suspicion from.’

"How did you get to the conclusion of ‘child abuse’?” He asked and, damn, he’s just cornering me. 

I’m surprisingly not that scared to tell him, we might need someone to rely on and since we share the same experience then the bond will only grow stronger. 

‘The look in your father’s eyes from that time reminded me of my own mothers. And the way you acted around Gakuho and how your eyes looked all reminded me of myself with my mother.’

“Your mother?” Asano tested, looking at me quizzically before continuing,” You’re being abused as well?” I nodded and, as I saw his eyes widen at the fact that I was in the same boat as him, I smiled gently at him.

“Is that why you don’t speak?” He asked, eyeing my throat and, consequently, my choker covering my scars. I peeked behind him at the store and didn’t see Gakuho walking to the car so that meant he was still inside, I took my choker off and showed Asano my scars. 

His gasp was quiet and choked out at the end, he leaned in closer and his hand had started to travel towards my neck but he stopped, looking hesitant to touch the rough skin.

I smiled and grabbed his hand and brought it to my scars and let him feel it, he was barely touching my skin when he was moving his fingers back and forth to feel the texture.

He sat back and I put my choker back on.

‘I’m not mute’ Asano interrupted me with a rather loud _“what!”_ but I continued anyway, ’I am selectively mute. With how smart you are I’m hoping you know what it is? It’s a pain to sign it out for someone.’

“Yeah, I know but, if you aren’t mute then what’s with the huge scar?” I correct Asano by making the sign of ‘SCAR’ and then the sign for ‘S’ signifying the plural of scar. Then I shrug, and sign ‘PUNISHMENT’ as an answer to his question, Asano seemed to understand that I don’t really like talking about it and just nodded his head solemnly.

We sat there with our heads down for around a minute before the car door opened and principal Gakuho sat down at the steering wheel, he passed us a plastic bag and inside it were two water bottles and two bags of candy. _He took too long in there just for this._ I look at Asano and see he seems to think the same thing.

“ _Father_ ,” Asano seems almost horrified at the fact he just called Gakuho his father,” why did it take so long?”

“There was a line-up and,” Gakuho said, turning to look at us, _at me_ “I called your mother and told her that I had picked you up from a bus stop and asked her what hotel she was at so that I could drop you off there. I also got you some water and candy, that’ll help if you were panicked.”

After knowing my theory was _correct_ , everything he says and does is making my skin crawl and suddenly, I can hear the undertone from before again and so much clearer than before. 

I hate it.

I took the candy out and saw that both Asano and I had lollipops, a little baggie full of them. No matter how nice he’s acting, he’s just trying to get another student on his good side, I know how these kinds of parents act, I have my own.

I can practically see the strings attached to all of Gakuho’s moves, how practiced his moves are and now, with Gakuho here, Gakushu is moving that way as well. 

Gakushu is not only acting to make the third party unsuspicious but, now, also to make his _father_ unsuspicious of our friendship. And, with the way Asano is eyeing me and how I’m responding to Gakuho, I know that Asano is seeing how practiced my movements are too.

How used I am to this.

How used we _both_ are to this.

Asano and I, to place our attention somewhere else, have opened our bags of lollipops and are both eating one. Principal Gakuho doesn’t seem interested in us all that much but I can’t trust an _actor_ that acts his own life so I continue to watch his body language, from what I can see of his body, and I stare back whenever he looks at us through his rearview mirror.

I am cautious and careful but keep my body like before, seeming to feel awkward and uncomfortable with the situation, and keep my expression trained.

I watched him closely but watched myself even closer, I couldn’t slip up, not when there is something on the line, not when it’s more than my own safety on the line. I can’t give Gakuho any reason to harm Gakushu in any way, shape or form, not when I finally have someone like me to fall back on to, when I finally have someone who understands the reluctance to trust others and to tell others of our situation, not when we finally have someone who understands what the other needs.

Principal Gakuho went back the way we came and passed the street where my house is, we needed to drive slowly so I got a good look at everything, there was still so much _fire_.

Suddenly I was hyper-aware of how the rain had stopped and it smelled more of smoke than before.

My phone buzzed and I was jostled out of my daze, I grabbed it and checked who messaged me. Obviously, Hiromi had texted me to tell me everything that Principal Gakuho already told me. She was also apologizing for not seeing that I had texted her before and not being able to come and get me from the rain.

Asano jerked straight up and then proceeded to slump back down, his arm reaching towards me slowly and as hidden from Gakuho's sight as possible. His palm facing upwards, he beckoned with his fingers to give him something, I looked up at Asano and saw him eyeing my phone. Oh, he wants my phone. I give it to him and he fiddles with it for a bit, looks at his father for a few seconds before slowly giving my phone back. I immediately checked it to see that he had added himself to my phone, he even texted himself, using my phone,’This is Nagisa Shiota’. 

We turned a couple of times before going down the main road, a couple for silent minutes later, Gakuho stopped in front of a hotel. The first thing I saw was a bunch of my neighbors all standing outside and talking, the kids were all playing together, Hiromi was standing with her friends.

Everyone turned to look at the car stopping in front of the hotel, the twins popping out of nowhere and looking right at me before they looked to their mother and jumped around her. I had gotten out of the car after saying goodbye to the Asanos and thanking them for taking me home, Gakushu had given me a small smile while we said goodbye.

The twins had rushed over to me the second I turned away from the street, I had to drop my bag to catch the one that had _jumped_ at me while the other hugged my legs. They started to talk over each other but I understood the gist of their cacophony of whiny voices full of complaints and wants.

Once I got away from the twins and the rest of the neighborhood children, Hiromi berated me for inconveniencing the principal and I had probably ruined their car seat with how wet I was and, once I told Hiromi why I was late and got caught in the rain, she had started to get hysterical.

She threw me to the ground and started kicking me.

“You’re so cold and wet **_dear_** , maybe you should take off your clothes and get into a warm bath. Here, how about I help you.”

She went for my belt first, taking that off and using it as a whip. She then demanded I take off my shirt and so I did as she asked, moving robotically as I tried my best to not dissociate when she was in the mood to make me work for punishment.

For the rest of the night, while I tried to sleep peacefully in my bed, my back stung even without anything touching it. I didn’t get a good night's sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asano and Nagisa will sail the seven seas on their ship which is named 'friend' and no icebergs will ever stop them cuz they'll melt them with their cuteness.
> 
> By the way, just to make sure you know, Asano and Nagisa will not end up as a couple in any way, shape, or form. Their love for each other is strictly that of friends, they arbor no romantic feelings for each other.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka is a potato with his emotions
> 
> Terasaka and co. have now joined Nagisa
> 
> Nagisa is a koala confirmed, also Asano is acting like an older brother with how unfazed he was with Koala Nagisa
> 
> Asano and Nagisa realize how much they look like a couple but they don't care 
> 
> Also, Ikemen Asano

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because there are so many conversations with Nagisa in this one, especially the back and forth between him and Asano, I've come to say that I know how sign language is worded and how they don't use some words and such but think of Nagisa's dialogue as what he wants to say. 
> 
> In the last chapter, I think I mentioned that questions are worded differently in sign language so please be aware of things like this. there are none in this one but just for future reference.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this （＾ｖ＾）

Changing last has always made me feel anxious, not as anxious as showing all the boys my scars but anxious enough. Even though I hate making everyone wait for me to start P.E. class, the support from those that know _why_ I don’t change with everyone else makes it all better.

Ever since my little group of friends grew and the newcomers knew of my discomfort with changing in front of others, more faces will give me gentle smiles of encouragement and I have more people I can spar with under Karasuma-sensei’s close watch. I liked having more friends, I never knew it could feel this good having so many other people know some of my situations and be there for me.

It makes me feel like I missed out but then I realize I never wanted to be the outcast, I never asked to be the weird one that everyone bullied because they're just that easy of a target. At least now I have more people to stand up for me when Terasaka and his group seem like they are going to hurt me. Terasaka wouldn’t dare try and hit me when the girls would stand in his way but now he won’t even get close because I’ve got more dudes who could beat him, especially with Maehara and Isogai, as well as Sugino all against him.

Speaking of Maehara and Isogai, I have to say, I love their teamwork! Their ability to work together in perfect harmony is practically impossible! Watching those two fight _together_ , rather than fight _each other_ , is beautiful. Talking about those two reminds me that I want to talk to them about how they can fight so in sync as they do, how they got to that point, and is there any trick to it. I’m so invested in my thoughts and writing down all I can about the teamwork between Maehara and Isogai that I don’t see or hear the person walking up to me.

“What makes you so special?” 

That voice makes me jolt up, fear rushing throughout my entire body and all my muscles flex as if I was preparing to run off. I turn my head stiffly to stare up at Terasaka, my eyes wide and aware, looking for any subtle movements from the corner of my eyes in case his friends try and sneak up to hold me down. My eyes flicker past Terasaka to see his ‘friends still all present in training, I focus back on Terasaka and tilt my head sideways to show that I’m confused.

“Why are you given special treatment?” Terasaka asks, with what I can hope to be genuine confusion and curiosity. I pride myself on my ability to know the true emotions or hidden feelings in others by their wavelength, so I know that Terasaka, for now, doesn’t mean any harm and is really just curious. 

This ability, once again, stems from my mother and a defense mechanism to try and understand her. Now it’s just a warning for me to know if I have done something wrong and to prepare myself mentally for her ‘punishments’

I stare at Terasaka for a bit then, from the corner of my eye, I see that Korosensei is looking at me. I signal him over and he appears not a single second later, already in a sitting position behind me and his tentacle taking the hair ties out and getting ready to play in my hair. I give a little sigh at his antics before signing over my head so that Korosensei can see.

“Nagisa has asked me to translate his signing for him so that he can speak with you,” Korosensei said, seeming to give no thought on what he does in my hair as he brings all his focus on translating for me. Terasaka gives a little nod and has the most hilarious expression that just screams ‘what the hell just happened!’

“You asked why I’m so ‘special’ and why I’m given ‘special treatment’, right? Well, the short of it is that I’m unusually weak, you already know this, and if I fight any one of you guys, who can’t yet control your strength, then one of you could break my arm attacking me. I am just too brittle to really take any of your strength, especially someone like you who relies on his strength in his fighting style. Do you understand?” Korosensei translated, seeming already bored of translating and went back to focusing on my hair and starting a braid.

“Yeah, I get that, I mean why are they so protective of you? Like we could break you just by staring at you.” Terasaka said, starting to use his hands to try and emphasize what he is saying. I go to sign in response when a new voice interrupts me.

“It’s because he _can_ break from everyone else's stares, or as we see them, glares,” Karma says, sitting on a branch overhead. He almost seemed like he was there the whole time but I doubt it, that would seem like he cared about me and worried that something could happen.

“Just because he’s mute and physically weak doesn’t mean he’ll break from our stares! Not like we’re glaring at him like we are trying to tell him to die!” Terasaka almost sounds offended, but he always does when Karma speaks to him with a tone that says ‘it’s all your fault’.

“You may not be telling Nagisa to die but have you considered that the collective glares and sneers from peers could make him feel like that is what everyone wants from him?” Korosensei says with a gentle tone, barely focused on the actual argument. Terasaka gives Korosensei a look that says he didn’t realize, I know Terasaka isn’t as mean as he makes himself out to be. 

I feel like he, himself, was ostracized for looking delinquent like and wasn’t able to make friends as easily because of it. I wave my hands to try and get Korosensei’s attention so that he could translate, I get a hum from him and I start signing once more.

“Terasaka, I don’t need to know why you hate me or why you occasionally give me a glare that says you want to hurt me but, what I do know is that when you approached me right now, you didn't want to hurt me. Even throughout this whole conversation you never had given me the feeling that you even hated me. I don’t know if you started hating me because everyone else did or if you hate me for another reason and, if you do have a reason, I would like to know it so that I can try and make it so that I don’t anger you. I didn't want to anger anyone in the first place if anything, I wanted to make friends with everyone, and yet the only classmates that didn’t glare at me since the beginning were the ones who I am friends with now.” Terasaka goes to interrupt Korosensei but Karma stops him and keeps him quiet, ”I get the feeling that you didn’t have the easiest time making friends, you were probably thought to be a delinquent by how you look and so students didn’t want to be friends with you, am I correct?” 

Terasaka is quiet as he gapes like a fish at me. Soon he closes his mouth and looks down, I poke one of Korosensei’s tentacles to make sure I have his attention and continue signing.

“Even before I stopped talking, back when I was on the main campus, I had a hard time making friends. They found it weird that I looked girly and some even thought I was trans since I was growing my hair out. A lot of boys would try to flirt with me before they would give me this disgusted look when I told them I was actually a dude, then they would tell all their friends and they, as a group, would sneer at me and call me names. Once the majority of my classmates knew I was a boy, and yet looked so girly, they started to believe I was gay and would insult me and write homophobic slurs on my desk and a lot of boys would taunt me.”

Terasaka looks horrified as Korosensei keeps translating, I could feel my mood, and everyone else's, go down. 

"They, a group of really mean boys, would corner me in the bathrooms and do bad things like trying to undress me to make sure I really was a boy. They never could actually undress me since the teachers would check up on us and drive the boys away but that never stopped them from trying. The reason why all of this really hurt me and affected me was because I actually _was_ gay, still am and forever will be. I knew never to tell them but it still hurt.” At this point I could see tears in Terasaka’s eyes, he opened and closed his mouth as if he wanted to say something. Korosensei, right after finishing my little story, got up to stop Karasuma-sensei from interrupting and Karma walked away, back into the forest.

Terasaka whipped his tears before they could run down his cheeks and walked forward and sat down next to me, with a smallish distance between us, and sighed.

“You’re right, by the way,” He said in a defeated voice, he gave me a little smile before he continued, “I’m really lucky to have friends and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. They’re really funny and they made my life a lot brighter… I’m sorry, f-for being so mean to you without even _knowing_ you. As my first step to make it up to you I think I should tell you about the rumors going around the people who, for a fact, don’t like you. Things like you seducing the teachers to make them give excuses so that you don’t have to do anything in gym or so that you're not called on in class.” 

I go to pull out my notebook to communicate with Terasaka but Korosensei appears in front of me with a whiteboard and a marker.

“Also, Terasaka, you’re excused from this next activity if you wish to stay with Nagisa,” Korosensei says before disappearing once more and reappearing next to Karasuma-sensei.

“Um, do-uh, do you want me to, um, stay… with you… here?” It’s actually adorable how awkward he is but I don’t want him to feel too awkward so I nod to him. “Oh, um, okay… Thanks, I guess?”

Truly adorable how such a big and strong person can act this way. I don't understand how such an awkward boy was mistaken as a delinquent.

That was the start of my friendship with Terasaka and his friends. I can tell that I will truly enjoy having them as friends, just in a little over 10 minutes of being around them I could see what Terasaka meant when he said they brightened up his life, he acted way different around them then in public. 

They are good friends and I hope they stay friends for a long time.

School was out in a flash, I could feel the difference in the classroom now that Terasaka and co. weren’t in on the whole glaring thing.

It was nice.

I was walking down the hill with my friends and at the end of it we all went our separate ways, and so I waved goodbye to them and started on my way to the hotel. Today was the day that the firefighters had finished checking our homes to make sure nothing caught on fire and none of our homes had smoke in them. It was nice of them but it took a while, luckily we were moving back today. 

I can’t wait to get my room back, with my super comfy bed and the smell that I was used to.

“Hey, Nagisa!”

I could wait.

I turn to see Asano walking towards me, seemingly out of breath. I’m on him immediately and signing my concerns like crazy and fussing about him and why he was out of breath.

“Stop, I can’t even understand you.” I stopped signing, “I ran off in hopes of losing the rest of the Big Five so that I could meet with you, I guess I was too excited cause I can normally run faster without breaking a sweat.” He gives me a genuine smile and I feel super blessed. My heart swells with emotions and I launch myself onto Asano with a laugh, _our height difference makes my feet hang so I just wrapped them around him too._

“Glad to see that you’re happy too.” He said, holding me up and starting his traverse down the sidewalk. “I was thinking about going to get some Boba, do you want to come?” I let my arms unlatch from around him to sign to him, my legs still wrapped around his waist because I had never seen this high up before, it was magical and I wasn’t losing it. 

Short people problems, especially cause I’m a boy, no other dude in class is as short as me, only girls.

‘Sure, my mother normally doesn’t really mind if I’m a bit late, especially if I tell her what happened truthfully.’ 

“Hmm, my father could care less, as long as I still have time to study all my classes and finish all my homework. That rule normally falls in my favor since I do my homework at recess and lunch so I just need to study.”

‘Lucky, I wish I was as smart as you, then my mother wouldn’t be on my case about my grades cause they won’t get me into _her_ dream college.’

“Don’t you have some awesome friends in 3-E?”

‘Yeah, you’re right. Oh! I want to tell you I made some new friends today!’

“Really? Why weren’t they your friends before?”

‘Probably peer pressure made him hate me like the majority of the class but, after learning more about me and my hardships and realizing he was being a _hypocrite_ , he became my friend and the rest of his group followed along. They’re very amusing.’

“That’s good, I would’ve loved to meet all your friends but I know that’ll end badly, for me and probably for you too.”

‘Why?’

“The students on campus are known for bullying class 3-E, especially the Big Five, to keep up a hierarchy.”

‘Right, and Karma has a rivalry with you too.’

“Yeah, anyway, We’re here,” Asano announced, crouching a bit before letting me drop down. Customers sitting on the outside benches of the shop were all talking, very loudly mind you, about ‘how much of a cute couple we are’. Asano and I just stared at each other before bursting into laughter.

‘Wonder if they are giving something away to couples?’

“Oh, I think if we act cute enough that they’ll just give anything to us for free.”

‘You’re Ikemen enough, you could just seduce the girls at the counter to give us the Boba for free.’

“I never understood what makes a person an ‘Ikemen’?”

‘You poor, oblivious child. I shall teach you the way.’ We laughed for a bit before we reached the counter, we got our order and Asano paid, I was _not_ happy with that but I couldn't do anything about it, and we left.

We got to the train station and said our goodbyes once Asano was off, we take the same train but get off at different places. On our way there I had explained what makes a person an Ikemen and why _he_ was on too.

Hiromi kept teasing me once I told her I was late because I went to get Boba with Asano Gakushu. At first, she teased me cause he’s the principal's son, I told her that that wasn’t the reason I hung out with him so she thought we were dating. That was an ordeal but I finally got her to realize we were just friends and asked her, because it seemed like she was in a good mood, if it was okay that I continued to hang out with him after school. She obviously said yes and then proceeded to tease me thinking I wanted to keep hanging out with Asano because I liked him. I don't like him like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Nagisa DOES NOT have a crush on Asano and Asano DOES NOT have a crush on Nagisa, THEY NEVER WILL!
> 
> Anyway, just remember that Terasaka and friends haven't been through initiation yet so they don't know about anything.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asano is super observant when it comes to his little bro (they probably have a sibling-like relationship at this point)
> 
> Terasaka and co. have been formally introduced as Friends™
> 
> Ritsu's introduction was long and most of it was a filler *and completely canon to the original* but it was to make a start to another beautiful friendship  
> (Fun Fact: Ritsu used Nagisa's phone for the first-ever model of Mobile Ritsu)
> 
> I also give BS reasons as to why there is no chapter for the Kyoto trip  
> (Not much would've changed since who pulls out their secret move so early on)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things I'm gonna say before you read this chapter
> 
> First, There was a TIME SKIP ON CHAPTER 9!!  
> I forgot to address this in chapter 9 so I'll address this now, I have skipped time **I will go back to edit it once I get this chapter out**
> 
> Second, because of the time skip, Asano, Isogai, Maehara, Kanzaki, Okuda - who are all know friends of Nagisa - have had time to get even closer. At this point, Asano and Nagisa have called each other in the middle of the night for comfort after something bad happened with their abusers. Calls and texts to show that someone out there will always be there for them, just simple comfort between two broken boys. Mentions of this will appear after the first conversation between Asano and Nagisa in this chapter and may be referenced again.
> 
> Next time I shall remember to tell you guys when there is a time skip to avoid making the same mistake. (like with this chapter!!)

**Time skip to after the Kyoto school trip (The one with the girls, besides Okuda, getting kidnapped by delinquents from another school)**

A scream tore it's way through my throat as I jolted forward, grappling my neck and gripping it, my nails tearing at my skin. Beadlets of blood dripping down my throat and staining my pajama shirt, gasps escaping my gaping mouth as I struggle to intake any oxygen.

"What the HELL are you screaming for at 4:47 in the MORNING! Don't you know that women need their beauty sleep!" Hiromi said very loudly, making sure she didn't yell to alert the neighbors, as she burst through my bedroom door, her face contorted in anger. 

I didn’t pay any attention to her though, I just kept trying to keep _breathing_.

“What the hell! Stop that!” Hiromi says, grabbing my hands and stopping me from ripping the scarred skin. She seems annoyed with my gasping and so she smacks the back of my head really hard and I suddenly can breathe but everything is a bit dizzy. A headache starts pulsing pain from the point of the impact at the back of my head to the rest of my brain, it hurts.

Hiromi throws clothing at me, slamming my bedroom door on her way out, making my headache throb in pain with the loud sound.

Hiromi didn’t even let me make my own breakfast, kicking me out once I was ready. She glared heavily at the bandage around my neck, my choker was over it, and muttered under her breath something that seemed like ‘ only ugly little girls hurt themselves... wear such an ugly bandage...’

The train ride to school was rather calm, even though it’s always calm since it’s early before rush hour, and I could close my eyes in hopes of helping my killer headache. After many nice female students from another school have asked me if I’m alright, I have finally arrived and gotten off my train.

“Nagisa?”

I jump at my name, turn around and scan the very thin crowd and find a strawberry blonde-haired boy waving his hand lazily in my direction. I jog over and give Asano a quick smile and we fall into step together as we make our way out of the train station and onto the sidewalk.

Asano’s been giving my neck the stink eye for about a quarter of our walk and it’s worrying me now.

‘My mother didn’t hurt me, this was done in a panic after waking up from a nightmare. I actually think the fact that I had already made myself bleed is what stopped Hiromi from punishing me more for waking her up earlier than her alarm.’ I signed to him with a calm and sturdy expression.

“Nagisa… You can’t hurt your neck. The skin’s already scared enough, don’t give it more scars, one day you might actually hurt your voice.” Asano said, his voice seemingly going lower as he spoke in a hushed tone. He really didn’t need to since there was no one around but I appreciate it anyway. 

We don’t speak for the rest of our walk there, just content with being in each other’s presence.

We separate as Asano turns down a path that leads to the main campus, I keep walking.

At the start of the hill to our secluded building, I could see the waving forms of some of my friends. Okuda, Kanzaki, and Isogai were all waiting for me and the others, I obviously joined them and waited patiently for everyone else to come.

While we’re waiting I am left to my thoughts, after talking about my voice with Asano and how I could still end up actually mute if I’m not careful made me realize how unfair I am to him. When we call each other for comfort I can’t say anything, it’s Asano that talks for both of us. I think, with what Gakushuu went through and how similar our situations are, I could, no, _should_ trust him more

“Hey, Nagisa!” I heard a call from further down the sidewalk, it didn’t sound familiar. Looking in the voice’s direction I find Terasaka and his friends walking towards the hill, all with little greetings of their own for me.

“Terasaka, what are you doing!” I heard another voice, a much more familiar one, call from the other end of the sidewalk. This I knew for a fact was Sugino, and the rest were with him too.

“What do you mean? I’m saying hello to a friend.” Terasaka sounds completely genuine that it makes everyone falter a bit. I giggle a bit at their reactions before walking up to him and waving, Kirara pats my head and Taisei wraps his arm around my shoulders, making me move along with him up the hill.

“Nagisa? When did this happen?” Rio said, jogging a bit to walk next to me, on the other side of where Taisei is.

‘Terasaka came and asked me some questions, we talked a bit and became friends. The rest of his friend group befriended me as well, they are all very nice people once you get past the little front they’ve put up, mainly Terasaka put up but you get it.’

“Oh… They’re not forcing you to do anything?” Rio grabbed my hand, gripping it hard. Since I can’t sign, I just shake my head ‘no’. Rio seems content with my answers and lets go of my hand.

“Hey, Nagisa… why weren’t you there at the Kyoto school trip, class 3-E was finally allowed to go!” Terasaka asks, his arms waving around trying to emphasize how words. I went to start signing to Rio for her to translate but Karma started speaking first.

“Nagisa’s _’mother’_ doesn’t always allow Nagisa on trips like this. I don’t know why but she just doesn’t like certain trips, maybe it's the place or the length of the trip, who knows.” Karma had so much hidden venom in his voice as he said that, especially whenever he was mentioning my mother, it made me feel like he actually cared… But I was simply trying to push my fantasies onto Karma, and a short little phrase, in hopes of trying to see something that isn’t really there.

“Oh, well that sucks,” Terasaka says, his mood dampened immediately.

We reached the top, Taisei had removed his arm from my shoulders, and we entered the classroom to see some big black box in the back of the classroom. Everyone else who was already inside was giving it the same weird stare full of caution and curiosity.

“Everyone, sit down and I’ll explain what it is.” Karasuma-sensei’s commanding voice demanded us at our seats, we obeyed quickly, and all paid close attention to what he was going to say next.

“That’s the Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery, AIFA for short, it was built and brought to us in hopes of it learning the best and most efficient way to kill the Octopus. It is to be treated as a fellow student, that means the arrangement concerning the students' safety applies to it as well, got that Octopus?”

It seemed rather peaceful at first but after a couple of dangerous shootouts orchestrated by the AI, everyone seemed fed up with it. After everyone had reached their limits, someone had the guts to tape up the machine to stop it from being able to take out its guns.

I personally thanked Terasaka after we learned it was him that did it.

Once Korosensei gave AIFA the pep talk about teamwork and working with your classmates and other very important stuff to make it realize it was doing more harm to more people than it was doing _‘good’_. Now it will apparently start to take us into consideration before they make a move.

“I have successfully finished scanning all of my classmates and have come to the conclusion that Nagisa is-” A loud bang cuts the AI’s speech. Everyone stares at Karma, who is standing upright next to the AI, it's obvious he did it.

“Scanning us and then spilling things we most likely don’t want others to know if _NOT_ taking your classmates into consideration, that's more like betraying us. Now, hopefully, you will use that smart little computer brain of yours and _never_ finish that sentence.”

After that, everything was a blur. I had too many thoughts coming in and out of my head that I could barely register what the thought even was. So many were considering everything I previously thought about Karma but then I would have thoughts telling me that it’s all a trick and violent pranksters such as Karma shouldn't be trusted. I also have many thoughts about what the AI was about to say and if it really was going to say what both Karma and I thought it was. Maybe it was going to point out how I’m the center for all the hate-filled glares, I doubt it but it could be a possibility.

School ended faster than I thought possible and I still barely registered the walk to the train station with Asano and the walk from the train to my house. It all seemed like it passed by in five seconds, and now I was staring at my ceiling, considering many things such as the meaning of life.

The next day at school, I actually dreaded entering that classroom. The fear and anxiety I got from the idea that the AI could spill my secrets to everyone was bone-rattling. But, something felt different the second we walked in. 

“Good morning everybody! Hi there!”

I suddenly had the urge to scream and cry and probably pass out all at the same time.

The AI that was hell-bent on killing the teacher and they would probably kill one of us as well, even if it was an accident they wouldn't care, is now super cheerful and... has a full body? What?

“I’ve made some adjustments to her programming and so now she will hopefully be much more human-like and she will learn how to interact with everyone by watching how we interact with one another and even with her,” Korosensei explained, appearing at the front of the classroom with his prideful green stripes.

The class had mixed feelings about this new upgrade from the mean killing machine from yesterday. I really only care about if this version will try to spill my secrets again or am I safe now, I guess I’ll have to be ready to make a lot of loud noises if she does because I doubt that Karma will stay in class for this.

Recess, everyone was crowded around the AI, some were playing chess with it and some were marveling on how this AI can create anything. Even I have to admit, no matter how fearful I am of it, It can do a lot of pretty cool stuff. 

Everyone else seemed pretty frustrated about it having such a long, boring name that they all decided to shorten a part of ‘Autonomous’ to make Ritsu. Everyone, even Ritsu, liked the name.

But I’m still pretty amazed at how Korosensei programmed emotions, Ritsu even cried in a situation where crying would be the appropriate emotion to use! She hasn’t once acted inhumane with her new, programmed emotions. Korosensei’s pretty cool!

Apparently, Ritsu’s creators didn’t think that Korosensei’s tinkering was as cool as we all did. The next morning, we had all entered class hoping for our fun Ritsu but instead got an emotionless, calculating, and very insensitive AI. We all seemed pretty sad because of the loss, and scared.

While in class, no one could really focus on what we were learning about, everyone was looking at Ritsu, waiting for her next move. Once it seemed like Ritsu was turning on, her screen flashing green text that scrolled too quickly for the human eye to follow.

The hatches from the side had opened up, all that was next was the stupid amount of guns and a mind-boggling amount of BB’s being shot across the classroom. I think everyone held their breath for a second then… flowers.

Ritsu had managed to hide some of the more important changes that Korosensei did to her and rebelled against her creators. Looking around, I could see that everyone was happy to have our Ritsu back.

With class going undisturbed, everything had flashed by fast and we were all getting ready to go home. I had just grabbed my bag and began walking away when Ritsu called out to me.

“Nagisa, do you mind if I speak to you?” I think I know exactly what it is she wants to talk about, and yet, I nod anyway. I walk up to her and stand in front of her.

“Just for easier communications, I shall inform you that I understand sign language so feel free to use it around me.” She gave a big smile, before losing all the happiness and becoming very serious, “I only needed to do one scan and, although my creator believed that all the data I collected on my classmates were useless, I hid your data from them so that I could confront you about it. Anyway, the point of this conversation is the fact that I have a lot of proof that indicates you are being abused or have been abused in your past. I would like an indicator to know about all of the scars around your body as well as the reason as to why you are acting mute with a perfectly good voice.” There is really no hiding it, she wouldn’t be the best military AI out there if she didn’t have a lie detector. I just wanna be sure anyway, just in case.

‘I’m guessing you’ve most likely got some kind of lie detector?’

“You are rather observative, and you are correct, I monitor your heartbeat and your brain activity as well as how your body is reacting after saying certain things and your body language.”

‘Okay then, I might as well get this over with, you are correct about the abuse thing and it is happening in the present. It’s my mother but I wish for you to not tell _anyone_ about this, I can take care of myself.’

“Ah, so it is most likely selective muteness, then, correct?” I nod and Ritsu seems to think for a moment before she nods to herself and looks back to me, “I’ve decided that I will keep your secret but you are to inform me of everything that happens at your household, I would also like to know who else knows of your secret. Most likely Karma… right?” 

‘Yeah, only Karma knows, Rio, Kayano, Okuda, Kanzaki, Isogai, Sugino and Maehara all know of my selective muteness and that I have a discomfort with changing in front of others because I dislike it when people see my scars.’

“Do you agree to tell me whenever you are abused physically or verbally?”

‘Yes’

“Perfect! I will see you tomorrow then, Goodbye Nagisa!”

I wave goodbye back to her as I leave the classroom, the second I reach the building exit door I bolt to the hill, walking very fast down it, and reaching the bottom in record time. Once I finish my little race to the sidewalk I look around and see no Asano, I worry so I take out my phone and see I’ve gotten a text from him. It reads; _I’m sorry Nagisa there’s a meeting and I don’t want you to be too late so you can go on without me, I don't know when this’ll end._

At least I don’t have to worry about him now that I know exactly where he is and what he’s doing.

I sound like a mother. Ew, this is just making me more feminine than I already am.

And that’s the beginning of my quiet and lonely traverse back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is the first appearance of Lovro and, because this has nothing to do with Nagisa, really, so instead I've got a surprise that isn't canon to the original Assassination Classroom!! 
> 
> (I'm gonna kinda make Lovro and Nagisa's meeting sooner rather than later, but that isn't the surprise)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa finally spoke!!  
> Because he loves his "brother" so much!!
> 
> Nagisa's spidey senses are tingling!! (They are actually his mother senses but references are better)  
> Plus, Nagisa has officially accepted that he's a mom and has adopted all his friends
> 
> Karmagisa + Korosensei trip to the movies!!!
> 
> And if Ritsu was human, she would totally be a stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One surprise done and onto the next!!
> 
> Please enjoy your read - Sora

A constant ringing awoke me from my slumber, I stare at my clock with eyes glazed over and unfocused. It’s 2:52 in the morning and _someone_ is calling me, the ringing has finally annoyed me enough to use some energy to reach over and grab it, the ringing stopped the second I went to check who was calling. My eyes widen and fear grips my body, my chest starts hurting from how fast my heart was pumping, Asano had called me a bunch of times before.

 _Ring ring ri-_ I pick it up immediately, pulling it to my ear and waiting for Asano to speak.

 _“Nagisa… sorry for calling so early, I‘m surprised you actually picked up_ , _I’m sorry, I just- I couldn’t sleep and I just need someone with me.”_ Asano sounded so disoriented and scared, I think he could have had a nightmare.

He sounds almost pathetic but I just think it’s saddening, he’s just in junior high, no child, no minor, hell, no person should ever have to go through what he’s going through. He needs comfort and I can’t even bring it. I'm weak, I’m a coward who won’t talk when my, practically, _brother_ is suffering all on his own. 

I can hear Gakushu crying, sobbing, and it’s all muffled so he’s probably crying into his hands and trying to make sure he isn’t too loud. It’s heartbreaking, he sounds so vulnerable, like a child who has seen the terrors of this world with eyes far too young and a mind far too pure.

I hate it.

I want to make his tears stop.

“I want… to make your... tears stop…” I’m surprised by my own voice, it sounds so weird and scratchy but, what was I expecting, I haven’t used it in forever.

I hear Gakushu gasp, he at least has stopped crying, and he starts whispering gibberish.

“Nagisa, you spoke!” He whispers excitedly, keeping his voice as calm as he could with how happy he was. I could practically feel his happiness through the phone.

“I hated that… I couldn’t comf-… comfort you.” My throat hurts from talking and it feels so dry, I have to stop myself from bursting into a coughing fit by letting my voice rest, I don’t want to wake my mother or, depending on how close Gakushu and Gakuho’s rooms are, I could possibly wake Gakuho up. 

I’ve got coughs of hell.

After breaking my promise of never speaking again, I feel much happier speaking with Asano over the phone and we chatted for an hour. It's around 4:00 am now and Gakushu and I finally get off our little high from my speaking and get tired and say our goodnight.

* * *

Meeting with Asano at the train station, I could see him vibrating from excitement. The second he saw me exit the train, he rushed through everyone and jumped on me and gave me a big hug. He held me tight for a couple of seconds before he pulled back, keeping his hands on my shoulders, and gave me the _biggest_ smiles I’ve ever seen.

“Nagisa, I was tired and it was through the phone so the quality was horrible,” I knew exactly where he was going with this, ” so I want to hear your voice in real life!” He was up so late and yet he’s so energetic, I must ask him how he does it… Later.

“Okay… Sorry about… my… voice.” For some reason, my throat was even more sensitive than last night, maybe because I used it a lot so now it’s healing? That's most likely it.

“Wow, you sound so cute, it's rough and it sounds like it hurts, but cute.” He seemed satisfied with what I said and instead seems to be worried about my health and well being.

‘I’m alright, it’s been a while since I used my voice so it hurts my throat, I think I hurt it badly on that call with you since it seems extra sensitive and painful right now. It could just be healing, it did feel like I was scratching my throat from the inside out.’ I signed, reverting back to sign language now that Asano heard my voice.

“Oh, well, make sure you drink plenty of water.” 

‘I will, thanks... Asano?’

“Yeah?”

‘Please keep my voice a secret, I don’t want anyone else to find out I spoke.’ I signed, giving Asano a stern look, ‘Also, I’m happy you're the one who first heard my voice after I stopped speaking. I feel like I can trust you a lot more and I hope you feel the same about me.’

“Of course I trust you, you saved me and still are. At this point, you're like a brother to me, I love and trust you very much.”

‘You’re saving me by being someone I can love like family. Thank you, for being here and for staying with me.’

“You’re welcome, and the same goes for you.” We give each other a genuine smile and we hold hands swinging them childish. I skipped ahead and pulled Asano to my pace, he jogged lightly to keep up. I felt so childish and free around Gakushu, I thank every god out there who helped me find Asano. He feels like a beacon of hope for me, like I have something to actually fight for, to work towards.

I now have someone to save.

I now have someone to save me.

We part ways with a hug, squeezing each other as hard as we could before separating. He walked ahead and down the path towards the main building and after around 5 seconds, I passed the grand pathway to the main campus and continued to class 3-E’s own little uphill path. I find my group and we continue our march upwards to the top, Karma was surprisingly there before me.

We get to class and say our greetings to Tersaka’s group before Korosensei enters, telling us all to _‘take a seat’_.

* * *

Bitch-sensei finished up her class, most likely going to the staff room. I’ve realized that school is going by faster than before, maybe because I have more friends and people to trust. I don’t know, I’ve never had this kind of thing happen to me before.

At home, Hiromi and I barely interacted, a simple exchange of greetings and at lunch, she asked me if anything interesting happened at school. I obviously said no and that ended any other conversations with her.

Sleep found me easily after my routine check-up with Gakushu, making sure the other is safe and sound and without injury and then idle conversations about our day.

I like this routine, I hope we keep it up for a long time.

I woke up like normal, met with Asano like normal, said our goodbyes, and then walked up the mountain with my friend group, all like normal. But, for some strange reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. Just because I’m extra cautious, I walked around and spoke with every one of my friends to make sure they were okay. 

All throughout the day, I kept my eyes on all my friends, watching them to make sure nothing will harm them. I know they could defend themselves but it was to put my ‘mother hen’ mind to ease.

Seems I’ve now adopted all of my friends as children, my maternal instincts treat them like my children anyway.

* * *

Gym class was going to be both extremely fun and stressful. This class, I was allowed to join in, _under the watchful eye of Korosensei_ , so that was fun. But, that meant I couldn’t watch all my friends as close as before since I will need to focus on the activity.

I’ll just need to ask my friends to stay close to me. It seems like I'm using my weak body as a tool to make the others stay close to me, they probably think it’s because I could be injured easily and I wish to be surrounded by people I trust to help me out, which isn’t completely false.

Before we started, Karasuma-sensei explained his situation and warned us about disruptions and to stop and wait until everything is done. It was nice of him to warn us.

We would use all the knife skills we learned to attack and “kill” the other, although, I could tell that my friends had most likely made an agreement to go easy on me. It’s not like they all lost on purpose, no, they just didn’t try their very best. Some still won and some I won, it made it seem like I was equal to them.

Not like I wasn’t but they don’t need to know that.

Bitch-sensei came and tried to give Karasuma-sensei something to drink, obviously spiked with some kind of drug, and Karasuma-sensei called it out. There were only 5 minutes left of class and so Karasuma-sensei dismissed us early, letting us get dressed before lunchtime.

Bitch-sensei was complaining about how all of her tricks won’t work on someone who knows her style when I suddenly felt my hairs stand on end, a prickle ran down my spine and I felt eyes peering at us, mainly Bitch-sensei, from the forest. Curious as to who was watching us and if it was someone dangerous to my friends, maybe it was the reason I’ve been getting a bad feeling all this time.

Turning around and looking right where I felt the eyes were looking from, I saw a shadow of a person, they seemed to flinch after I looked straight at them, and they disappeared deeper into the surrounding forest. I squint, trying to follow them with my eyes as they move behind trees and I lose sight of them.

That was most likely Lovro, the assassin that trained Bitch-sensei that was also supposed to attack Karasuma-sensei, maybe he was just watching Karasuma-sensei to understand his prey more.

I look back to my classmates and see that they had all started leaving the outside field, Bitch-sensei had stayed back with me and was staring at me, her eyes calculating. The fact that she was giving me that look made me realize she most likely saw that I realized that person, _probably Lovro_ , was in the forest.

She, like many others, don’t believe I have any assassination talent, rightfully so, and I intend to keep it that way but this, this could blow my cover.

To keep up appearances, I give her a wave and go up to her, the most innocent look I could possibly pull off has now adorned my face. I gave her an encouraging pat on the back and a thumbs up, making sure to give her a very big smile, and left as well.

At lunchtime, we watched the show. Bitch-sensei winning the bet and “killing” Karasuma-sensei. Although it looked like he gave up in the end, she still put up a great fight and I think everyone was proud of her. No matter how rude or arrogant she is, she’s still part of the family.

Middle of the last class for today, I had to go to the bathroom. On my way to the boy's bathroom, I felt that bad feeling again and was on guard, my eyes scanning the area and looking for anything out of place. I had gone into the bathroom, done my business, and was now washing my hands, the bad feeling never goes away.

My heartbeat spiked, blood rushed through my body and that’s all I could hear. What if, my friends were in trouble as we speak. But Korosensei is there! But what if there is someone who can beat Korosensei there right now and is now a danger to my friends, they could even be injuring some of my friends right now for all I knew and here I am, washing my hands!?

My hearing zeroed in on a single footstep right behind me, my muscles stiffened and I had no time to look into the mirror to see who it was. I acted on fear, panic, and instinct, turning quickly and ducking down, hoping to confuse the attacker. I rushed upwards and headbutted their chin, grabbed their neck, and pushed them to the ground with my legs keeping their arms to their side. I put some pressure onto the neck I had in my grasp and I heard chuckling.

I snapped out of my panic and saw that I was straddling a rather large man that seemed familiar, I think I saw him with Bitch-sensei after she beat Karasuma-sensei. Is he Lovro?

“You look confused, I’m Lovro, Irina’s teacher. I was intrigued by the fact that you could sense that I was looking and find exactly where I was, even though you seemed fragile and everyone seemed to treat you like you could break any second. I learned from Korosensei that you have an abnormally weak body.” He said, freakishly calm about _everything_. I simply nodded, removing my hands from his neck and getting up and off him. Watching him get up before I walked towards the bathroom exit, completely done with everything.

“You didn’t have any body mass and no weight on you and yet you still, somehow, made me fall over. Trust me when I say this, I had no intention of letting you win, I was hoping to bring you down and get answers from you but instead, we ended up like that.” I looked at him with a blank stare and made a motion with my hand to keep talking.

“Your eyes, they’re very powerful and paired up with a memory like yours... I just wanted to know if you were aware of your talent and, if so, if you were wasting it.” He said, keeping eye contact throughout the whole thing, “I also decided to add to your talent. I will teach you something I believe will come into handing, later on, being in this classroom with that octopus is very dangerous, for you and your friends. You seemed very protective of them, so, to aid you in protecting the ones you care about, I will teach you The Clap Stunner.”

And so, I spent the next 2 minutes in the boy's bathroom, listening to a grown man, that I have never spoken to before, teach me about a ‘sure-fire way of paralyzing and executing a veteran enemy’.

After class, we overheard that Korosensei was going to see a movie I was into, and Karma wanted to see it for the director. Asking him if we could go with him, we made it to Hawaii and sat down in the air-conditioned room, it was cold. Thankfully, Korosensei brought a blanket, unfortunately, he only brought one.

And that’s how I got here, huddled to Karma to keep the blanket on me and to keep warm. It wasn’t that bad, he was really warm so that helped me and my cold-ass self. 

I’m that one friend that’s always cold, except I just get cold really fast.

I made sure to text Asano that I wasn’t going to be able to walk home with him and to go on without me. He was worried and wanted to know why I was gonna be late. Since I couldn't tell him that a giant yellow octopus flew me to Hawaii at Mach 20 to watch a movie, I’ll just tell him that a friend and I went to walk around in the forest near our building, it was the best excuse I could give to make him stop worrying.

After the movie, and after we were brought back to Japan, Karma and I talked a bit about the movie and about Korosensei until we went our separate ways at the bottom of the hill. Saying a quick goodbye, we went on our own way home.

At my house, I later found out that Ritsu was going to use her Mobile Ritsu “form” to watch over me whenever I’m home. I also informed her of my relationship with Asano but kept the part about Asano being in the same situation as me, I don’t want to breach his privacy since it’s his story to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter I've got another surprise!! (Maybe two depending on how I write the chapter)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itona coming in here like he owns the place, like, excuse me? What the hell did that wall ever do to you?
> 
> Nagisa is an over-thinker confirmed, and, yes, he rambles to Asano when they talk about things Nagisa feels passionate about.   
>  (Asano thinks it really cute) 
> 
> Sugino is just trying to be a good friend but he isn't made for this, he isn't ready for what he tried to do.
> 
> Nagisa and Asano probably have some telepathic way to know where the other is at this point, you can't deny it.

Talking has become somewhat a normal thing, only between Asano and me, and my voice has gotten stronger. Although my throat will still be sore after speaking, and it sometimes feels like nails dragging along my throat when I speak, it’s been getting easier and less painful to speak.  _ Gakushu gets all the credit for helping motivate me to speak and for being so supportive and patient with me, going through this with Gakushu has just made me love and appreciate him even more. Hopefully, I am helping him just as much as he is helping me. _

Asano has also started a challenge for himself every time we walk together since we don’t really have much to speak about - _ neither of us is complaining, just having someone that can love you unconditionally is enough _ . So, to give him a reason to start a conversation that can last the entire walk to and from school, he challenged himself to make me laugh out loud. ‘Out loud’ means by using my voice instead of either laughing silently or signing that it’s funny, I normally sign it when I don’t really think it’s funny but don’t want to be rude, so far Asano has been unsuccessful but he is trying his best.

I’ve been hanging out with Terasaka and his group a lot more, they all talk about really funny stuff so it’s enjoyable to be around them. Although most of them are very touchy-feely people, at least once they get to know someone, they all seem to somehow know when to stop or if they are overstepping boundaries that not even  _ I’m _ aware of. Maybe we’ve been hanging together so much that they just know it from my body language? I know it’s not my facial expressions so maybe I need to be more careful with my body language, I’ll have to stay aware of it from now on.

Class started once Korosensei entered the classroom, when I passed Rio’s desk she reached out and hugged me and Kayano gave me a side hug once I reached my desk. Korosensei had started to explain how we will be getting another transfer student, who is also an assassin sent to kill Korosensei, but I was focused on the classroom entryway. There was someone there and I knew it, I felt them there, I looked around at my classmates but they all seemed to be listening to Korosensei. 

The classroom door opened and I was on alert, this wasn’t some young high school student but, instead, a man dressed in all white. His robes covered everything down to his shoes and he was wearing a hood that covered his face -  _ he’s even wearing white gloves for goodness sake! _ \- all that was really visible was his reddish eyes. 

Upon entering, he proceeded to act rather creepy and spook everyone with a magic trick, introduce himself as the guardian of the new student, and, can I just add, even his freaking  _ name _ was white! Just to say, the amount of  _ white _ this man was made of scared me, and how brave does one need to be to walk around in full white. I don’t like him, and he was too focused on me, his eyes met mine one too many times for it to be a coincidence, his eyes were too calculating to match his more happy and responsible guardian act he had going on. He knew of what we did and he wasn’t scared or put off by it, no, he wanted to know how strong we were, individually and as a class entirely.

There’s no way he is who he makes himself out to be, and no living thing would wear all white and it gets even worse when you are  _ named _ after that same color that covers your entire body. I hate it. He’s not real, this man, ‘Shiro’, does not exist.

He explains that the new student is ‘unique’ and that he’ll introduce the transfer himself. He turns to the class door and everyone’s head follows, we wait for a tense second before I whip my head to the back of the class, Karma catching my gaze and following it to the wall behind the empty desk. 

“Hey, Itona! Come on in.” Shiro calls, still facing the door but I get a gut feeling he knows exactly where  _ Itona _ really is.

The wall that Karma and I were staring at bursts open, dust rising up and debris falling inside of the classroom, a kid walked in with silver, maybe platinum, hair that spiked out awkwardly and yellow/amber eyes. He was short too, around my height, and he had walked straight through the hole in the wall and right into his seat, like a perfect little boy. 

“I won. I've proved that I am stronger than the classroom wall.” He had said, his voice sounding very monotone. In this kind of situation, I think that most of my classmates would have screamed something like ‘Use the door!’ but instead, all of their eyes were on me.

I, only now, registered that I had gotten up and stood next to Rio’s seat, a little in front, my body language showing that I was ready to protect her. I could feel Shiro’s eyes stare holes into my body, his intrigue poorly hidden and Itona was staring at me too. It seemed more like he was  _ watching _ me like I was nothing more than entertainment. I slowly sat back down at my own desk, my eyes never leaving Itona’s and he returned the gesture.

“This is Horibe Itona. Please call him Itona.” Shiro had introduced for Itona, Itona just sitting there, staring at his desk and acting as the perfect student. Watching him physically hurt me.

“Say, Itona, something’s been bugging me. You came from outside, right? Empty-handed? It’s raining buckets out there, and yet there’s not a drop of it on you.” Karma said, his tone not too serious but not with his normal amount of playfulness. 

Itona looked around, his eyes seemed to linger on me, he then got up and walked towards Karma, who was right next to him.

“You’re probably one of the strongest in this class. But don’t fret. I have no interest in killing you, who is weaker than me. The only ones I want to kill… are those who could be stronger than me. And in this classroom, Korosensei… You’re the strongest.” Itona said, glancing at me a numerous amount of times throughout his whole speech, meeting my gaze that has never lingered from his form.

“When you say ‘strong’ and ‘weak’, do you refer to fighting ability, Itona? In terms of strength, you and I are worlds apart.” Korosensei said, munching on his jelly that was given to him by Shiro.

“We’re closer than you think. After all… We’re brothers by blood.” Itona said, holding out the same exact jelly that Korosensei is eating. Now that came out of nowhere, even I was startled a bit when I heard that.

That could mean so much, maybe Korosensei had a brother if he was ever human. If he was human, then that would mean that his form now was most likely a result of human experimentation. Maybe, going on that thought, Itona was also a result of human experimentation, the same kind that Korosensei went through. Wouldn’t that mean Itona had tentacles like Korosensei, how would they come out of his body? It could explain how he wasn’t affected by the rain like Karma pointed out, Like with Korosensei and the flight to and from Hawaii for the movie, when he protected us from the dust while flying. Itona could do that same thing but with the rain, and maybe that could be his trump card when fighting with Korosensei.

“We face off after school. Here, in this classroom.” Itona said, outside of the classroom and already closing the door. Shiro going with him.

Everyone waited for a second before bombarding Korosensei with questions about the whole ‘brothers’ thing.

* * *

Lunch came along and everyone was very tense, all watching Itona eat a bunch of candy and judging his every move to compare it to Korosensei. Then they both pulled out the same perverted magazine and Okajima started freaking out about it.

I didn’t really mind him much, didn’t like his pervertedness but he didn’t really care for me. He neither hated nor liked me and it was better than the dislike everyone else had for me. He treated me like a normal, everyday classmate.

He had turned to my table and started gushing about how if they enjoy the same material then they are ‘brothers’. Apparently he liked what Itona and Korosensei liked.

“If they're really brothers… then why wouldn’t Korosensei know?” Kayano asked, looking at everyone sitting at our table in curiosity as if we would magically have the answer but I think we’re all curious about that too.

Fuwa overheard our conversation from her seat on another table near ours and started fantasizing about what could have happened, having an over the top story that seemed to happen in the olden days with knights and kings. I didn’t really pay attention and instead looked back at Itona, seeing him just sitting there, he seemed much less dangerous than the boy that challenged Korosensei one on one after school. And also claimed to be brothers but we’ll just avoid that topic for now.

Itona raised his head and turned to look at me, staring right back without hesitation. I saw his eyes flicker to Karma, who is right next to me before they went back to staring at me. We stared for a bit before I nodded my head, like a greeting, and Itona mimicked it and looked back down, I looked away as well. He’s much calmer without ‘Shiro’ around, that could mean many things though.

Playing on human experimentation, Shiro could know or be the person who experimented on Itona, which could also mean that they experimented on Korosensei as well. I sighed out loud, getting utterly frustrated with how many different ways this story could go. Like, Shiro could just be abusive or Itona could have been raised to be a killer and not a normal high school boy. He could have assassin parents or parents who worked for some assassination place that took Itona in at a young age and grew him up to listen to their every word. 

This is all too far fetched but once that one on one fight goes on between ‘brothers’, then I can maybe get some clues as to who Itona Horibe really is, without Shiro and without assassination. Just Itona, the boy who I know for a fact is inside that doll of a person.

* * *

The class has made a ring with the desks and has gathered on the outside of the ring, even Karasuma-sensei and Bitch-sensei are watching this fight. Itona had gotten rid of his uniform jacket and now stands in a sleeveless red shirt, I can tell this shirt is made to allow Itona to move freely without the restrictions of normal clothing. Shiro has set one single rule, stepping out of the ring of desks means instant death.

“The hell? As if the loser would ever keep their end of the bargain.” Sugino pointed out, he had stepped closer to me and put an arm around my shoulders as if he was getting in position to protect me in case something went wrong. It seems he doesn’t trust that either Korosensei or Itona will keep to that rule, it’s good that he isn’t too trusting, even with Korosensei.

“No, for Korosensei to break a rule we all witnessed would damage our trust in him as a teacher. That kind of restriction works especially well with this guy.” Karma, the ever-vigilant genius, corrected Sugino. Honestly, Shiro knows a little too much about how Korosensei works, setting rules that everyone knows Korosensei can’t back down from or break. I don’t like this one bit. 

The weight of the anti-Korosensei knives and gun on my person suddenly feels like bowling balls, I don’t trust Itona who seems to follow Shiro words like he knows no better, I don’t trust Shiro who seems to know Korosensei too well for a first meeting, and I don’t trust Korosensei to be ready for whatever Itona and Shiro have in stock. 

If I’m right about the human experiment thing then Itona should have tentacles similar to Korosensei’s, and therefore a similar weakness. I’m obviously not going to interfere, that’s rude and will make it seem like I think that Korosensei is weak but I don’t think that. I have these weapons just in case Itona does have Korosensei’s tentacles and he breaks the only rule set in place. 

I’m also hoping for Korosensei to realize what I have and use it to his advantage since there isn’t any rule against that. 

Korosensei accepted the rule, his voice not portraying if he’s nervous or not.

“However, Itona, hurting the spectators will also result in a loss.” Korosensei placed his own rule down and Itona agreed without hesitation. Sugino’s grip on me didn’t lessen in the slightest.

“Very well. Start on my signal,” Shiro said, raising his hand and continuing. ‘Assassination… Begin!” He let his hand drop down fast and a flash of silver had cut one of Korosensei’s tentacles off.

Everyone gasped, even Korosensei seemed bothered by what Itona had, I wanted to yell out ‘I knew it!’ but I kept myself from doing it. Instead, I pulled one of my anti-Korosensei knives out, holding it close to my body and tensing my body. Now that I knew all of my plans revolving around Itona having tentacles weren’t for nothing, I wasn’t going to let any of them go to waste.

“Nagisa!” Both Sugino and Karma whisper-yelled, both of their eyes on the knife. Good, that should have alerted Korosensei.

I watched Korosensei’s head tilt in my direction, barely glancing at me. He most likely hoped that Itona wouldn’t look but I knew he probably would, though Korosnesei shouldn't worry, I wouldn’t show my weapon just to let an enemy take it. I smirked,  _ I wonder if anyone is gonna realize how different I’m acting, luckily I made sure nothing I planned would blow my cover. _ At most, Korosensei, Karasuma, Irina, and/or Karma will figure out there is more than meets the eye.

Korosensei was pissed but he was trying to keep himself from showing it, this whole thing is dangerous to Korosensei’s reputation with us. As Karma mentioned, we could all easily lose our trust with him if he does one  _ single _ thing wrong. 

“Where did you get those… tentacles?” I could hear how pissed off he was, and so could the majority of our class as well. The fact that someone else has tentacles is really off-putting to Korosensei.

“We’re not obliged to tell you that, Korosensei. But this ought to have convinced you: You have different parents and different upbringings, but you are nonetheless brothers. My what a scary face you’re making. Did you perhaps remember something unpleasant?” Shiro said, his voice showing how smug he really is about everything. In that one sentence, Shiro has dropped so many hints that I’m still scrambling to pick them up. Hopefully, I can trust Karma to help me remember everything said about both Korosensei and Itona’s past, and Shiro's connection to it all.

Korosensei regenerated his lost tentacle, at this point I was barely registering anything that wasn’t crucial to the tentacles but I know he said something and Shiro responded, flashing a purple light onto Korosensei.

“Exposure to this pressure ray at close range triggers dilatant behavior in your cells.” Itona attacked Korosensei with his tentacles and Korosensei just took it. “Your whole body stiffens instantly. We know everything. All of your weak points.” Shiro has now officially annoyed me. HOW does he know ‘everything’ on Korosensei!

Itona stopped his rain of tentacles and Terasaka pointed out that Korosensei has shed his skin to escape Itona. Shiro knows about Korosensei’s weakness with molting. Shiro knows about Korosensei’s weakness with regeneration.  _ Shiro knows all his weaknesses. _

Itona has cut off some more tentacles on Korosensei, leaving him on the floor trying to catch his breath. Korosensei regenerates and they walk in a circle, Korosensei’s back ends up in front of me and Itona goes to attack again. 

_ My anti-Korosensei knives are gone _

Itona’s tentacles get destroyed by the knives that Korosensei took from me. He drops his shed skin onto Itona and wraps him in it and flings him out the window.

I have a hard time keeping my giggles in, it sounds like I’m choking, and I’ve slumped onto the desk in front of me to keep myself up. Damn, this is hilarious, I can feel Sugino look at me weirdly. I feel bad since I missed the inspirational speech because I’m practically dead from laughter but I didn't miss the fact that Itona was shot down by Shiro when he launched himself at Korosensei. Or the fact that Shiro has anti-Korosensei clothes on, so there is a reason for those dreaded white rags.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out to check who it is, Sugino's arm lays loosely on my shoulders, it’s most likely to be Asano since I don’t really have any other friends who would be texting me right now.

‘ _ I’ve gone ahead to wait at the train station in case you’re just running late but I can’t help but worry. Are you ok? Why are you late? And next time, please alert me beforehand so I don't have to have a mini panic attack when you don’t come for over 5 minutes. _ ’ Wow, oops, don’t want to kill the guy. I’ll have to make sure, the poor thing’s been getting so worried because of me, he’ll get gray hairs soon.

I responded with ‘ _ Teacher held the class back, I’ll be on my way now, we just need to fix the desks. _ ’ It seemed to satisfy Asano because he sent back a simple ‘ _ Don’t be late _ ’

I smile at my phone, I’m truly lucky to have someone like Gakushu in my life, I put my phone back into my pocket but my smile never leaves my face. I think I never stop smiling till Korosensei mentions the fact that he’s going to destroy the Earth. I lose my smile pretty quickly after that.

Sugino stops me right at the top of the hill, putting his hands on my shoulders and holding me in place, He’s very tense. He searches my eyes for a bit, opening and closing his mouth, trying to form words. He sighs and takes a deep breath and nods to himself.

“Are you okay, Nagisa?”

I tilt my head, mouthing slowly  _ “What do you mean?” _

“I’m just asking, and I wanted to remind you that if you are being pushed around by anyone to not hesitate to tell me or any one of your many friends. You’re not alone anymore.”

I’m slightly put off by this, why is he saying this, did I do something? Did someone else put him up to this? Then, a single thought flies into my mind and my heart drops like a rock, my breath catches in my throat.

Suddenly, it feels like Sugino’s hands are too hot and are making me feel uncomfortable by how hot they are, his grip starts to feel too tight and it’s all too restricting. I can’t breathe and I can’t move and he’s going to find out and he’s going to hate me and he’s going to tell everyone else and their gonna hate me too and, oh god, IfeellikeI’mgoingtopassout-

_ Are they going to hurt Gakushu? _

Sugino said “If I’m being pushed around”, that means he thinks I’m being forced to be with Gakushu and to do Gakushu’s bidding. Like a pet. Like Gakushu is a bully. If Sugino tells the others then how will they react, I know fully that they are all capable of hurting Gakushu. And I know that Gakushu won’t harm them, he knows they're my friends, he’s too docile to hurt anyone he likes.

_ Flashes of when Karma would go around beating up delinquents come up to the surface, my mind immediately mimicking all of his moves that I remember even though I already know them. Karma could really hurt Gakushu. _

My mind clears and all of my acting from the day my father left Hiromi and me to the last time we had guests over kick in. I give a grateful and warm smile, before nodding my head gently like I truly appreciate what he’s doing for me. His grip loosens a bit and he smiles back, giving me a nod and patting my shoulder encouragingly. Once we were out of each other's sights I bolted down the path Asano and I always took and made it to the train station with 3 minutes left before the next train came. I searched the crowd for Asano and his noticeable hair before someone pounces on my back, arms wrapping around my neck loosely, and I’m pulled into their chest. Never once am I alarmed.

I melt into the warmth and look up to see Asano’s warm smile and relief filled eyes. I turn around in his arms to hug him back, giving one last tight squeeze before we let go of each other. The train ride is filled with Asano’s attempts at making me laugh and me trying my best not to laugh at how domestic this all seemed. 

No matter how weird this might look from an outsider's point of view, or from the point of view of fellow classmates, I would never give this up to appease them. This is my safe haven, this is my right after going through years of hell, and this is Asano right after going through the same. We deserve each other and I doubt either of us are ashamed at how much we need each other. 

We’ve been strong for too long and, during the little time we have together in person or on the phone, is our little getaway from our crushing realities. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma point two things out.
> 
> 1\. Asano and Nagisa realize how much they look like a couple and they have and will take advantage of it, they know what the other truly feels
> 
> 2\. Nagisa didn't feel scared or threatened when Asano hugged him unexpectedly because he someone knew it was Gakushu, like Nagisa just knew that it was him and there isn't really a solid reason why other than 'have you SEEN their relationship!!?'


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is still a good friend even if he's super suspicious of them.
> 
> Nagisa is also apparently crazy (not gonna lie he probably will become pretty insane.)
> 
> Baseball then not-quite-baseball- oh wait, when did we start playing murderball? (Not a real thing, though it sounds pretty cool)
> 
> Asano and Nagisa just show their love and appreciation for each other but everyone keeps getting in the freaking W A Y!  
> (All because of a freaking misunderstanding, learn from these vegetables and TALK, NEVER TRY TO AVOID THE SITUATION BECAUSE THAT WILL ONLY MAKE THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS EVEN WORSE.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a promise of one chapter per week but I always feel like I haven't given you guys enough. I'll check when was the time I sent out the last chapter only to see it hasn't even been a week. I'm procrastinating but I feel bad about it and I'm trying to give myself a sense of "oh shit, it's gonna be late if I don't do this now" to get my sorry butt working.

Walking with Karma and Sugino I would usually feel at ease, these two are super strong and everyone at the school knows not to mess with Karma so we usually are left alone. But, ever since Sugino approached me after seeing Asano and I text I’ve been on guard. I could care less if they reject me and lose trust in me and wish to no longer be friends with me, no, I only cared about Gakushu. I was ready to fight tooth and nail for Gakush and his pride and dignity, and I don’t only mean verbally.

For Gakushu, the one who knows me and understands me, I would fight all of my friends without hesitation.

We were passing by the baseball field and Sugino was called out by some of the members training there. At first it seemed like they simply wished to speak with a former member and ‘friend’ but quickly it dissolved into them easily bullying us for being in E-Class. Now, no matter how suspicious and guarded I am of Sugino he is still my friend and no one bullies my friends. Our classmates and I know how much Sugino misses being able to play baseball and compete in it, it really messed him up when he was brought to E-Class. Maybe that was why I befriended him so easily.

I made sure to stand back, keeping myself out of the view of Karma and Sugino, and openly glaring at the baseball team. Some of the members in the background took notice and started laughing to themselves, pointing at me vaguely. Their laughter caught the attention of more members and once I had gotten the attention of a good amount of the team members I released a good amount of killing intent. I watched them all pale and give a violent, full-body shiver, some turned away and others put some physical distance by backing away from me. 

I gave a maniacal grin, my eyes sharpening and a primal, predatorial, look showed itself behind my eyes. Basking in the feeling of being feared I counted this a job well done and walked away, quickly joined by Sugino and Karma once they were finished talking with the team captain.

* * *

As everything worried about going against the girl's basketball team and the boy's baseball team and the training to be had to make sure we win, I was told to sit aside with Bitch-sensei. We watched in silence as Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei trained the class, giving them strategies and going over the rules of the sports.

“You know, I wasn’t sure if I should ask this or not but I’ve gotten too curious, who taught you to use makeup?” Bitch-sensei said, breaking the comfortable silence we had with an out of the blue question. I turned to her and waited until she gave me her full attention.

‘I taught myself from some videos online. It’s been a while since I first started using makeup so I obviously got better with time.’ I answered honestly, knowing well that she understands body language and could figure out if I was lying or not. I’ve been debating whether or not to go to Bitch-sensei to help myself understand body language and how to work with it and around it to keep my true feelings hidden. I’ll probably give a half-truth in saying that I was interested in how she worked.

“Oh, your makeup is just so good, you have to understand why a girl like me would be interested.” She said, her voice getting a bit higher and sounding a bit more sultry. She’s trying to get me to tell her something else. “When did you start exactly?” There it is.

There isn’t a reason to lie and, as I mentioned before, even if I wanted to she would know. That and, with how feminine I am I doubt how young I was when I started makeup will be concerning.

‘About 7 years old, maybe 8. I don’t remember exactly when I started.’ Bitch-sensei just stared at me, her eyes wide and unbelieving. I tilt my head in confusion. That was that truth, if I really did it then how is it unbelievable. 

_This is why_ **_I have_ **_social_ ** _anxiety and_ **_trust **issues**. _

“That’s so young, why would you be trying makeup that young. Do you mean like that was when you started playing with your mother's makeup? Because I meant when you seriously started.” She was completely gobsmacked for some reason at the fact I was that young.

‘No, I never really played with makeup, my mother showed me my skin tone and which foundation and concealer to use and how to use them and left me to my own devices. I learned everything after that on my own.’ 

“Why would your mother show you how to seriously use makeup instead of giving you some colorful palettes and letting you have fun with it. Seriously, something just doesn’t seem right with being taught how to use foundation at such a young age.” Oh, okay, so it didn’t help to clarify. 

I hoped she would have dropped it as my mother being weird or me being just _really_ into makeup but no, she’s still going.

“Why though, what do you use makeup for anyway?” She leaned in closer, studying my face.

I hesitated for a second, freezing under her searching gaze.

‘I guess I enjoy it.’ That was such a bad lie I just wanted to knock myself out.

“Nagisa, wh-... Why would you lie about that? What other reason do you have to use makeup that- that you would try to hide?” Her voice got heavy with emotions I didn’t have time to understand. Her expression told me she was worried and concerned but her eyes showed she was sad.

Why was she tearing up?

_Why was she crying?_

**_Why would someone cry over me?_ **

I have a headache, I hiss at the rhythmic thumping in my head, each _thump_ bringing the pain. She flinches back, her eyes wide and worried overtaking her body language. She jumped to her feet and was stiffly searching the field ahead of us for, who I’m guessing, would be Korosensei. I launch myself forward grabbing at her arms to pull her back down, shushing her and stroking her arms with my thumbs. I slowly let go of her arms to start signing.

‘I’ve got some scars in places visible with the gym wear of this school. They bring bad memories and I wished to hide them, my mother helped me. After that it was because I truly just enjoyed applying makeup.’ Mostly truth with some lies sprinkled in there, she shouldn’t be able to find the lies no matter how good she is.

“Oh… Okay, Is that why you’re always the last one out?” Wow, she’s perceptive, she connected the dots real quick and easy. I have a newfound respect for her, not like I didn’t respect her before but this observation thing was my strong suit if anyone could throw you in for a loop it would be me. 

I gave her a sweet smile, playing innocently thankful. If I keep giving her the _innocent_ act then I can’t stray from it. Most of my classmates and teachers are given the innocent act, only my friends are given, more or less, my true self. 

The rest of the time was spent talking, _and signing_ , about makeup. That somehow dissolved into fashion and that turned into talking about celebrities, it ended on talking about hairstyles and how to properly take care of your hair.

Wait!! _Is this girl talk?!_

Damn it… There goes more of my masculinity, I need to hang around Terasaka more.

* * *

The strategy worked, although I was made sure to be in a good position so that I wouldn’t overwork myself and hurt myself. Even though Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei made sure that I couldn’t be in any way hurt from this they were still worried. Asano was told of what was going to happen and even he was freaking out, he kept insisting on him speaking with the principal to try and get me out of playing but, no matter how sweet it was of him, I wasn’t going to let my classmates, even more so my friends have to deal with this on their own.

The one thing I didn’t tell Asano was about Korosensei and how he was coaching us from the side. I couldn’t tell him and risk it being found out. Maybe, if Asano and I’s relationship is found out then I could maybe ask Karasuma-sensei if I could tell him. Hopefully, if the day ever comes then he won’t hate me for keeping such a secret. 

But, after today with _our_ kind of strategy, I believe I’ll have to explain _something_ to Asano. Showing our use of bloodlust and mixing it in with a simple game of baseball, I know for a fact Asano will be able to see what we’re doing. Living with _that man_ for all his life must have taught him something or other about _bloodlust_ and _killing intent_.

As everyone was celebrating overcoming the first challenge of this dangerous game, I shivered in fear as I watched the principal ‘talk’ with the coach. Just from afar I could understand what was about to go down, the principal - Gakushu’s horrible father - was going to _‘coach’_ the team. My eyes darted to where I knew Asano was watching and saw his well-hidden fearful look. I caught his attention and he gave me a worried look, his eyes constantly twitching between me and the principal.

I sucked in my breath and slowly let it out, my limbs shaking with the need to simultaneously punch Gakuho and hug Gakushu.

I flinched in disgust at that sentence, their names were too similar for me to say them in the same sentence. With that, I watched with unfocused eyes as everyone quickly went over the plan once more while I concentrated on finding a cute nickname to call Asano.

_Although I didn’t doubt he would let me call him whatever I wished I still worried that he wouldn’t like the nickname I came up with._

_So I came up with about five different ones._

They suddenly acted much more aggressively. Coming closer and making it impossible to bunt anything. The pitches were much faster and, as mentioned before, aggressive.

They weren’t playing baseball anymore, and now, neither of us was playing baseball. This was no longer a fun and competitive sport, this was a battle to the death.

Now that we switched, we were defensive. I was catcher, it was the position I could be in with the least amount of trouble. I was already used to catching Sugino’s pitches when we aimlessly threw a ball back and forth or when Sugiono wanted my help with practicing his pitches. All this to say, I was used to it and could take it.

It went without saying that we were going to get some trouble and, watching as the principal seemed to _hypnotize_ the pitcher, Shindo.

After a brief talk with Korosensei, Karma started to smack talk about both the team, the audience, and the principal.

_I had never loved him more in my life before that moment._

Damn it, I shake my head a bit hoping to come back to my senses. He **_left_ ** _me when I_ **_needed_** _him the_ **_most_ **, I shouldn’t - can’t - come crawling back.

Karma aggravated the crowd and talked about the scheming with the defenses and such, seems like it was successful since Korosensei was happy with the results. Maybe they were trying to bring to light the way that they placed their defenses? That could mean many things such as us replicating it, and if we do something similar to what they’re doing then we can’t be called out on since that would show the obvious favoritism.

We were doing bad and now we’re in the last stretch. It’s the baseball team’s turn on the offensive. They kept bunting the ball, they were giving us a taste of our own medicine.

Korosensei spoke with Karma and he came to us with new instructions, my earlier prediction showing a face with both Karma and Isogai within hitting range of the bat. Both Karma and Isogai are very agile and are good at dodging, they are the best for this little game they’re playing.

With some pushing from the principal, Shindo goes for his first swing, Isogai and Karma dodge it at the last second, getting just out of range. He’s shaken up.

I watch as Karma taunts Shindo once more, bringing forth a good amount of bloodlust, most likely trying to scare him. Shindo’s trembling, he can’t focus on actually hitting the ball anymore. At this point, Shindo could no longer physically keep up with the principal’s strategy. Both the runners and the crowd were overwhelmed by this bizarre spectacle masquerading as baseball. 

We won and the crowd was disappointed in the fact that their baseball team lost against us, E-Class. I found it amusing at how simple-minded they thought, no matter how intelligent they are school-wise they could have never even thought of the strategies used by Korosensei and the principal. Dangerous and risky strategies thrown about in hopes of one-upping the other. I turn to Sugino as I see him and Shindo speak together, they seem to have reconciled and become friends.

Sugino became friends with someone on the main campus and no one is batting an eye to it but will I get the same reaction to Asano and I’s friendship? If they freak out about my friendship with him then what would that mean? Would the reaction be bad since he’s part of The Big Five?

Bringing the equipment away I checked my phone after it buzzed. Asano has asked to meet up and, since it’s the end of the day, I’ll go straight to him. Once I finished putting away the equipment I disappeared from the class and out into the forest, I ran down the path that led to the main entrance path. Quickly reaching the end of the main pathway I found Asano waiting there, turning to me with a smile on his face.

“You okay?” I stopped mid-step and gave him my best _‘Really’_ look, facepalming, and groaning. I slumped my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, hanging off of him.

“I’m dead tired,” I said in a bored tone, my voice still kind of raspy and airy from lack of use.

“Alright, alright, how about we get something cold to drink to cool you down, huh?” Asano said, laughing a bit in the beginning. I let go of Asano and he linked our arms together, practically holding me up now that I didn’t want to use my legs anymore and he started dragging me off to wherever we were going to get our drinks.

“Nagisa?!” Said a familiar voice, tone panicked and cautious.

Asano and I froze up, giving each other a look that showed just how scared we both were.

“Nagisa, are you okay?!”

“Where are you going with Nagisa!?”

“Nagisa, it’s okay, we’re here for you.”

My body shook with absolute anger at my friends, _how dare they assume that Asano was going to hurt me or was taking advantage of me!_ I whip around, my other arm instantly linking with Asano’s as comfort, and glare at all my friends. My heated stare hovered over each and every one of them, studying their expressions. Karma, Rio, and Kayano are closer to me than the others, who seem more hesitant to get closer, especially after my angered stare.

“The hell you mad about!?” Terasaka said, stepping forward angrily but his friends are trying to hold him back. I stare at him unblinkingly, my protectiveness of my surrogate brother coming through my body language. Asano huddled behind me, crouching a bit to hide his taller body behind mine.

I slowly unhooked my arm with Asano’s, turning quickly to give him a reassuring smile and pulling him next to me, raising my hands and rushingly signing to him to translate for me. He gave a small nod.

“I don’t trust _him_ ,” she spits the ‘him’ out venomously, “ I’ll translate for you.” Rio finished, her glare made it’s way past me and was aimed at Asano. I glanced at him, he seemed so lost, like he didn't know what to do.

_He seemed like a child._

I brushed my hand against his and gave him another smile, mouthing _‘It’ll be alright’_.

I turned to Rio, making sure her gaze was on me before I raised my hands. Everyone seemed to be hyper-focused on my hands.

“I am honestly disappointed at how you reacted, jumping to the worst conclusion but from what! What jumped out at you that said ‘Oh! He must be bullying Nagisa!’” Rio translated truthfully.

“He was dragging you!” Kayano said, taking another step closer. Asano flinched away from her, I decided to play on that.

“Did anyone else just see that or am I going crazy? Asano Gakushu, the ones you fear might be bullying me, flinched away from a little girl smaller than me! How can any of you keep standing your ground when he is literally curled behind me in fear!” Rio said, her voice losing its power.

“We don’t know what he’s threatening you with! Nor do we know how good of an actor he is! He excels at everything else, might as well be an amazing actor too, right!” Karma said and, just because it was _him_ that said it, it hurt all the more. Asano gripped my shoulder, seeming like he can’t decide between pulling me behind him or hiding behind me. I pat the hand on my shoulder comfortingly. 

“I don’t know if I should think you’re stupid for saying that or if I should be pissed at what you said. All I know is that I’m hurt either way.” Rio translated, turning her gaze to Karma once I finished. Karma flinched away, looking down at the ground and stepping back a bit.

“Nagisa-....” Terasaka gave a frustrated cry, “ Look, you befriended me, I’m still surprised by that but you seemed to judge me the second we started talking and you got it right. I trust you and trust that you know how to pick yourself some good friends so I-I’ll... I’ll step back and let you be friends but I want to know, how long have you been friends?” Everyone whipped their heads to me, their stares were intense.

“About once Isogai, Maehara, Okuda, and Kanzaki had joined us for lunch, after that I was picked up by the principal since it was raining heavily. We spoke a bit and became friends, we meet after school all the time and walk to school together too.” Rio translated. Watching carefully I saw that Terasaka had backed down now that he had gotten the information he wanted. Okuda, Kanzaki, and Isogai seem alright with our friendship and Sugino and Maehara seem uncertain but they still back down.

Kayano, Karma, and Rio seem to be the only ones still against our friendship. Rio was going to say something when another voice rose above hers.

“I understand why you’re all against my friendship with Nagisa but understand that even if you are I will still continue to be friends with Nagisa. He is dear to me and I would never stop trying to get him back, I love him and I’m certain he loves me as well-” Asano was cut off by Karma.

“So you love him? He loves you too? Are you in a relationship then?” He seemed angered by the fact that Asano loved me, which I don’t understand why he would be.

“Relationship? I think you’ve misunderstood our love-”

“Then how do you love each other then!” Now Kayano was interrupting Asano.

“I was getting there…”

“And if Nagisa doesn’t agree with you then you have to leave him alone!” Rio said, taking a step closer to me like she was getting ready to grab me and drag me away from Asano.

“Alright, but I assure you our love is of the same kind.”

Karma, Kayano, and Rio gave him uncertain looks.

“Our relationship takes the form of brotherly love, our love is familial and a strong one at that. We are comfortable with each other and are okay with skinship and loving gestures such as hugs and holding hands, at least, I hope Nagisa feels the same way as well. It would make all of this very awkward since he enjoys getting the height from climbing onto my back. He also grabs my hands a lot.” Asano said, his voice kept even as he finally stood up for our friendship. And, I felt like that last part was aimed at me, I turned my gaze to him and gave him the smuggest look I can possibly conjure up.

Rio’s back straightens out, making her stand there stiffly. She let out a huff and her back slumped in defeat.

“Can’t argue with that, really. I love him like a brother too.” Rio said, a small smile making its way onto her face, she gave Asano a hesitant smile. He still smiled back much brighter, letting out a sigh of relief and hung his arms on my shoulders, bringing himself closer to me. I easily held the hands in front of me.

Kayano groaned in defeat, she gave an aggressive huff and turned to look at everyone.

“Fine, I can’t really stop you two from hanging out and I know, from personal experience, that Nagisa is exceptionally stubborn when he wants to be,” Kayano said, her voice starting out smaller before growing a bit more confident.

_She didn’t get that stubborn thing wrong though._

“Are you all really just going to let this go!” Karma said, raising his voice and glaring at everyone that stood down.

“Karma, just let it go, Asano isn’t going to hurt Nagisa, that much is obvious. They truly want to just be with each other.” Okuda said and Kanzaki came in to back her up.

“Yeah, they just want to be friends peacefully.”

Karma looked so torn, he stood there, his eyes hardening as he looked from Asano and me to the rest of our group behind or beside him. I gave a sad smile and walked out of Asano’s hug, he let me go easily knowing exactly what I was gonna do, I stood in front of Karma as he looked at me with hesitancy and uncertainty clear to me. I brightened my smile and raised my arms, waiting for a hug from him. 

His eyes softened and he gave a weak smile and went in for the hug. We pulled back and I gave him a grateful smile and skipped happily back to Asano, falling right into his comforting hug. I looked up at him and we gave each other the same look.

_We won them over!_

* * *

With my routine check-in from Ritsu I had finally gone to bed, phone in hand on a call with Asano. I was discussing the idea of giving him a nickname since his and his _‘fathers’_ names were so similar. He agreed to it wholeheartedly and he asked for a simple but cute nickname, I gave out the small nickname of “Shu”.

He loved it and so did I, he is now called Shu. And Shu wanted to give me a nickname but my name isn’t good for it so it was a futile effort. After getting off the phone and putting my phone away, I closed my eyes, and sleep came quickly.

* * *

I jolted awake, soaked in sweat, at the unholy time of 3:00 AM. my breath panicked and shallow. I tried to focus my breathing back to normal, I tried, I really did but there was something dark and heavy in the back of my mind, crawling it’s way to the front of my mind. Dread and fear rippled down my back in shivers, my limbs weak and shaking in the effort to keep my upper body lifted.

Something bad was going to happen today, and it was going to be big.

_Why can’t I catch a god damn break!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I didn't do the reactions to their friendship any justice but I really didn't know how to really do it so I made it more like they trust Nagisa enough to trust him to pick good friends.  
> (But we all know Asano is better than 'a good friend')
> 
> Seriously though, I'm sorry about the reactions, I hate it but have no clue as to how I should fix it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa reveals more of what his douchebags of classmates did (and maybe a little sumthin' sumthin' from the past)
> 
> Nagisa would have a dirty mouth but his 'Mother' taught him better (Though it never really stopped his thoughts)
> 
> Our little blueberry muffin is unfortunately underweight but at least he is aware of it
> 
> Nagisa is more than just a snake, he a snake-koala-hawk thing! (I really hope I never encounter this thing in the wild)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel horrible for not posting for so long but I, unfortunately, am a student and still have school. Our teachers are trying to get into the swing of things and because we are all very uncoordinated, they keep sending bunches of homework all due for one week and expecting us to do all of it.
> 
> I also had my first time with hatching chicks and it was very stressful. We didn't time it right at all so one day after the other they just kept popping out. I was even trying to keep count but stopped and gave up at like 15 or something. (We have 30 chicks in total)

Waking up is never easy, although the fear of what _she_ would do to me always made it easier to wake up, but today, waking up was made ten times harder after the abrupt and stressful awakening at three in the morning. Whatever had made my entire being jolt with _fear_ was not something I wished to confront, although I doubt I’ll walk away without meeting whatever it was. Be it something I do, something my friends do, something done to me or something done to my friends, I knew it was going to happen and it was bad.

I, somehow, managed to be simultaneously sluggish and hyper-aware. My muscles were flexed in preparation for the bad day and my mind was focused, everything in my head was moving faster than before but I had no problem understanding it. I took in my surroundings in a matter of seconds, eyes roving over everything and never leaving a corner unchecked, and my brain took it all in and understood what was there in even less time. I wasn't aware of how my body was doing it but I chalked it to it being high as hell on adrenaline, although it lasted very long so I doubted it was actually adrenaline.

Even with all of that going on my body posture was lazy and I barely realized that Shu had been talking with me until he snapped me out of my idle trance. No matter how alert my mind was, my body didn’t want to keep up with it, my head barely moving and leaving most of the scouting work to my eyes.

All of this worried Shu a lot and, even after I told him I just felt off, he walked me all the way to my path and left me to my friends.

“He was staring off into nothing and acted like he was still sleepy. I don’t know what’s wrong so I wanted to warn you guys so you can look out for Nagisa.” He spoke bravely, even with the glares being sent his way. He kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly before saying his goodbye, I made sure to be as awake as I could be during that and hug him back just as tight.

_I didn’t want him to feel like I didn’t care for him or that it was his fault because it’s not his fault and I love him to death, I have to keep making sure he knows so that he’ll never have a moment of doubt. He doesn’t deserve it._

After the warning Terasaka was surprisingly clingy, he had one arm around me at all times and even grabbed Karma’s chair just so I could sit next to him. Karma shrugged it off and sat on his desk. Korosensei was thrown off by the display, I think it was how Karma didn’t take the chance to have an argument with Terasaka, but he quickly adorned a fond smile at the sight of the whole thing. I knew he immediately realized that they were looking out for me for some reason, he gave a quiet chuckle and warned everyone that there were five minutes left before class started.

* * *

Their protectiveness wore off after a good bit into the day, we were one class away from P.E. when I realized that they were more focused on their work than on watching my behavior. I’m not saying it in a mean way, I’m actually glad they’ve focused on their work because they shouldn’t put me in front of their grades. If they started failing because I was their main point of focus then I would never forgive myself, nonetheless, I’m also glad because that means I don’t have to keep acting like I’m fine and can now let my body relax more. Just because I’m in the classroom and being taught stuff doesn’t mean that I let my guard down, even if Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei are here or nearby, doesn't mean that they can intervene in time. I trust their skills a lot, they’ve given me good reasons to, but I can never trust in another human- uh, I mean, being again.

_Shu is an obvious exception, his unique situation places us in the same boat and therefore the chance of him betraying me is less than anyone else. Maybe Korosensei is somewhere up there in the ‘Trusted’ list but I wouldn’t trust him as much as I do with Shu, and as much as I did with Karma._

* * *

P.E. comes quickly and I’m pitted against Okajima, who I have mentioned to be someone who isn’t mean to me- he isn’t exclusively nice to me but he doesn’t hate me or love me, I am another classmate that he respects, it’s a nice feeling. Okajima isn’t super strong and so wasn’t thought to be dangerous against me, he is very nice and always asks if I need a break- which I like a lot about him- and he is very vigilant with me. He freaked out once because I fell and momentarily hurt my wrist landing on it. He was very close to crying that day and all of my friends (at the time) were very amused, they knew it would take more than that to actually hurt me. From then on, Okajima was a prime candidate to be my partner and he didn’t mind. He thought it was very mean of the rest of his classmates for being so mean to me when they didn’t know me. 

_I was very surprised when he came and asked me about the rumors that were created around me since he didn’t want to think anything bad of me, he wanted my side of things and I was very delighted to hear that. I told him the truth and only the truth and we became sort of pals(?)_

I watched as Karasuma-sensei fought against Isogai and Maehara, the two fighters that compliment each other the best and are the ultimate duo. Okajima and I both were taking a break, I took the time to watch those two fight. They were so in sync that it made me shiver, with what I don’t exactly know, it was a different feeling. I know I’m proud of them but I am also excited to see them fight, their in sync-ness is so exhilarating to watch. 

_I wonder how I would do against those two in a fight? If I tried my best, would I win?_ The thought of it makes my mind race with all the possibilities, it makes my brain try it’s best to grasp at anything and everything I can get on those two and use it to my advantage should a fight break out. Okajima breaks my trance and he goes to switch his partner, I stand back and sit with Korosensei since I was only supposed to stay with Okajima for a bit, they fear I would overexert myself if I continued to switch partners.

* * *

Karasuma-sensei pairs me up with Masayoshi Kimura to go up against him for an evaluation of our skills. He is the best runner of the class, has exceptional knife work, and great mobility. Masayoshi pointedly glares at me and shuffles away, keeping his distance like I had some kind of plague. He’s one of the many that has heard a whole bunch of rumors regarding me and believes them all, most likely the made-up ones that revolve around my sexuality and the occasional interruption of a group of boys and myself being dragged back to class with ruffled clothing.

 _I hate that rumor the most, the many stories that say I seduced a bunch of dudes and brought them to the bathroom to ‘do stuff with’. I remember every time that group of boys would corner me to harass me, they switched some of the guys helping them and then spread rumors about me seducing them and whatnot._ _My arms and legs heat up at the thought of being held down again, a cloth gagging me if I started screaming, my clothes being removed. The obnoxious laughter and agonizing taunts, it rings in my head, it peels back curtains I never wanted open again._

**_It brings back memories I never wanted._ **

Masayoshi runs ahead of me and starts attacking Karasuma-sensei, I join in as a distraction, never going for the kill and only flickering in and out of Karasuma-sensei’s vision. His eyes will drift to me if I get closer or if he loses me, I’m only there to distract and induce the stress. My smaller body easily flits around, weaving between swings and dancing in the corner of Karasuma-sensei's vision. Occasionally, I swing at him and I swing close, the closer I am the more focus I will have. He will focus on my knife and me and lose track of where Masayoshi is.

Masayoshi and I have been dancing longer than I want and I’m starting to get bored and impatient. Korosensei has brought out a snack and I want to sit with him and crunch down on some candy. I quickly make my way behind Karasuma-sensei And go to attack, my sleepiness and impatience make me hasty with my ‘kill’. I lose control of my bloodlust and Karasuma-sensei stiffens, I rush to make my attack before he can turn around and block me but stop myself. 

If I make it, what will people think? Should I just let myself be taken down? That would probably be for the best since it can be brushed off as luck, although, unfortunately, my bloodlust will not be forgotten, what’s done is done. I’ve attacked and was too reckless, may this be a lesson for myself.

Karasuma-sensei flips me and I land painfully on the ground, the wind is knocked out of me and I gasp for air for a second or two. Sugino and Rio have already made their way to me and are helping me sit up, rubbing me back, and keeping my back straight to help with breathing. Karasuma-sensei rushes over and apologizes for being rough, helping me stand and making sure I was fine. I brush them off and silence their worries by giving them a bright smile. I forgive Karasuma-sensei, who looks very awkward and out of his element, and tell him it wasn’t his fault. 

With that done and over with I make my way to Korosensei and sit down with him, he hands me back my notebook and pencil and I reach for his candy. All is calm once again and I force Korosensei to let me eat his candy without a fuss with the whole ‘I’m an innocent student that was just injured, having sweets will make me all better!’

* * *

The feelings back, it followed _him_ , it was _him_ . I can tell, everything about _him_ is… wrong, unnatural. I can tell what _he_ is doing, food is a universal way to get someone's trust, be it human or otherwise, even Korosensei. He’s trying to gain our trust, he’s the butcher fattening up his little piggies. He’s also taking over P.E. since Karasuma-sensei has so much on his plate. Now he’s going around calling himself dad, I hate it. He’s acting and, no matter which way you look at it, he’s doing a pretty good job at it. I hate this, I hate _him_.

* * *

The next day comes rolling around like any other day, I woke up at three in the morning again but was more awake and less sluggish than yesterday. Shu was very thankful, He kept hugging me and asking if I was okay and what was wrong yesterday. I love him to the moon and back but really, he’s more like an overbearing mother than a brother - _not like I’d know what an overbearing mother really acts like anyway_.

P.E. came and I was not a happy camper, I was soaked with annoyance and frustration. Everyone was giving me weird looks as they all got dressed for P.E. and I sat waiting for them to finish. Sugino and Isogai even came up to me and asked what was wrong and I was completely honest, I don’t believe in lying to friends without a valid reason. They were surprised by the fact that I was very distrustful of the new P.E. teacher, I didn’t elaborate but did ask them to tell Takaoka-sensei that I will be out soon.

P.E. starts off with a rather warm environment, students are joking with Takaoka-sensei and everyone, besides myself, is very relaxed. I have my sight trained on Takaoka-sensei’s eyes, ‘the gateway to the soul’, my specialty is very heavily reliant on my ability to read people and their moods and emotions. 

I can tell if people enjoy a certain ‘Me’ or if I should change how I act around them, normally barely changing anything and only adding subtle things that’ll make the person enjoy ‘Me’ more. Think of it as a collection of different ‘Me’s, every ‘Me’ is represented by a mask, and every mask is designated for a single person or a group of people. With new people, such as Takaoka-sensei, I have to gage which mask he’ll like most out of me. If he dislikes it or if I gain new information and realize a change in a certain aspect of the mask is required for them to like me more, then I make a whole new section and mask for that specific person. 

My library of masks is from day to day interactions, always changing and getting better, growing in size and quantity. If I have a large assortment then I have more of a chance to get closer to someone on the first few interactions, I can get friends or charm people much faster. I normally only do this to people I barely know and don’t really want to know or don’t care for, on rare occasions, it’s for people I don't want knowing _me_.

A sudden rush of bloodlust from inside of the building makes my back stiffen slightly, my eyes quickly go back to Takaoka-sensei to see him watching me, he saw my reaction to the bloodlust that he most probably felt as well, he is a seasoned veteran like Karasuma-sensei.

“Now then, with your new training regimen comes a new schedule!” Takaoka-sensei said, presenting a paper that had no free time and had ten periods, most of the time was filled with P.E. He either enjoys P.E. a bit too much or he’s training us, mere amateur children, that were thrown into this new life like he would soldiers who have been training as intensely up until this moment.

I heard the mutter of discontent and surprise at the insane schedule, ‘training till nine at night’ was exclaimed and more whispers broke out. They were all silenced by Takaoka-sensei.

“But of course! Following this curriculum will boost your abilities by leaps and bounds! Let’s get to work-!”

“Hey, wait a minute! This is impossible! With so little time for learning, our grades’ll plummet! And what about free time? We can’t do this-” Maehara stood up and protested the schedule, saying all of our complaints before being interrupted with a hand on his head. I jolt myself to my feet and I see Takaoka smile wickedly and knowingly at me before kneeing Maehara in the gut.

“‘We can’t’ nothing. You _will_.” Takaoka says, letting go of his grip on Maehara’s hair, letting him drop and curl up in pain, The position reminds me of myself and I can’t stand seeing someone other than myself like that, no less one of my few friends. I rushed forward but Isogai was already there, I hung back and crouched but never sat back down, my distrust rolling off my in heaps. I can see Terasaka stare at me from behind, his expression easily revealing that he wants to know how I knew that Takaoka wasn’t trustworthy. I wave him off and return my attention fully to Takaoka.

“It’s like I said: we’re a family, and I’m the dad. Show me a family that doesn’t do as the dad says.” I wanted to scream ‘My family!’ but I quell the urge with ease, “If you want to sit out, sit out. I’ll use my authority to bring in new students to replace you. But I don’t want to have to do that. After all, you’re my precious family. A father doesn’t want to lose even a single one of his children. Let’s save the world together, kids-as a family!”

Takaoka crouched down and hung his arms around Mimura and Kanzaki, they both looked extremely uncomfortable. I twisted my body to be facing Takaoka, my legs stiffening in their crouch. My stance was similar to that of a feline getting ready to jump on their prey, it’s not far off but it would be to protect Kanzaki-and Mimura- from Takaoka.

“Well? You’re coming along with your old dad, right?” Takaoka said, more directed to Kanzaki. She got up and Takaoka followed.

“Well… I, um… I don’t want to. I’d rather have Karasuma-sensei’s class” Her declaration was quickly followed up with a slap to the face, courtesy of Takaoka. She, without much exaggeration, went flying. I rushed after her, glaring at Takaoka while I passed him. Kneeling beside Kanzaki, with Sugino hot on my heels, Sugino checks the cheek she’s cradling and I help her sit up.

“Seems you still don’t understand. The only answer is ‘yes’. If that’s a problem, we can talk it out with our fists. That’s one of your old dad’s specialties!”

“Takaoka, stop!” Karasuma-sensei said, rushing over to Kanzaki to make sure she was ok, she said she was fine. He looked back and asked if Maehara was ok, he said he was fine as well, maybe a little winded.

“I’m going easy on them, Karasuma. After all, they’re my family.”

“No, They’re not your family. They’re my students. And just what have you been up to while my back was turned?” Korosensei was literally red with anger, his eyes shining a deadly red that promised pain.

“Got a problem, monster?” I flinched violently, “ P.E. is _my_ class to run. And these punishments fall well within the bounds of education. I don’t have much time to train yup these assassins to kill you. Of course, I need to be tough on them.” _This is not education, this is assault, bastard!_ “ What’s your problem? Just because your views on education differs, is that any reason to attack a man who never did you any harm.” _You did us all harm with your existence, creep, get your ugly mug outta here!_

* * *

Three hundred squats, that’s what he wants from us, three hundred. _Bet the big-bellied bastard can’t even count that high._ I keep my thoughts to myself.

“Are you okay, Nagisa?” Kayano whispers, leaning closer to me but ultimately leaning back when it makes it harder. I give her a nod and a small smile, it quickly turns into a wince and a shaky breath. I look around to distract myself, letting my mind run free and the thoughts come crashing down. I can see multiple people about to break and some who are only starting to fatigue. I focus on Kurahashi, who I believe is the closest to breaking. I was correct when she stopped to call out to Karasuma-sensei, most of us are probably thinking about groveling at the man's feet just so we can have him back.

“Hey, now. Karasuma’s not part of our family. Punishment time. This is what happens to kids who don’t rely on their dad alone!” Takaoka goes for a punch, winding his arm back, and just seconds after going in for the hit, Karasuma-sensei stops him.

“That’s enough. If you want to get violent, get violent with me.” 

“I figured it was about time you stuck your nose in, Karasuma. It’s like I said; this isn't violence, it’s education. I don’t want to engage with you through violence. If we _do_ face-off, it’ll be as teachers. Choose the best student you trained, Karasuma. They can fight me, and if their knife so much as touches me, I’ll concede that your style of education is better than mine and take my leave. But we won’t be using these old things. Your target will be me, a human being, so naturally, you’ll need a real knife.” Takaoka said, displaying the knife that will be used by impaling an anti-Korosensei knife with it. _Damn, he’s serious and crazy, seriously crazy._ He’s making a demonstration out of whoever Karasuma-sensei picks and he knows that I’m probably the only student that's realized what's about to go down.

“A real knife?! Enough! They’re neither trained nor prepared to kill a human!” Karasuma-sensei says, fear and panic just barely coming through in his voice. I’ve never seen Karasuma-sensei this shaken up before, he really cares about us, he just doesn’t show it.

“Relax, stopping before contact will still count as a hit. And I'm bare-handed. What more handicap do you want? Well, Karasuma? Pick one! It’s that, or obey me unconditionally!“ Takaoka is obviously going to win, we are barely trained and have never used a knife before, we’ve also never tried to assassinate something other than Korosensei. He’s human and the similarity between Takaoka and every other human is what will make every single one of my classmates hesitate.

Takaoka probably always uses this kind of underhanded tactic to train rookies or recruits, he beats one until they’re barely conscious and uses them as a means to gain the loyalty of the others through fear. To Takaoka, we are nothing but another batch of amateurs he was asked to train, why switch training habits if it always worked so well. Takaoka won’t treat us any differently even though we are younger and obviously weaker than the others he’s probably trained. 

I stare at Karasuma-sensei, his eyes hover over everyone but get caught in mine the second our gazes meet. I try to tell Karasuma-sensei through our locked gaze that I want to do this, that I will do this, that he should pick me and that I would never forgive him if he put any of my other classmates- friend or otherwise- through this. I glared straight at him and by the, although minuscule, flinch I’m hoping he understood exactly what I was trying to express.

He gives a small and hesitant nod in my direction and walks forward, standing right in front of me. I continued my glare, our staring match only ended by him poking my chest with the handle of the knife. I grab the knife and my eyes travel to behind Karasuma-sensei, watching his surprise. The surprised gasp and cries of ‘Why him!’ make me smirk.

“As someone who charged you with an assassination mission to save the Earth, I consider you all professionals. As such, I believe the least you deserve in return is the guarantee of a normal junior-high life. So you don’t have to take this knife if you _really_ don’t want to.” He stressed the ‘really’, worry flashing in his eyes, ”I’ll make every effort to have Takaoka continue to provide you what you’re owed. “ I took the knife without hesitation, the worry in his eyes grew but ultimately disappeared behind pride. I was taken aback, why was he proud? Was he proud of... me? My me? I stare longer and suddenly, my heart feels like it’s about to explode. My eyes mist up and I look away, willing my heart to stop being so _damn warm_.

“Your eyes must be going bad, Karasuma,” Takaoka said, taunting either one of us or both of us. I look back and see Bitch-sensei and Korosensei talking, most likely confused as well as to why I was chosen. I don’t dwell on it.

“Do you need any coaching or do you have this?” Karasuma-sensei asks and I can’t help the swell of my warm heart, he actually thinks I might not need help which means he probably believes in me. I wave him off and give him a quick smile and turn back to Takaoka, studying his body type even more and watching his movements like a hawk. 

We both get into our positions and I can see glee shine like insanity in his eyes, or maybe that _was_ insanity? It could be both. Looking at the situation, I need to get closer no matter what, I can’t throw the knife since I don’t know if he’ll count that or if I’m any good at throwing a knife. If I get close, then it’s his territory and I’m most likely doomed the second I’m close enough, he has more experience which I lack. The best option would be to dance around him, but no, if he knows I’m light on my feet and can move quickly then he will change his position and strategy to suit that. Once I’m closer but still far enough to be safe from his reach, I’ll start to dance around, quickly get behind him, and then, with his body type, it’ll be hard to turn around to quickly grab me. I can go for the kill.

**_Right for the neck. Bleeding out and choking on his blood, his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he writhed on the ground, gasping in blood and coughing out his last breath._ **

I smile innocently as I finally let all of my accumulated Bloodlust for everything he’s done come rushing out, it bursts out of me and makes everyone stiffen. Takaoka stares at me with confusion, the rest I can’t make out, he's become guarded. He’s finally taking me a bit more seriously. I walk to him, still giving off the newbie ‘I can’t believe I’m holding a _real_ knife and going to attack a _human_!’ The one he expects all of his ‘students’ to have when going against him like this. He loosens his stance a bit, taking the bait easily.

For a professional, he fell a bit too quickly for the false innocent act I normally put on, even with the Bloodlust and Killer Intent bleeding out of me. He’s surprisingly and worryingly naive to what I’m doing but, I mean, he isn't an assassin, he’s a soldier, a fighter. He’s used to guns on guns and knives on knives, macho v. macho. No ‘underhanded tricks’ that take up an assassin's whole arsenal.

I’ve gotten close enough, I crouch slightly and push myself to the side, staying low to the ground and forcing Takaoka to bring his eyes down to focus on me. I rush around him silently, using the momentum to throw myself at the back of his neck. I reach my arm out to grab it and place my knife there but he’s suddenly farther away. I bring myself down again and put distance between us, he’s already whirled around to face me. I stand back up, my mind racing for another strategy.

 _He knows that much about my go-to fighting style. He will now judge everything I do with the minimal information he gathered from that one attack. I can work with this, I can work with this. God dammit, I can’t work with thi-... Oh, Got it_ _~_

I rush forward, directing a lot more Bloodlust to Takaoka, and going straight for him. He smiles and licks his lips, his arms flexing before reaching to grab me. I dodge that hand and use it as leverage, lifting my underweight body up and throwing it at Takaoka, legs first. I hook one leg on his shoulder and use that to bring myself higher up onto him, hooking my other leg on the same shoulder. He stumbles back, my weight bringing him off balance. I lean over his head and bring more weight behind him, making sure he doesn’t balance himself. Takaoka trips and I bring one of my legs over and push myself to the side of Takaoka. We both hit the ground, him on his back and me on my feet. I simply walked over to Takaoka, who looked like he had gone into shock and tapped the back of the blade on his neck.

I look at Karasuma-sensei and see some kind of fear, it seems like he’s realized that I’ve got some kind of talent for what he’s teaching us to do. From the confusion on his face, it seems he might be second-guessing teaching me, that means he either doesn’t know whether or not to cultivate my talent or he’s already realized my talent and that I know, myself, of this talent. Korosensei comes up behind me and takes the knife away.

“That’s enough. We have a winner, Karasuma-sensei. Honestly, what were you thinking, giving a real knife to a student? What if he hurt himself?” Korosensei said, eating up the knife. My little group of friends crowded around me and fussed about me, congratulating me on winning and asking if I was okay. I shiver and suddenly feel very tired and light-headed, I look past my friends to see a very deadly glare from Hinata Okano and I could easily guess why. She must have realized that what I did was stolen from gymnastics, I just added a bit more assassination and there you have it, Okano’s whole arsenal. 

She used her flexibility and athleticism from being in gymnastics to attack and distract her opponent. Now I didn’t do that exactly, I did kind of ‘distract’ Takaoka using gymnastics and the fact that my underweight and smaller body could easily climb someone like Takaoka like a jungle gym, _which I did_ , I didn't use something Okano herself used. 

That and Hiromi wanted me in gymnastics when I was younger, she had to pull me out once she and my father started fighting more and the threat of a divorce hung over them. Hiromi wouldn’t have the money to keep me in gymnastics and school, so she kept me in gymnastics until school started. 

I can’t give much credit to Okano since I did use what I remember and still do to this day, as if I would ever let my flexibility and little amount of lean muscles go to waste. I practice routine things every day with what I remember from gymnastics and my surroundings. Using trees and children's playgrounds after dark to literally hang around and keep my body in shape.

While everyone was celebrating, Takaoka stood back up and turned to me, his face red with anger. 

“You brat… How dare you turn on your father figure and laugh it up over some fluke victory! I demand a rematch! I’ll bend you in half!”

The rest of my classmates had backed away from him but all my friends stood in front of me. They protected me, shielded me. But even if they tried, his anger field eyes still reached mine, and I didn’t mind. I gave him a sweet and innocent smile, but my eyes sharpened and showed that if he tried anything funny, I would kick his ass into next week. I’m pretty sure that angered him a bit- I mean- a lot more and he rushed us, but I wasn’t worried for myself or my friends. Karasuma-sensei came in and elbowed his jaw, knocking on his back.

“I apologize for the trouble caused by my colleague. Don’t worry, leave this to me. I’ll negotiate with my superiors to resume my teaching position.” Everyone, besides myself, cried out ‘Karasuma-sensei, in joy and relief at not having to deal with Takaoka anymore.

“You think I’ll let you get one over on me like that? I’ll negotiate with them first and-”

“There’s no need to negotiate.” Shivers ran down my exhausted body, the principal was here, “I was curious to see our newest teacher in action and ended up watching the whole thing. Takaoka-sensei, your lesson was a joke. Yes, fear is a must in education. But a teacher who can only instill fear through violence is a teacher of the lowest order indeed.” Takaoka tried to protest but the principal stuffed papers into his mouth, " Your dismissal notice. The Ministry of Defence has no hiring rights here. I call the shots at this place. And don’t you forget it.”

Once he left, and Takaoka stormed out in a hissy fit, I fell onto Sugino in exhaustion. Giving a silent but exaggerated sigh. Looking over, I could see all the students talking with Karasuma-sensei and then proceeding to drag him off. I clap to get everyone’s attention and give them a big smile.

‘You should go with them and have some fun!’

“But what about you?” Sugino said.

“Yeah, you did all of the work anyway!” Rio exclaimed, grabbing my shoulder and giving it a light shake.

‘I’m fine, my mother wouldn’t let me go out anyway, she’s very strict that way. That and I’ve been spending less and less time with Asano so we were going to hang out anyway.’

“Okay, don’t overexert yourself-” Okuda was cut off very rudely.

“You hanging out with Asano?! Why would you choose that over being with us?!” Kayano said, her jealousy and anger very prominent in her voice.

‘Because we don’t get hours of time together every week and can only see each other after and before school? We really want to spend more time but we both have…. _strict_ parents.’

“Kayano, it’s fine, he wants to spend time with Asano and that’s fine. We do have full school days together, so let Asano have Nagisa after school.” Isogai said, prince charming coming in and saving the day.

“Fine! But know that I’m very unhappy about this!” She said and, I really don’t wanna say it or even think it but, that was very petty. Nonetheless, I smile at her and bow gratefully, Terasaka immediately grabs the back of my uniform and brings my body up out of the bow.

* * *

Shu and I made our way to our new unofficial hang out spot, the shop hat we first went to get our boba teas at. We literally just called it _Boba place_ or _Tea place_ , we go there before going home all the time- on days that we can- and just chat. We’ve become regulars at this point and know some of the staff members by name, especially the ones who know sign language, even just a minimal amount of it.

By the end of the day, I was drained. I barely listened to whatever my mother had to say and didn’t even have dinner. I was happy to finally go to bed and not wake up at whatever o'clock in the morning for god knows what, I was so tired I almost forgot to remove my makeup and change into my nightwear. The bed was calling my name and I wasn’t saying no to that.

_I was barely awake for the nightly routine of Ritsu’s check-in followed by Shu’s check-in. They both realized how tired I was and shortened the check-ins._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too uncreative and lazy and tired to make up a name for the place they go to.
> 
> (Also, sorry but this was very rushed since one the week started upon again I would be bombarded with homework and I wanted this out quickly. I will probably update mostly on the weekend or around Friday since I've hunkered down to do little bits of it every day. I might also just sit for hours on end after lunch and just write a whole chapter in one sitting.)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say besides sorry? Honestly, hate myself for not uploading for so long, so I thought that a longer chapter might make it up to everyone, I went a little overboard with the 'longer' but hopefully, you all will enjoy it anyway.
> 
> I'll try to get back on schedule, there was just a lot of chaos with the weird summer filled with new things like hatching chicks and raising them, the heat makes us focus on our coop animals outside to make sure they're fine, then the babysitting thing which takes a lot out of me and my time to write.
> 
> And the heat is really messing with me, it makes me feel tired and sleepy but, like usual, I can't sleep, so I just always feel extra tired and now I've got the eyebags to show. (They're pretty impressive, I must say)

I watched and listened as all of my classmates complained about how hot it was and Korosensei was going on and on about the heatwave we were having. I don’t relate to them, I am too skinny to create body heat and so the heat is pretty welcome to me, although it does get outrageous sometimes but then I just take off my vest and roll up my sleeves a little. Korosensei was bringing us into the forest, although he never explained why, and he told us to wear our swimsuits.

_I silently thanked Shu for getting me extra makeup to put into my bag, I wasn’t expecting to have to wear shorts and so I didn’t cover some of the scars on my thighs._

Karma walked up to me and ended up next to me, he looked like he wanted to say something but was hesitating. He looked at me with his brows furrowed a bit and it makes me wonder what he’s thinking about, the only way I’ll know is if I encourage him to tell me so I give him a patient smile. 

“Hey, Nagisa. I hear you really knocked ‘em dead the other day.” Oh, he’s talking about Takaoka. “I sure wish I could’ve seen that assassination of yours.” He gives me an easy smirk but I’ve been watching him for too long not to be able to see his true feelings. Forcing him to speak is like trying to move a stubborn bull, you have to know how to gently coax it just the right way, unfortunately, this bull changes which coaxing method to use on him very frequently. He’s always been unpredictable but I can’t really change that, just learn to predict his unpredictability. That doesn’t make sense... Oh well.

I nod at him and give him an excited smile, I want him to know that I was excited that I could beat my prey. Positive feelings normally help others feel like they want to continue the conversation, either on a different topic or not. He gives me a nod then his smirk falls, he heaves out a big sigh and puts his hand on my shoulder, gripping it hard before relaxing his hold and rubbing my shoulder. He’s really struggling to get out what he wants to say.

‘I’m guessing you’re not going to swim, right?’ Karma signs, switching so suddenly that it took me a while to understand he was signing to me. I understand he probably doesn’t want others to intrude on our conversation so I sign closer to my body and more subtly like he did.

‘Yeah, I’ll probably sit by the edge, or if someone else isn’t going in the pool, that I’m friends with, then I might stick with them.’ I answer truthfully, even if I do better in sweltering heat I still get hot, although water is normally way colder to me than to others - _who aren’t emaciated like me_ \- I can still stand being in it, just not as long. Then there’s the fact that my torso has so many scars and bruises that I normally just gloss over it when putting on makeup in the morning. I do occasionally put some in places where shirts could lift to reveal or something like that but I didn’t have the time today since I didn’t want to keep them all waiting outside in the heat for me to change into my swimwear.

‘Terasaka didn’t change so I don’t think he’ll be going in, you could probably ask him if he wouldn't mind hanging out with you. I doubt he’ll say no, he’s surprisingly protective of you, especially for someone that was doing what everyone else was.’ Karma signs, his eyes wandering over to where Terasaka is.

‘You shouldn’t judge him, Karma. He and I had a heart to heart and I believe that we now both know each other better, I love and trust him as much as my other friends.’ I sign quickly, feeling exposed for letting my feelings out in front of my other classmates, but I force myself to finish signing to help Karma understand that I truly do trust him.

Karma hums and nods his head a bit, and we walk in silence, Korosensei stops suddenly and points to some bushes behind him. Kayano, who was in front of me, and I both push the bushes back and gasp at the beautiful scenery. We walk through and I hear the others exclaim their surprise, I get close to the water and start to walk the perimeter, ending at a barricade of cement that was most likely put here by Korosensei to stop the water from running down to the river like a waterfall. 

I hear some splashes and look back to see most of my classmates jumping into the water, Kayano walking gently into the shallow end with a floaty. I smile at everyone having fun and feel Korosensei walk behind me.

“You’re not going in?” I could hear some concern in his voice, I guess it makes me happy to know that some people are concerned for me.

I turn to Korosensei to sign to him, ‘No, Karma had pointed out that Terasaka doesn’t have his swimsuit on and so I’m probably going to stick with him.’ I turn back to the pool and all of my classmates splash around and easily find Terasaka higher up, watching everyone with an expression that I couldn’t decipher but knew it meant something bad. I gesture to him and Korosensei pats my head before climbing onto his seat, blowing his whistle like a lifeguard.

I start making my way to where Terasaka is but he suddenly walks off, he seems a bit mad. I stand in spot and hesitate, second-guessing everything I know about Terasaka in a mere millisecond before walking _briskly_ over to the ledge Terasaka was standing on. _I felt Korosensei watch me very carefully from his highchair, I had an odd feeling it wasn’t to make sure I didn’t run._

I hop up and grab onto the ledge, hoisting myself up and getting one knee up before my hands slip. Some water must have been splashed up onto the rise, probably from people kicking their feet when swimming back to the shallow end. I hear gasps and the beginning screams of my name, _as well as Korosensei’s chair clatter, probably onto the ground_. I use the leg that wasn’t raised onto the ledge to push off the rocks and get farther away from the edge, I didn’t want to hit the wall and potentially get myself a nasty concussion, might even drown from that but I doubt it, I knew someone would help me. 

_Even if my classmates hate me, they wouldn’t just let me die, they’re not that mean, they have morals and they understand what's right and what's wrong._

When I pushed off, I used the leg that was on the ledge, pushing off, to twist me and I effortlessly arched my body to dive in perfectly. Simultaneously cursing, since I hate everything she’s done for me even when it helps me, and thanking my mother for forcing me to learn how to swim and correcting my dives and strokes ‘til they were perfect. 

_I foggily remember almost drowning more than once because my mother was stubborn and thought that the only way I could learn how to swim like a fish was if I had a good understanding of what would happen if I don’t know how to swim or wasn’t good at swimming._

_She even started holding me under the water or keeping me from resting once I got better at understanding my limits, saying stuff like “Currents won’t stop even if you are tired!” and “Do you think waves care if you’re out of breath or not!?” I’ve grown to be a great swimmer and flourish in water, it had become my element, but I can’t really ‘flourish’ if I was scared of it. I never step foot into water if I could help it, and with all the abuse scars, it just gives me even more reason._

I had swum all the way to the shallows using the momentum from my dive, before popping up right in front of Korosensei’s highchair. I get out and look blankly at the water running from my clothing to the ground, although the shorts are swim shorts, the top isn’t meant to be used as a swim shirt. That and, taking off my top meant showing the scars that I didn’t bother hiding, and because I _really_ don’t want to do that, I just slowly stumble my way towards the bushes we came from. I ignored the concerned calls from my friends and brushed off Korosensei’s hand- I mean, tentacle.

I stiffly walked back and went to change back into my uniform and dry off in the sun and wait for the others to finish swimming. I’m given some concern from others but overall, everything was normal and I gratefully managed to keep my hands from shaking too much as the panic of being in the water, and around _strangers_ , sets in and the fear of being held under the water and being forced to swim in the deep end until I practically drown from exhaustion comes illogically crashing through my mind.

\---------------------------------------------

School finishes and I get to squeeze Shu’s hand as he reassures me that that’ll never happen on our way back home. He somehow managed to calm me down enough to be able to converse with some of the waiters as we waited for our drinks, I had to actually talk to him since I couldn’t sign with my hands shaking so violently.

\---------------------------------------------

We all watched as Yoshida freaked out over the motorcycle that Korosensei had carved, but I was more worried over where Terasaka and Muramatsu went. Terasaka seemed to be distancing himself from even his friend group, I wouldn’t worry as much if he was just distancing from my group or even just myself, I could understand if he wanted to stop being friends with some freak like me, but distancing from his close friend group was too worrying for me to sit still.

The door to the classroom slammed open and Terasaka walked in, my heart thumped loudly and painfully when I saw that he was alone, and he froze at the scene in front of him. He stood, wide eyes and all, at the fact that Yoshida was gushing over Korosensei and the motorcycle. I, and probably most of the class, couldn’t understand what they were talking about so we just marveled at the fact Korosensei could even sculpt something so life-like so quickly.

“The hell are you doing, Yoshida?” Terasaka squeezed out, his face pinching up into a weird expression.

“Oh, uh, hey, Terasaka! The two of us were talking motorcycles the other day, since no one else in school is into the.” Yoshida explained, a pained expression on his face the entire time.

“Not only am I a grown-up, I am also a man among men. I’ve been known to dabble in this kind of hobby. Plus, this baby can hit three hundred kilometers an hour. What I wouldn’t give to ride the real thing one day!” Korosensei said, getting off the fake motorcycle and taking off his helmet, changing into his normal clothing at Mach speed. 

“You kidding? It’d be faster just to pick it up and fly!” Yoshida jokes, the class and himself all laughing, well, most of the class. I didn’t focus on what they were saying and instead watched Terasaka throughout the entire interaction.

It was obvious how much he hated this, his facial expression told me he was most likely having an internal battle with himself. He was debating what to do, although the debate didn’t last long since he strode up to the sculpted motorcycle and kicked it down. Everyone gasped in horror and Korosensei dramatically started crying.

I walked up to Korosensei and patted his back in hopes that it would bring him some comfort, not like I was really worried, he was a grown man(?) and had the talent and speed to sculpt a new and maybe even better one in seconds. Although, since I knew Korosensei was fine, I really only walked up to him to get closer to Terasaka without seeming obvious.

Everyone started yelling at Terasaka for doing what he did, I walked away from them since I can’t handle yelling, and walked off to stand next to Karma since he was the calmest.

“You guys are just buzzing like a bunch of bugs… Time for an extermination!” Terasaka pulled out a can of bug spray and threw it onto the ground, it busted open and sprayed everyone with it, filling up the classroom with its contents.

I grasped onto Karma and tried to hold my breath, although, not going to lie, my lungs aren’t the best. If I ever get sick, it always targets my lungs and so it’s obvious I have weaker lungs. I knew inhaling the bug spray could be very dangerous but I wasn’t expecting it so I didn’t have enough air to hold my breath, Karma knew this.

_He once helped me when I had gotten very sick and Hiromi forced me to go to school anyway, it turned out I had Bronchitis and it had gotten so bad that I was in the beginning stages of Pneumonia. He recognized the symptoms and brought me to the school nurse just in case he was wrong, they tried their best to confirm it but ended up calling an ambulance anyway to come and bring me to the hospital._

_That day, Hiromi realized it would be better to keep me home and get me better right away instead of just hoping it's a cold or something easily fought off without medical attention and send me to school anyway._

Karma pushed me against the wall and pressed a corner of his blazer up against my mouth, trying his best to block the bug spray from reaching me, I tugged at my sleeves and put them over his blazer. I heard the telltale sound of Korosensei moving around at inhuman speeds and suddenly the bug spray had filtered out of the room through the newly opened windows. Even without the visible cloud of bug spray Karma still kept his blazer up against my mouth for a little bit longer, even though I had put down my arms and hoped I didn’t ruin my sleeves by pulling on them so hard.

“Terasaka! Pranks are pranks, but this is going too-” Korosensei started, putting an angry, red tentacle on Terasaka’s shoulder.

“Don’t touch me, monster. You’re beyond creepy, and so are all of you, getting pulled into being all buddy-buddy with a monster!” Terasaka finished, although I now knew the reason for a lot of his weird actions it still didn't make the worry disappear, if anything, the familiar feeling of ‘something bad’s about to happen’ accompanied the worry. And now I suddenly had a major headache. Karma had moved away from me some time during Terasaka’s speech, and his eyes told me he didn’t like how Terasaka was acting at all.

“What’s got you so bothered hmm? If you don’t like it, just kill him.” I flinched when he said ‘kill’ although it was more of a twitch, “You’re allowed to do that here, after all.”

“You trying to start something? Fine by me! From day one, you’ve been-” Terasaka angrily took a step forward and I mentally prayed for him, flashes of what Karma would do to bullies zoomed through my head.

“Now, now, Terasaka.” Karma had grabbed Terasaka’s face, his palm over Terasaka’s mouth, “If you want to fight, actions speak louder than words.” Karma’s threatening voice made my muscles clench up, my arms drifting closer to my chest, ready to protect myself. I could see the fear in Terasaka’s eyes and I hoped that he would realize he should stop picking fights with Karma. 

“Lemme go!” Terasaka smacks Karma’s hand away from his face, “ Buncha losers.” And with that, Terasaka slammed the classroom door closed agained.

“What’s with him?” Maehara said to no one in particular.

“Does he have to stir things up?” Isogai said, exasperated.

I didn’t stick around to listen to what the others had to say, I didn’t want to know their opinions of him, they didn’t know what was going on with him and so I will stick with him, he’s still my friend. So I unclenched my body and quickly walked over to the door to hopefully follow Terasaka and make sure he’s okay. As I pass Korosensei, he pulls out a whiteboard and marker from somewhere and hands them to me. I bowed quickly as a ‘thank you’ and kept walking forward, breaking out into a light jog once I gently closed the classroom door behind me. Murmuring erupts from the classroom as I walk away from it.

Once I know no one from the class can see me I run at a tree and scale it, quickly throwing my arms out and grabbing onto a branch and hauling myself onto it. It may not look the most graceful, grace comes with practice, right now I’m only doing it for effectivity and speed. I jump from one branch to another, look around with the height advantage. I easily see Terasaka wandering around, I decide to stay with him for a while, until he returns and I know nothing bad will happen.

Me following him so easily actually worries me, it’s obvious that ever Korosensei came, as well as someone who works for the government and an assassin, that people will be targeting us. Hopefully leaving our families out of this and even only really attacking us when we’re in school. Assassins from around the globe will come and try killing Korosensei, the reward money is just too tempting for anyone to refuse the offer. I mindlessly follow Terasaka and think about all the different ways an assassin could possibly find their way into our school and attack my classmates and potentially kill them. My paranoia takes a good part of my thought process.

I stop my paranoid thoughts after something catches my eye, Terasaka has stopped in front of a stream, _the stream obviously going into the pool Korosensei made for us_ , and he just sat there for a bit. He was acting strangely. I quietly debated talking to him or making a plan to understand what was going on with him, but I believe he might need someone to talk to. Nodding to myself, I pull my phone out and Ritsu pops up right after I open it. I whisper to her to tell the class, mainly Korosensei, where I am and that I’ll be back after I make sure Terasaka is alright. She nods and holds up a sign that says ‘alright!’ while giving me thumbs up with her other hand.

I give her a quick smile and put my phone away, turning to Terasaka and slowly lowering myself from the branch, not really caring if I make a lot of noise. I’m hanging off the branch, my arms wrapped around the branch are the only thing keeping me above the ground, and he whips around to stare at me with wide eyes. I stare back and freeze still, it takes a couple of seconds before Terasaka makes a weird sound and jumps up, panic evident, rushing over to me as he keeps muttering worriedly “Nagisa”. He gets close to me and goes to wrap his arms around my legs before stopping abruptly and bringing his arms back to his sides.

“Nagisa, is it alright that I help you get down? I will be holding you, mainly around your legs, but I want your confirmation.” I let a sincere smile make its way onto my face, his worry for me is too much, my heart hurting even more than when he burst through the classroom door. I give him an exaggerated nod and he gives me a slight smile back.

He gets his arms around my legs, his arms wrapping around just above my kneecap, and his hands going to grip my thighs securely. I let go of the branch, immediately gripping onto his shoulders and arms, and he lowered me to the ground, holding me steady by my shoulders once I was back to standing on the ground. He backed away once he was sure I was ok and secure and he dropped his hands to his sides.

We both sat down and “spoke”- _I wrote but that’s beside the point_ \- and he confided that he really didn’t trust Korosensei and wanted his friends to understand that too but he would come on differently and get mad and they would ignore him. Even going as far as tearing up when he admitted how much he hated that he yelled at them, that he’s pushing them away because of his intense distrust of Korosensei. I tried my best to consult him and just be there for him, not calling his opinion stupid or fighting him even though I did trust Korosensei. On our way back to the classroom, I pointed out that the best thing to do would be to apologize and tell them your opinion, if you fall out with your friends because of different opinions then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Although I knew they would respect his opinion I still wanted to make sure he realizes that it isn’t his fault if there’s a small chance they stop being friends because of their trust of Korosensei. 

\--------------------------------------

On my way down the hill with my friends I can’t help but search for Terasaka, it takes me a second but I see him talking further down the hill with his friends, all laughing and smiling and joking around. I go to let the warming in my heart bring a genuine smile to my face but all the warmth turns ice-cold once I realized that Terasaka was nervous, he was hesitant. He was pushing them away and hesitating to let them back in, _something_ was wrong. I feel negative emotions rush up and try to show themselves on my face, the amount of emotions make my eyes water. I shut them down quickly, effectively keeping my face emotionless and keeping my cold and lifeless gaze on Terasaka’s back, monitoring him.

\---------------------------------

Once Shu’s done with our daily check-up, Ritsu pops up on my phone and is about to go ever her daily questionnaire before I call her gently.

“Yes, Nagisa?” Ritsu tilts her head, waiting patiently for me to build up the confidence to speak and even more confidence to demand something of someone else without being able to give them something in return.

“I, uh… Terasaka, he, um, I think somethings going on with… him or something.” I take a deep breath and lift my head bravely before continuing with more confidence. “I want you to monitor him, keep watch if he moves from his house at night or something, I think he might have a plan but I don’t trust it.” 

Ritsu nods her head and gives me a thumbs up and she disappears from my phone, so I put it down and get comfortable. I try my best to sleep around the uncomfortable nagging of dread and that stupid feeling that hasn’t left me since the whole ‘Terasaka tantrum’ happened. 

_Karma gave the name._

_I don’t like it, it’s not nice._

\----------------------------------------------

_He came back in the middle of the night, that much I've been told by Ritsu, I even came early so she could show me where he went exactly. Turns out it was the same place that we sat down to talk at. But that's beside the problem..._

Korosensei was leaking _something_ everywhere, although he told us it was’ just allergies’ it seemed like more than allergies, maybe because of his weird boy his allergies act up in different ways. I don’t know, this is all so weird and confusing, even Terasaka, who is absent, was acting weird. It’s all too confusing and now I have a headache.

We were all eating in peace, I can’t really say in peace since everyone was pretty much off-put by Korosensei’s runny nose, but the “peace” was broken when the classroom door slammed open and in came Terasaka.

“Oh, Terasaka! I was worried you wouldn’t come in today!” Korosensei exclaimed while flying over to Terasaka at the door, his snot flying all over the place. 

“Hey, octopus. It’s time we killed you for real. Come to the pool after class. After all, I hear water’s your weakness.” I didn’t like the look in Terasaka’s eyes. This wasn’t the Terasaka that came up to me and apologized for all of his wrongdoings, this isn’t the Terasaka that was overprotective and that the rest of his friends would poke fun at the fact that he acted like an older brother. No, this wasn’t _our_ Terasaka, this was someone else’s, and I have a feeling we will be meeting who’s pulling Terasaka’s strings sooner rather than later.

“You all come help! I’ll knock him into the water for you!” Terasaka finished, he was brimming with confidence that felt like it didn’t belong to him.

“You haven’t helped with anyone else’s assassination, Terasaka. And now you’re ordering us around when it suits you? You really think anyone’s gonna jump at the chance to help you?” Maehara stood up, he seemed fed up with all of Terasaka’s nonsense but I didn’t like the tone he used while saying all of that. It wasn’t nice, we don’t know what’s going on with him.

“Like I give a damn either way. Hell, I’d be happy to have the ten billion dollar prize all to myself. “ Terasaka said, his confidence never once swayed or lessened. He walked out and everyone started talking again.

“What’s his deal?” Yoshida said.

“I can’t keep up!” Muramatsu said, once more, throwing an exasperated look at the door Tersaka walked out of. 

At least they were both concerned. I would hate it if everyone was against him, like I keep saying, we have no clue what’s going on with him. At least try and get it out of him why he’s acting weird. Anyway, I hope he’s feeling okay after the whole class kind of said that they weren’t going to help him. I rushed out after him, hearing people exclaim from inside the classroom as I rushed out to go and find Terasaka. 

I ran up to him and pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. He turned around and I pulled out the whiteboard and marker that Korosensei let me keep, and started to write what I wanted to say on it.

‘Are you really going to kill him?’ I turned it around so Terasaka could read it.

“Well, of course, I am.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He still didn’t feel like my Terasaka, I didn’t like this Terasaka, I didn’t _trust_ this Terasaka.

‘Then maybe you should tell everyone your plan of action.’ I write down quickly and a bit sloppily. Whipping it around for Terasaka to read.

“Shut up!” I stared wide-eyed at Terasaka, my hands shaking a bit as I brought the whiteboard closer to my chest. “ It ain’t like you got a vision for _really_ killing him! But I’m not like the rest of you. I got a vision for killing him, all right. Easy as pie!” He pushed me away from him- more like nudged a little roughly- but froze as he stared at his hand like it had a mind of its own, before stomping off to who-knows-where.

He is confident in his plan, that much is obvious, so confident enough that he doesn’t believe that he’ll need anyone from the class to help, but he isn’t confident in himself. Even his words sounded like someone else’s. The disjointedness of it all was unsettling and annoyingly confusing. Another painful and everlasting headache and I don’t want to waste Korosesnei’s time asking him to get me some. I sign out in frustration and pain, my friend group alone is taking years off my life with the stress they’re making me go through, imagine if I had the entire class as friends.

_My heart squeezed painfully at the fact that I knew they would never want to be my friend, that the only reason to befriend me would be for a joke, a prank, they would all betray me, one after the other, and show me how truly alone I am in this cruel world._

\----------------------------------

Everyone was in their swimwear and in the pool, Terasaka commanded everyone from a ledge.

“Yeah, there we go! Everyone spread out in the pool, just like that!”

“Who does he think he is?” Kataoka said to her nearby classmates in the water, no one disagreed.

“I have my doubts about this. Do you even have what it takes to make another person swim?” 

“Hey, Takebayashi, shut up and get in!” Terasaka then proceeded to kick Takebayashi in, I moved farther into the forest, hiding behind a tree trunk.

“Terasaka has turned downright tyrannical,” Kimura said, not hiding his hate of the situation one bit.

“Just like he was back in the first and second year,” Mimura said in response to Kimura, looking kind of concerned for Terasaka. I was thankful that others were also concerned.

“Ah, I see. You’ll knock me into the water and have everyone stab me, yes?” Korosensei said, coming out of the forest and peeking in on Terasaka’s plan. “Then tell me; how do you plan to do so? That pistol won’t make me move a single step.”

Terasaka seemed to think for a second before pointing it right at Korosensei, “You ready for this, monster?”

“Of course I am. My nose has even stopped running.” Korosensei “helpfully” added in, my face scrunched up in disgust at the thought of _all that snot!_

“I’ve always hated you. Wanted more than anything for you to disappear.”

“Yes, I know. After this assassination, we’ll have a nice, long talk.” Korosensei’s face suddenly had green stripes, representing his mood easily.

Terasaka pulled the trigger and instead of a bullet, something flashed red inside of the barrel. Not even a second after, something flashed red near the wall put up by Korosensei and I got it immediately.

A bomb, the wall was going to blow and everyone would be swept away by the stream, the waterfall will carry down the students and if Korosensei doesn’t save them, they’ll most likely die. But, even though water is his weakness, he’ll still save his students and then he’ll have to fight… Terasaka? No, that doesn’t make sense. Even with the effect that water has on Korosensei, Terasaka alone won’t be able to take down Korosensei and I doubt any of the other students would want to fight _with_ Terasaka after he does something like this, as well as the other stuff he pulled before. So, he was obviously used but by wh-

The wall exploded and everyone was brought towards the waterfall, not a single person was able to fight the current. Korosensei flew in after his students and went to bring them all to safety.

I saw Terasaka shake and mumble stuff to himself, he may be mean to others but even he wouldn’t do something to hurt his classmates. He knows what’s good and what's bad, he knows how far is too far. He wasn’t the mastermind, and I rack my brain for anyone who could possibly be smart enough to do this. I’ve made my way over to Terasaka as I thought of who it could be, or if it was anyone I would know.

Terasaka looked at me with a pale face and shaky hands, he was panicked, he needed to calm down before I could try and get some answers from him. I grab the gun from his hands and let it drop to the ground, I grab his shaky and sweaty hands and slowly link our fingers together. I brought myself down to the ground and sat down with my legs crossed, Terasaka followed but got down much more clumsily. I let go of his arms and scooted myself closer to him, reaching for his shoulders and wrapping my arms around him, and I proceeded to rock both myself and Terasaka side to side.

I heard rustling from behind me and out came Karma, who most likely ran all the way here after hearing the huge explosion. With Karma here, it seemed to have snapped Terasaka enough out of his panic to at least talk.

“I… I didn’t do anything! It ain’t like what he said. I was supposed to get Itona over here and push him in.” Terasaka mumbled out, Karma listening from over my shoulder.

So it was the most likely suspect, Shiro knew of Korosensei’s weakness to water when _we_ just learnt of it recently, so he could have probably had way more time thinking of a way to use water to assassinate Korosensei than us, who had just figured it out days ago. It’s so obvious now that I think about it, and now I know that Itona’s the one to fight him now that he’s weakened and slowed down by the water.

“Oh, I get it. It wasn’t _your_ plan. You were just being strung along.” Karma said, he was obviously trying to make Terasaka realize what he did and make him feel extra bad about it.

Terasaka got out of my grip and stood up, rushing to Karma and grabbing his blazer, I got up as well to make sure these two didn’t start brawling while our classmates and teacher were about to be killed.

“Look, I’m telling ya, it’s not my fault!” Denial, the poor things probably feeling things he’s never felt before. I understand him to a degree, since I’ve been feeling these kinds of things since I was young. “Blame the guy who put me up to it! He’s the reason everyone got taken for a ride!” Karma was done with Terasaka’s nonsense and he punched him right in the face, I rushed over to Terasaka and made sure he didn’t hit his head or anything and help him sit up.

“ _You’re_ the one who got taken for a ride. If you’ve got time to point fingers, try using it to figure out what you want to do here.” And Karma jogged off into the forest, most likely to try and help our classmates. I went to follow Karma but hesitated and looked back at Terasaka. He looked so lost and confused and _guilty_ , so I whistled to catch his attention and give him a, hopefully, encouraging smile before running after Karma, trying to catch up. 

\----------------------------

We watch as Itona attacks Korosensei viciously, my eyes trying and, unsettlingly, succeeding in following every strike Itona lands on Korosensei, hell, I could follow their entire battle. My eyes have gotten used to trying its best to follow creatures that could go up to Mach 20.

“Did it really take that little water to neutralize him?” Kataoka said, peering closer to the edge to get a better look at the fight.

“It ain’t just water,” Terasaka said, walking up and to the front of the group from everyone to see. “He can’t go all-out ‘cause he just got finished saving you all. See, look above him there.

With Hara about to fall, everyone exclaimed their worries and concerns while I focused on the guilt that was probably eating Terasaka up right now. I patted his pat gently and gave him a reassuring smile, hopefully, he understands that I’ll stand by him. 

“Wait a second… Don’t tell me _they_ roped you into doing all this!” Isogai asked.

“That’s right. Shortsighted guys like me with no vision and no goals are doomed to be played by smart guys like them. But you know… at least let me pick who gets to pull my strings. I’ve had it up to here with those jokers, and I sure don’t like the idea of them walking off with the prize.” _So he IS money crazed too! … I don’t know if that’s good or not,_ “So, Karma… why don’t _you_ try controlling me? Give me a strategy, fresh out of that shrewd noggin of yours! I’ll pull it off perfectly and save all of them!” _Whoa there, buddy, that’s pretty heroic of you, and stupid. You've practically straight out said that you hate Karma with how you act, and now you give him the ability to subtly kill you off in an attempt to save our classmates?_

“Fine by me, but can you even handle one of my plans?” Karma grabbed Terasaka’s shirt and pulled his hand through, unbuttoning it all the way, “It might be the death of you.” _Wait… Wait, I was joking!--_

“Oh, I’ll do it, all right. I’m the perpetrator who gets results.” _I’m surrounded by idiots, god damnit!-_

Terasaka jumped down and screamed, “Hey!” to get their attention.

“Terasaka?” Shiro asked all innocent-like, ... creep.

“You tricked me good!” Terasaka said, letting his anger show in his voice.

“Don’t get so upset. All you did was get your classmates in trouble. Perfect for a fellow who didn’t fit into the E Class like you.” Shiro said calmly.

“Shut up! I ain’t going to forgive you for what you did!” Terasaka then proceeded to take off his shirt and run closer to Itona, “Itona! Your and me, one on one!”

“Stop that, Terasaka! He’s not someone you can win against!” Korosensei yelled out, worry evident. That's not a good weakness to show your enemies.

“Stay outta this, octopuff!” Yeah, you tell him. _Note the heavy sarcasm_ , is this the best Terasaka can come up with?

Shiro laughed at Terasaka, seemingly amused by what Terasaka was trying to do. “What a hero. Shut him up, Itona.” Ok, I was joking around before but this is getting serious.

I grab onto Karma’s sleeve and tug it aggressively, hoping that Karma will get why I’m doing this.

“It’s alright. Shiro’s not out to kill us students. And it’s precisely because we’re alive that Korosensei's attention is divided. Even Hara might look like she’s in trouble, but Itona’s attacks won’t be aimed at her. It’s like I told Terasaka; he’ll hit you with a tentacle hard enough to knock you out, but that’s as fast and as powerful as it’ll get, so hold on for dear life.”

Karma, everything you just said did _not_ relieve me of my worry, he’s still going to be hurt either way. What if they see him as a real threat after?

“You held up well!” Shiro’s voice drew my attention away from berating Karma in my head, “All right, Itona, give him another.” Itona drew in his tentacle, which still had Terasaka’s shirt on it, and sneezed like a cute kitten. I would’ve giggled but I was surrounded by people who _didn’t_ _know,_ so I shook to show that I was laughing instead.

Karma seemed to understand it ‘cause he just ruffled my hair and said, “See, you knew exactly what I was doing, so there’s no need to worry.” I simply nodded while everyone else was voicing their confusion.

“Terasaka’s still wearing his shirt from yesterday. Which means it got a direct hit at point-blank range from whatever was in that weird spray. That’s sure to have an effect on Itona. So, with that opening in his defenses… our octopus has a chance to rescue Hara.” Karma motioned for everyone to go, they got it right away and got into position.

“Yoshida! Muramatsu! Gimme a real big one!” Terasaka, exclaimed while crouching down and splashing with his hand. They happily went to jump down.

“His weak points are the same as Korosensei’s, right? So all we have to do is give him a taste of his own medicine.” and in went everyone, besides myself, since I stuck with Karma, jumping down into the water and making big splashes, they had created a circle around Itona and continued to splash him, his tentacles puffed up and everyone stopped splashing. Karma had scaled down to a rise in the stream that was out of the water, he had helped me down and he then crouched, watching in amusement as surprise overtook itona’s face.

“You’ve absorbed a lot, I see. Your advantage is dwindling. So what now? We don’t want you to claim the prize money, for one. Plus, your plans almost got us all killed, and Terasaka got all beat up in the process. If you were to keep going, we’re gonna have a hardcore splash party.” Karma explained carefully, staring straight at Shiro challengingly.

“Well, you got us. We withdraw. If we were to slaughter all these children, who knows how his antimatter organs would run amok. Let’s go, Itona.” Shiro said calmly, but, no matter how calm _he_ is, Itona is obviously taking the loss pretty badly.

“Well? didn’t you have fun with everyone? Why not join us for real this time?” Korosensei said, still trying to bring Itona into his care.

“Itona,” called Shiro.

The simple call snapped Itona out of his thoughts and he jumped up to meet with Shiro and they left, pretty anticlimactic if you ask me.

“We managed to drive them off.” Sugino sighed in relief.

“Good thing we saved your life, eh, Korosensei?” Okano said, tilting her head slightly towards Korosensei to see his reactions.

“Oh, I certainly appreciate it. I still had some tricks up my sleeve, though.”

“That reminds me, Terasaka…” The mood flushed away instantly, “You said some pretty harsh things about me back there, as I recall. So I’m heavy, am I? Fat?” Hara said from behind  
Terasaka.

“I-I was just objectively analyzing the situation at hand!” Terasaka tried to explain nervously.

“Keep your excuses! I’ll show you what an assassin-trained “fatty” can do!” Hara gestured with her hands aggressively. She had backed Terasaka up flush to the rise that Karma and I were on.

“You really are tactless, Terasaka. No wonder you let people take advantage of you.” Karma teased, his condescending tone making Terasaka mad.

“Shut it, Karma! You don’t get to sit up there talking down at me!” Terasaka then reached up, grabbed Karma’s collar and pulled him off the rock and into the water, back first. Karma jumped back immediately to talk back to Terasaka. 

“Is this how you treat your boss?”

“My boss? Ha! What kind of boss would make someone take a tentacle on the chin? For a world-class slacker, you sure scored a pretty sweet part in all of this!”

Rio and Kataoka came up behind Terasaka to back him up.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Kataoka said.

“Why not take this chance to sling a little mud?” Rio said mischievously.

After she said that Maehara ran at Karma’s back and grabbed one of his arms while Rio came up and grabbed the other and they both pushed him down into the water.

Korosensei appeared right next to my on the rock, looking down at scuffle happening in amusement, “Terasaka’s not cut out for putting together plans form on high. His strengths come through where he’s out in the field. He makes himself and others shine with his physical might and the ability to get things done. I look forward to seeing him grow into an action-squad assassin.” We watch as Terasaka and Karma go at it, both of them having huge smiles on their faces.

Terasaka’s pretty violent but he’s adjusted well to our class. We didn’t show it, but Karma and I- all of us, really- were pretty happy about that. So happy that _they_ all overlooked it. Bigger than water; Korosensei’s greatest weak point of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and force myself to sit down and write at least another chapter right after this one, although I might start tomorrow, just to make up for the hiatus of sorts. Hopefully, you all can forgive me for not uploading in a long time.


	16. Chapter 16

The finals are coming quick and everyone is nervous, even with Korosensei trying his best we can’t help but be nervous. Although everyone might be worried about how well they’re going to do on the exams, I’m more worried about how well I can handle my mother this year. Every year, for both midterms and finals, but mainly finals, my mother is in a permanent bad mood and is easily tipped over the edge.

For the next week before the finals I have to treat my own house, the place I am supposed to feel the safest and protected in, like a minefield. Any and all interactions with my mother is like juggling knives and swallowing swords, I am no longer able to treat her as my mother but more like my kidnapper- no, like a corrupt god. Her word is law and I can’t ask for anything if it doesn’t include me studying for the exams.

Anyway, this doesn’t bother me or change anything, really, I can still hang out with Shu after school since Hiromi knows he’s smart. Shu is known for being a genius and the principal's son, he’s obviously the one to go to if you want to study and Hiromi knows that, I think that's one of the reasons why she likes to see me hang out with Shu.  _ Not saying Karma isn’t smart or a bad friend but it’s hard to see him so often at school, I don’t think my mentality and feelings could handle seeing him outside of school, besides the occasional group hangout Rio and Kayano plan. _

The only thing that has changed for me, outside of everyone studying like crazy, is how stressed out Shu is. My situation is pretty hard but imagine Shu’s, since the only thing Principal Asano really wants out of Shu is for him to become a genius like his father, so the exams must be so stressful for Shu. And, because of the exams, Shu can’t hang out as often, obviously we work around it but it still sucks we can’t see each other as often because of our  _ unique _ parents. Even then, I don’t believe they really mind us hanging out because now, whenever we do hang out, it’s for studying and the occasional chat about life.

At this point, he must be so tired of helping others study that I sometimes purposefully cut our study session short or just outright cancel them and tell him to rest or take naps. I can’t help Shu with anything for the finals but I can try and help him get his well-earned rest and relaxation. It’s not like I don’t want to hang out with Shu but it’s more that I love him too much to let him continue to force himself to help me when he obviously needed more help. So, that’s why I’ve canceled today’s study session and instead, I accepted the invitation from Isogai for the E Class study session in the main campus library after school.

* * *

As we were all sitting at a table and studying we were approached by a group of boys who I instantly recognized as the members of the Big Five, Shu complains about them from time to time and he gave me a quick rundown of how they look.  _ I was a little worried because Shu wasn’t with them and he normally is, where could he be? I hope he’s fine. _

“Well, if it isn’t the E Class gang! This library is wasted on the likes of you. Pearls before swine, am I right?” Teppei Araki said, _ oh god, I hate how I know his name. _

“Beat it, scrubs. Those are our seats. Move your butts!” Whatever His Name Is said.

Kayano stood up in rage(?), “H-Hey! Don’t interrupt our studying!” As she said that, the cover book fell off to reveal the book she was actually reading.

“These seats are ours! We reserved them and everything!” Isogai said.

“Yeah! And being able to study with air conditioning like this is simply heavenly!” Rio said with a satisfied tone of voice, a small smile made its way onto my face at her antics.

“Have you forgotten? You E Class underachievers can’t defy a class with much better grades than you- not in this school.” Natsuhiko Koyama said, ew I know his name too!

“W-We can too!” Okuda bravely stood up.

“What?” Koyama said dumbly, haha, Big Five my as-

“We’re aiming for the top scores in every subject at finals! Let’s see you try to boss us around then!”

“D-Don’t talk back to me, you cheeky bitch!” Whoa, family-friendly- Oh, who am I kidding, we literally call one of our teachers Bitch, “And what’s with those glasses? You look like a hick! Right, Araki?” God, are you sure you’re part of the Big Five, I thought they were supposed to be smart and yet you just insulted yourself, even your friend caught that. Idiot.

“In all your criticism, you’ve overlooked something. See? Here we have a pearl among the swine. What a pity. You and I would make a magnificent pair, if only you had the academic chops for it. Perhaps you could be our servant.” What a damn pervert, she’s obviously uncomfortable.

“I get it. So you’re not entirely without academic skill- in one subject, anyway.” Koyama said and I could feel condescending from here.

“Then how about this? Whichever of our two classes snags the most top rankings over the five key subjects gets to make the losing class do whatever they want.” Araki said.

I heard footsteps walk behind me and a hand touches my shoulder, they then rested their entire forearm on my back, from one shoulder to the other. I tense up and clench my fists, I could feel my nails pierce my skin and blood starting to climb out of my crescent-shaped wounds.

“What’s wrong? Chicken? All bark and no bite? We’re perfectly willing to put our lives on the line.” At that I felt everyone shift all in unison, I couldn’t keep my Bloodlust locked away and let it slither out, coiling around my arm as I grab a pencil and snap my hand right under Tomoya Seo’s chin, the pencil’s tip resting right against his skin. My Bloodlust inches away from squeezing his heart and instead is resting its fang on Seo’s throat, poised to bite.

One glance around and I could see that everyone else reacted the same way I did, I could also feel all of their Bloodlust. Although I kept mine under control and targeting a singular person, they don’t have as much training as I do with controlling these kinds of things.

As they all moved away from us I raised my hands to sign, making sure everyone could see my hands, ‘You probably shouldn’t be so quick to bet your lives.’ Isogai voiced what I said as I signed it.

“A-All right, then! We have ourselves a deal!” Seo said, obviously intimidated.

“We’ll show you something  _ worse _ than death!” Koyama said,

“There’s no running now!” Ren Sakakibara said like they all planned this

“You’ll regret this!” Koyama yelled out as his final words before retreating.

As they ran and everyone else in the library sat in awe at what just happened, I had two things on my mind. First, how was Shu going to react to this, and secondly, I wonder how quickly the rumors will spread. I know first hand how quickly rumors can move from one person to another.

* * *

Walking to school Shu was unusually quiet, he normally took up any chance he had to get me to talk so I didn't lose my voice but today he looked so lost in his own thoughts. He also keeps glancing at me like he has something to ask before shaking his head a little or shaking his fist and looking away and going back to staring out into the abyss. It took five minutes of standing quietly on the train before I was annoyed at whatever was happening right now.

“Al-...Alright! I’ve h-had enough!” I say, my voice was raspy and unused. 

“Had enough of what?” Shu said slowly like he was trying not to let his thoughts out as he spoke.

“Enough of-... W-Whatever it is that you're doing!” I stammer out, not completely sure how to voice my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Y-you have something to say and you’re not s-saying it! Shu, you t-trust me… right?” I said, hesitantly, I don’t understand why but for some reason, I feared the answer.

“Nagisa, of course, I trust you, it's just... I don’t know if I should ask it or not.” Shu sounded so conflicted, his brows were furrowed like he was deep in thought.

“If you trust me so m-much then just tell me, do you r-really think I would be mad at you f-for something you asked?”

“No, you wouldn’t, but I feel like what I’m about to ask you is classified or something.” I tensed at the word ‘classified’ and I knew Shu saw it, “Nagisa…?”

“Asano, what is it you have to ask me?” The emotion in my voice was making it even raspier and it even took on a kind of wispy end to every word. I could see that Asano was taken aback by my use of his name and not his nickname.

“Nagisa-”

“Asano, you need to tell me.” At this point, I couldn’t talk normally anymore and I had to whisper just to keep this a verbal conversation.

Asano took in a deep breath before he hesitantly reached his hand out to grab my own, he fiddled with my fingers before tracing the crescent scabs on my palm with a worried look on his face.

“Asano, y-your question?” Asano gave a hesitant nod and held my hand tightly, rubbing it with his thumb.

“I have this feeling that the E Class is hiding something; it's completely baseless but it’s just a gut feeling. I guess I wanted to ask if there was some kind of secret that the E Class had.” Asano rushed out, his fingers intertwining with my own.

I sighed and leaned forward, resting my head on his shoulder. I wrapped my free hand around Shu in a hug and I squeezed like I was trying to squeeze all my love and appreciation into him. Shu let go of my hand and hugged back before his body gave a little jolt and he stopped hugging me and reached for my hands and turned them palm side up.

He rubbed around the scabs gently before barely whispering, ”You never answered my question.”

“We do have a secret but it isn’t mine to tell, hell even if I wanted to I would be p-punished by the government if I did so,” I whisper out, now trying to keep this conversation only for us two and no prying ears listening in.

“Government? You’re involved with the government!?” Shu whisper-yelled out, looking at me with worried eyes like I had almost been shot but I managed to survive and he witnessed it all. 

“It’s the secret that’s really involved with the government, the only real relation is that they have one of their own-” My voice could barely keep up a whisper so I switch to sign language, ‘monitoring us in school and that we hold the responsibility to keep the secret a secret. Other than that I guess the secret him- itself keeps us involved with the government.’

“Himself? So the secret is a person?”

‘Something like that.’ Shu gave me a weird look when I signed that.

“What do you mean?”

‘Saying that will reveal too much, I think if I say it you could easily figure out who he is. You’re just too smart for me to leave such obvious hints behind.’

With that, we were both satisfied and we continued with our usual routine. And yet, I had a feeling that Shu wasn’t being completely truthful about something. Walking home yesterday- the day we made our bet with the Big Five- he told me about the document he wants E Class to sign if he wins the bet and yet I feel like he didn’t tell me everything there was to know about the documents

I could ask Ritsu to just take them and proof-read them, but that would be invading his privacy and even if he wasn’t completely truthful I still love Shu with all of my heart, so I wouldn’t dare invade any of his privacy.

And then there's his interest in our  _ Secret _ , I feel like he does have some base but no other proof to confirm whatever he’s thinking our secret is and that’s why he came to me. I may not be the best off academics wise, but that doesn’t make me dumb, I’m smart- maybe even a genius- in my own field.

I know of all the media covering a flying yellow octopus or a strange man in the same attire as Korosensei, it’s obvious Shu has gotten his hands on some of these stories and thinks there is a connection to how E Class is getting so much better all of a sudden. 

He may have kept himself from saying anything to me but I know how surprised he is that the  _ rest _ of E Class is getting better, and so quickly at that.

I say rest because Shu is helping me study so he knows where I'm at, even then, on the day of the exam or test I can tell that he’s realized I did better than when I studied with him since I normally show him my grades like he's my tutor- I know it's because he doesn't want me _hurt_ because I did bad. I don’t know what conclusion he’s come to with that but all I know is that he’s realized it.

* * *

Rio and I were making our way to the classroom on the main campus where we’ll be taking our exams. Although I was nervous for the exams, I was more relieved that they were going to be over, Hiromi would finally go back to normal- as normal as she gets. Even with that relief I still had some fear for the exams and  _ after  _ the exams, she might be rough and tough now but if I fail the exams, she won’t hold herself back for the sake of letting me study.

She’s done this before, it’s where I got a lot of my bigger scars and _funnily_ enough, last year’s midterms were where I got the wounds across my neck. It actually helped me make an excuse to stop talking altogether and made me miss a few school days since I was in the hospital getting stitches, they also had to make sure I wasn’t _actually_ mute and that the wound didn’t hit _anything important_. It hit a blood vessel or two but I was _just_ _fine_ , just a little weak from blood loss, you know, the usual.

Hiromi made me give some bullshit reason as to how I got this wound and especially in such a dangerous place, I was apparently attacked on my way home from getting some ingredients and someone came at me with a knife and went for my neck or some crap like that. No one slashes someone else's neck without the intent to kill them, so if I really was attacked late at night with a knife to my neck then I wouldn't be so lucky- or unlucky, since I still have to live with Hiromi, or just live in general.

_ Whoa, me, calm it with the edgy? _

Anyway, as we were walking to our reserved classroom, Rio made some conversation.

“Well, Nagisa? You ready for this?”

‘If what I studied is on there, sure.’

“Stand up straight and be a man! You have a good shot at getting the top score in English!” Rio’s always so confident in herself, and she has every right to be, she’s smart too! A little like Karma, they both are very smart but both enjoy goofing off and pranking people instead of studying.

“This’ll be rich! So you made a foolish bet with the A Class, eh?” Nobuta Tanaka said, a former friend of mine from D Class last year, as well as Chosuke Tanaka before I ended up in E Class. Now they seemed to enjoy picking on me specifically, I don’t know why but they just do.

“Wonder what they’ll make you do?” Chosuke Tanaka sneered, obviously trying to make us nervous. Sometimes, I just want to punch them right in the nose, not like they can pull a Karma and take it with a smile. 

_ Ugh, stop it, thoughts! _

As Rio passed by, she whipped out two pencils from her pencil case and shoved them up Nobuta Tanaka’s nose and yanked them out, and he started bleeding profusely. I can’t help my admiration for Rio to go up by ten folds.

“Well, looks like we’re the first ones here!” Rio said happily as Chosuke Tanaka screamed out for Nobuta Tanaka, Alright, I officially hate their names now.

We both stop in the doorway to stare at the Ritsu look-alike, “Who’s that!” Rio exclaimed in confusion as to why this unknown student is here and looking a hell of a lot like Ritsu.

“Ristu’s proxy. We couldn’t get the principal to allow an AI to take part, so we settled on a stand-in whom Ritsu has personally instructed.” Karasuma-sensei said, I didn’t think Ritsu would be taking the test at all, I guess since she still is a student she does have to take part in the finals, so I get it.

“Do you have any idea what it feels like to have the principal give you the pity-filled ‘You’ve sure got it rough’ look during those negotiations?” Karasuma-sensei said it was obviously a painful thing to remember from what I could get from his expressions.

I started to bow profusely to show my gratitude and Rio bowed once and said “We’re not worthy!” I simply point to her and nod my head to show that I agree with what Rio said.

Karasuma-sensei simply smiled at our antics and said “Ritsu has a message for you, and so do I; ‘Good luck.’”

‘Yes, sir!’ I signed, a ghost of a smile on my face

* * *

Looking at the questions on the first page I can already see that they’ve been amped up, probably directed by the Principal to try and stump even Shu. Thoughts pile up at the back of my mind as I focus on answering the questions correctly, even though I try to block out the thoughts they still seem to seep in one by one.

Why would the Principal make the questions harder, does he really just want E Class to fail, or was he targeting A Class and the Big Five? What about Shu? Why would the Principal want to make this harder on his own so- you know what, nevermind, I know why. He’s a douchebag that probably wants a reason to  _ beat _ his own son. Hiromi would probably try and do the same if she were in control of the exam questions, lucky for me, she isn’t.

But, abusive parents aside, could the Principal be punished if one of  _ his _ main campus students finds out our secret? If so, then that means that Shu probably has gone to his father in hopes that he would get something out of him. Did he? No, obviously not, he had to ask me, but that could’ve been to make sure of what he was suspecting.

The rest of the exam goes on like that, everyone struggling to do their best while I have to struggle with the drama that has just now reared its ugly face to me. I absolutely despise drama, it gives me too much to think about and then I can’t be at my best in case something happens.

If I’m crowded by thoughts then I won’t be able to sense people and their malicious intent as easily or from as far away and that could endanger my classmates. I don’t care how powerful Korosensei is, I may trust him but only to an extent, I will never trust anyone with  _ my job _ of protecting those who stand with me and love me even with all of my flaws.  _ That includes protecting Korosensei the best I can _ .

* * *

As Korosensei gives out all of our marks I can’t help but be deep within my own mind.

Last night I got a bad feeling about the bet, if we didn’t win I  _ really _ needed to know what was on those documents E Class had to sign. With Shu’s stupid interest in Korosensei, he could get himself hurt and that’s the last thing I would ever want for him. If there was no harm in being suspicious of E Class or interested in us and whatever he thinks we’re hiding then I would let it go but Shu could be hurt or worse if he continued down such a dangerous road. 

The guilt of what I did is killing me, and the fact that I can’t tell Shu what I did is even worse. And I can’t release my stress and guilt onto others since I know they won’t react as kindly as I did to Shu trying to figure out our secret. The only one I can really talk to about this is Ritsu since she was my accomplice in this invasion of privacy, but even with what Korosensei did she still can’t understand my guilt, but it helps nonetheless to talk to someone.

I did exactly what I didn’t want to do, send Ritsu to find Shu’s documents and read them over, and tell me if there was anything that would allow him to find out about Korosensei. Unfortunately, she found a singular line that stated that all of E Class  _ cannot _ keep any secrets from A Class- and in short, from him- and that made me realize instantly he was going to use those documents as a way to get us to spill about Korosensei.

So, I did the unspeakable, I asked Ritsu to search around in his computer for any signs that he knows about the ‘mysterious flying yellow octopus sightings’ or ‘the strange fellow’ that has done many different things. Ritsu came back and sadly reported that he has an interest in those incidents and most likely believes it all has to do with whatever secret we’re hiding in E Class.

This is where I had the most heartbreaking decision to make, do I ask Ritsu to erase the line about E Class being unable to keep any secrets from A Class or do I leave it there and instead hope and pray to any and all godly figures that we’ve won the bet. My conscience was kicking my ass at this point so I decided to leave it be and instead  _ warn _ Shu if he won, that he should  _ never _ ask about the secret he thinks we have- or that we really do have.

I’m thrown out of my thoughts by my rowdy classmates, looking around it’s obvious they’re happy so I’m guessing we did something right. Upon further inspection, I can see Fuwa with a scoreboard of sorts, and it seems like we have three points. My heart feels like it ascended, my mind is filled with cotton, as all my thoughts washed away with all of my fear. I smile, not a ghost of one, no, my eyes close with how big my smile is. I let out a breath I didn’t notice I was holding and my heart started to thump happily, Shu’s gonna be safe.

But what are we asking for?

* * *

Nobody was feeling disheartened, we not only won the bet and got a three day and two night trip at an Okinawa resort but we also have the advantage of seven free tentacles! That’ll put him at such a disadvantage, if we use our prize properly- and even use the fact that this resort is an island and therefore surrounded by water- we could have a real chance at an assassination that’ll  _ actually _ get him.

My mood goes down immediately, that’s what everyone else is thinking, using their prizes as assassination technics but I can’t help but hate it. Even if I was on board with the whole ‘ _ killing Korosensei for big prize money _ ’ like everyone else is, I can’t have high hopes for anything, Hiromi probably won’t allow me to go.

I unclench my fist and instead pick at the scabs already there, needing some pain to keep me grounded.  _ What if we actually succeed in killing Korosensei? What then? He’s one of the few people I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to put my life in danger to make sure they’re safe and yet, here I am, playing along with a class full of kids who want him dead. _

I flinch and look down at my hands hidden under my desk, I have no more scabs to pick at. Oh well, I reach into my bag and grab a small thing of tissues and place the tissues over my palms, to help with the clotting faster so I don’t bleed everywhere.

Summer has come and we’ve got our summer vacation, so that means Hiromi will either drag me to go and visit family or she’ll drag family over to come and visit us. I hate it since I have to wear girly things but hopefully, I’ll at least be able to see Shu. I hope Shu is going to be alright. It must’ve been really tiring to keep having to pretend to be someone you’re not.

Not like I don’t know but I don’t have to act so confident all the time, even in front of someone you fear more than death itself. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess there's a WARNING, there's talk about dirty(smutty) magazines at the beginning and I hated writing it, I could've completely skipped it, but those scenes had potential to have significance and show more of my Nagisa's mentality and thoughts, how he reacts to the situation and mainly its conclusion. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, or whatever.

Luckily enough most of our family- or the family that Hiromi still has contact with- are all on vacation elsewhere and, since I got pretty good grades, she’s letting me go out and have fun. And that’s how I got roped into catching bugs with Sugino and Maehara, not like I don’t want to, I like hanging out with friends, I just know we’re gonna run into other classmates here. It’s a gut feeling.

As Maehara rushes off with his million-dollar idea for getting ‘babes’ Kurahashi stops Maehara and explains that the beetle he’s looking for isn’t worth as much anymore. I don’t want to make any of this awkward so I try my best to hang back and keep Kurahashi from realizing I’m here.

I hand the bug box to Sugino and he takes it with a sad smile, understanding exactly what I’m doing. I climb a nearby tree and watch them talk about the trap Kurahashi set up and how much the bugs will cash-in. 

“What an inefficient trap. And you call yourself E Class?” Upon some branches, much like myself was Okajima, reading a magazine that I don’t even need to see to know what’s in it, “Pulling in a measly thousand yen at a time? Yeah, right. My trap will bring in a cool ten billion!” Okajima then hopes down right in front of the group.

“Ten billion… You don’t mean-” Sugino said,

“Oh, but I do. If we’re planning an assassination on this tropical isle, that octopus is bound to let his guard down in the meantime. And that’s what I’m after!” Okajima walked towards some pushes and I simply made my way closer still in the trees, Kurahashi is the only one there that doesn’t like me but I still don’t want to take my chances, I hate making things awkward between friends.

On the other side of the bushes was a pile of dirty magazines and sitting atop of them was our dear predictable, dirty-minded teacher, “All right! Here we go! He went straight for my porno trap!” Alright, Okajima was a little too proud of his pile of dirty magazines for my liking.

“Wow. When do you see the speedy Korosensei too absorbed in reading to make the slightest movements?” Maehara questioned,

“That one must be right up his alley,” Sugino answered, both of them oddly in awe and weirded out.

“And what’s with the stag beetle getup? Is he trying to blend in? That’s just sad.” I have to agree with Maehara on this one, it  _ is _ sad.

“Every mountain has one; the smut stash. The kids who find their dreams there grow old enough to buy their own smutty magazines and then leave behind dreams for someone else to find. It’s a place filled with never-ending dreams.”  _ What the hell am I listening to _ ? Okajima has turned to his right where Maehara and Sugino were crouched in the bush next to him, ”I’m glad you’re here! Lend me a hand! We’ll use our porno power to give him a dream he’ll never wake up from!”  _ Wait, what did you just say! _

“I did some major research into his top turn-ons, y’know. Can’t buy the stuff myself, but found a few.” He put effort into  _ this? _

“Wouldn’t he like anything with big boobs?” Maehara deadpanned, probably not too sure on the  _ ‘effort’ _ put into this.

“In real life, sure. But dirty magazines are dreams. Everyone looks for their ideals in those pages. For photos and mangas alike, the tiniest difference gets a whole ‘nother response.” Holy shit! He actually put effort into  _ this _ ! And it’s decent research too, damn, I guess there's some kind of power one pervert holds over another when it’s used like this.

“So for the last month, you’ve been placing different kinds of porno and carefully observing his reactions?” Maehara said, holding onto Okajima’s phone that has pictures of different reactions to different magazines over the last month.

“What kind of grown-up would spend a whole month picking up abandoned porno magazines? That’s just sad.” Sugino said disappointedly. 

“It’s just like your traps, Kurahashi. You need to work out ways to attract your prey for long periods of time, right?” Okajima seems  _ really _ proud of his trap.

“Yeah,” Kurahashi said, almost like she didn’t really know what to say.

“I’ve got a dirty mind. If you wanna hate me for it, go on ahead. But it’s only because I’m a super-lech that I know; Pornography can save the world.” What even are you, Okajima? “ I’ll get him, all right! Under all that smut is a net strung with anti-sensei BB pellets! He’s buried in that mag right now. We can nab him for sure! Someone cut this rope and trigger the trap. I’ll jump in there and finish him off!”

And so, Kurahashi had gotten the scissors and stood ready to cut the rope. All of a sudden, Korosensei’s eyes seemed to… zoom(?) into a tree.

“There you are!” Korosensei said as his tentacle reached over to the tree and caught something, “A Miyama stag beetle. And look at that eye color!”

Kurahashi then rushed over to Korosensei asking “Are they white, Korosensei?”

“Ah, Kurahashi! Indeed they are!”

“Wow! Just what I’ve been looking for!”

“Yes, right here on this mountain!”

And they both started to dance around in excitement.

“I don’t know what they’re so happy about, but a giant stag beetle and a junior-high girl jumping around on all that porno? That’s one hell of a sight.” Maehara said like he was disappointed this was even a thing and I think everyone else that  _ wasn’t _ jumping around on dirty magazines agreed.

It seems Korosensei realized exactly where they were standing, and he was mortified. I stood back, still up in the trees, watching them all interact. I didn’t feel like I should be allowed with them, especially not if I was just going to ruin Kurahashi’s day and make everything awkward and stiff. As I watched the students rush off after Kurahashi for the albino Miyama beetle, I could only smile.

_ Could I ever have a life like that? _

\-------------------------

One more week until our trip to the tropical island and I’ve somehow convinced Hiromi to let me go. I guess my good grades and the good average made her realize everyone was working hard and she wanted me to have fun. She may be abusive but she still had her moments. She doesn’t mean to be either neglectful or abusive, well I don’t really know that, but I know she tries her best when she has a clear mind.

And I know how lucky I am for that, Shu’s father does everything on purpose. He’s a man who likes to plan ahead for anything and everything. The first week off of school I didn’t see Shu and had minimal contact, I got so worried by everything that I asked Ritsu to monitor him through his phone like she does for me. Thankfully she agreed but came back with horrible news.

When I finally got to meet with Shu he was in rough shape, his father didn’t hold back, at least, from what I could see. Hiromi allowed me to bring Shu home and so I did, mainly so that I could see the rest of the damage myself but also so we could be in the privacy of my room and be able to simply cuddle and bask in each other's warmth. I knew Hiromi wouldn’t barge into my room like she normally would if I were alone since we have to keep up a ‘perfect family’ image for everyone else,  _ especially the principal’s son _ . 

I sometimes feel guilty for hanging out with Shu because of what Hiromi says. Going around and telling me all the things she could do to help me get out of that  _ dreaded E Class _ by being the Principal’s son’s friend. I know I would never use Shu like that but I worry if Hiromi will use it behind my back. I could lose Shu and it’ll be the  _ Karma incident _ all over again.

Anyway, now that I’ve secured my place in their assassination plan against Korosensei using both of the classes prizes from the finals, I have to ‘train’- watch them from afar and do minimal training with people both the teachers and I trust with my fragile body.

Luckily, It was mostly gun work so I could easily do that without anyone fussing, also, Korosensei wasn’t here, and he was the one that stopped me the most from doing anything.

\-------------

Apparently, Karasuma-sensei contacted Lovro to help us with our strategy and our practice. After dealing with a lazing Bitch-sensei, he turned his attention to me, and his gaze showed me he approved of  _ something _ he saw within me.

_ Probably my  _ **_killer_ ** _ Bloodlust. _ Haha, I made a funny about us being assassins and all that good stuff.

Although I was going to ask for Lovro to help me with more professional moves that assassins use, I had a question to ask him beforehand.

I poke Lovro’s arm and he whipped around to face me, his gaze dropped down to look me in the eyes. I hesitantly raised my hands, unsure at how to start this, or if Lovro even  _ knew _ sign language, this wasn’t exactly the kind of conversation I wanted someone to translate for me.

‘What’s the best assassin like?’

“So you’re interested in the world of assassins, eh?” I was relieved he could understand me.

‘Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.’

“Well, there’s only one person on this planet who can be called the very best assassin. As is often the case in this line of work, no one knows his real name. They only know him by a single alias. Namely; ‘The Reaper.’ Elusive, Incomparably cold-blooded, and with piles of bodies in his wake, he is known as Death himself. If you have trouble killing your target… the Reaper will show up sooner or later.” Sounds like a handful, if you ask me, especially to a bunch of kids that literally can’t kill their target when he’s their teacher. With so many openings and we can’t even get a single tentacle off, that right is reserved to Karma and his once in a lifetime surprise handshake. 

‘Lovro, I must ask another thing from you, if you don’t mind.’ I say as I start to walk towards the nearby forest, I gesture for Lovro to follow me.

“And what might that be?” he doesn’t hesitate to follow me.

‘I wish for you to teach me in the small time we have together, I wish for you to teach me as much as possible. You’re the only one that has knowledge of my abilities- or of the people that I know of- and I want you to cram my mind with any and all tricks you have.’ As I signed this, full of confidence, Lovro just gave me this utterly confused and maybe a bit worried look, like I just told him that I’ll live diving off the nearest skyscraper. 

_ Whoa, that’s dark, oops. _

“Why would you want that?”

‘I’ve been having a gut feeling that something bad is going to happen and it’s probably going to occur during our time at the resort.’

“And all you have is a gut feeling?”

‘Are you saying my instincts are invalid?’

“No, not at all, most assassins have great instincts and gut feelings- and you have exactly what it takes to be an assassin- but you’re a junior high student, a kid, and you’ve yet to kill someone.”

‘How do you know if I’ve killed someone or not?’ I let a sliver of my Bloodlust loose to coil itself around Lovro’s feet, rising up his legs and poised to sink its teeth deep into his muscles, to stop him from backing down from this battle he’s picked.

“I do not, but I doubt you have. Even if you have killed already it was most likely self-defense or unplanned murder, not an assassination.”

‘Alright, this argument is going nowhere and has nothing to offer me nor you. Let’s get back on track, do you agree to train me for as long as we have until I have to leave for Okinawa? I also must stress that I wish for our training to be alone, if you really are the only one with knowledge of my abilities then I wish to keep it that way.’

Lovro sighed, he caved in and now I get to widen my arsenal to more technical and assassin-like attacks, “Alright, I agree but I have to ask you, why do you seem uncertain that I am the only one who knows of your abilities? Who else would know?”

‘Korosensei has a high probability to have at least some kind of suspicion that there’s more than meets the eye, Karasuma-sensei too since he watches me very closely anytime I get to spar or train in general.’

“I have another question for you, why do you hide your abilities, shouldn’t they be something you show off, especially since this is a class full of assassins. Your strength could help your classmates with killing the octopus.”

‘You are right but most of the class dislikes me and even those who  _ are _ my friends, it’s better they don’t start to plan with my abilities or with me included in general. I may be powerful, I am still fragile. And whoever said I even  _ want _ to kill Korosensei.’

With that, Lovro gave me that same look, like I was crazy, “What about the prize money?”

‘If I were to ever get in trouble money-wise, you’ve said it yourself, I’m perfect assassin material and I doubt killing people doesn’t pay well.’

I stop to see that we’ve made it to a peaceful meadow with little debris on the ground,  I turn to stand in front of Lovro and bow politely ‘Please take care of me, sensei.’

Lovro simply smiled and nodded in turn.

And with that, my training to not only assassinate Korosensei but to be a normal, human-killing assassin has begun. And with every new day of training with Lovro-sensei passed, my horrible gut feeling got worse and worse, and it all reminded me of a certain gym class that I want to forget so eagerly.

\------------------------

I was actually excited, not because we were planning an assassination for Korosensei, no, because I was finally apart of one. And even then, it was really fun just being there.

Unfortunately, I had to do some preparations in the water so I had to get rid of my stupid irrational fear, Hiromi isn’t anywhere near Okinawa, we’re 6 hours away from each other, there’s no way she could do anything to me.

And with my nerves steeled, I joined my friends to go swimming around and quickly finish up the preparations. I love the water, I enjoy every part of it, I just hate the memories that come with swimming. I’ve gotten older and most of my memories are foggy since I was so young they could all be exaggerated because of how she acts now. My pep talk helped because of what role I was going to play in the assassination plan.

\---------------------------

After dinner- more like stuffing Korosensei- we’ve brought him out to a floating chapel, my nerves were on end for two reasons. One is my fear of this assassination plan going off without a hitch- which is unlikely- and Korosensei finally being killed. And secondly, that bad feeling hasn’t left me all day, even while doing fun things and being distracted by preparing for the assassination, it was always there, lingering at the back of my mind, always making itself known.

It felt horrible but no matter what, I always kept an eye on it, if it’s been getting worse the entire week before Okinawa, then that must mean it’ll act up, even more, the day of or a couple of hours before the ‘bad thing’ will happen. Nonetheless, it’ll tell me, either way, to stay on guard the second it gets even the slightest bit worse.

And all the horrid glares and passing comments from classmates I would usually try my best to avoid are now circling around and following my every move aren’t making anything better. It doesn’t help that Hiromi was aware of where I was going and actually packed me this skimpy, slutty bikini. Sometimes I think that she might be living in her own fantasy world where I really am a girl but I’m not, and I worry about her mentality.

I was so sure that Bitch-sensei slipped it into my bag as a prank but it seems that my normal swimming attire has been taken. I asked Bitch-sensei about it but she told me she only packed one bikini and she was wearing it. I could tell she was being honest, if she wanted to do a little prank on me she would keep it within my friend group and not something _all_ of my classmates could see, so my only other choice was that it was Hiromi and it _wasn’t_ a prank.

Obviously I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that and I was so ready to just jump in the water fully clothed but since Bitch-sensei- the only one who knew of my predicament- felt bad that I wouldn’t be able to swim without ruining some clothes she went and somehow bought me a wetsuit. She had asked the place where you could rent diving gear for just a wetsuit and rented one for me.

She then, surprisingly, gave me a motherly smile and told me that she knew why I waited to change last. At my horrified expression, she promised not to tell anyone but told me to come to her if I needed anything else.

I saw a side of Irina that I think is who she really is. Behind all of her training as a  _ certain type _ of assassin and instead, this was Irina Jelavitch, the woman who had a bad past that wound her in a bad place and the woman who is hardworking and determined in her own unique way.

\---------------------

I was told to pat Korosensei down to make sure that he wasn’t wearing a swimsuit that would cancel out his weakness to water. Walking up to Korosensei, I signed to him what I was going to do and he allowed me to. I hated how open he is to us trying to kill him, what if we actually do? I don’t know, I feel like he would be proud but I still don’t like it.

When the video started, I could tell that Korosensei caught on to what we were doing, he also probably knew that Hayami and Chiba were missing and would be on the lookout for them. Anyway, we’ve got an hour of the film to get ready.

- **_An hour later_ ** -

\------------------

The water had risen into the chapel and the seven top scorers were supposed to take their seven tentacles soon. My nerves were bouncing around like crazy and I've gotten a headache from it all but I had to pull through, I believe in Korosensei to be able to overcome our assassination.

Ritsu had given the go-ahead and the top scorers should’ve shot the tentacles by now, the four motorboats have now started their travel away from the chapel bringing down the dome top of it and leaving Korosensei out in the open.

And now it was our turn, we burst from the water on flyboards, using the water propelling out from the bottom to make a water cage of our own. The quick change in environment will put him off and make his reaction even slower, and with Ritsu along with everyone else still in the chapel shooting a square of anti-sensei BB’s around Korosensei, he’s now trapped and disoriented. And, with Ritsu’s counter hitting its final mark, Hayami and Chiba both shot at Korosensei from the water.

Not even a second after an explosion erupted from Korosensei and we were all thrown back. Everyone on alert from the blast- that has never happened before- and we’re all searching the waters for any sign of Korosensei. Kayano pointed out some bubbles and we all watched it carefully, those with weapons had them raised, ready to finish him off.

Out came this clear orb thing that had a small Korosensei head inside of it. As he explained how this ultimate defense form worked I could only wonder;  _ Was this what was worrying my instincts? It can’t be, they would be this bad for such a stupid thing, especially not if I’m happy about the fact that he wasn’t killed during that assassination attempt. So… what is it? _

Even with the plan being a dud, Karma still seems to never run out of humiliation options, hell, it seems he’s got even more now.

Although Korosensei praised the assassination everyone still seemed sad, they really did put their all into this so I get where they’re coming from. I may not be on the best of terms with some of my classmates but I can still see that they all tried their best and, although it wasn’t the best outcome, it’s the farthest they’ve ever gotten.

\-----------------

Even my mood was affected by how everyone else was moping around, not like I had a chance to relax instead, my gut instinct spiked the second we all sat down to relax and get some well-earned drinks. I also feel bad for not realizing it before but it seems like my survival instincts stopped me from drinking the drinks we were offered so something might’ve been done to them.

It’s not like I haven’t done my research, I also had Ritsu help, especially because I was feeling bad about the trip. A hotel on some nearby mountains is known for its illegal activity, and there’s a huge probability an assassin knows we’ve come here and that wherever we go Korosensei follows. There could’ve been something slipped into our drinks by some assassin trying to capture Korosensei from us, since I know there are other assassins trying to get at Korosensei, luckily they all come when he’s alone- so at night or on the weekends. But it seems this assassin(?), I’ve just been assuming it’s an assassin but it could be a freelance killer or just a straight-up criminal killer out for the prize money. Anyway, a nearby hotel known for illegal activity and that they keep their mouths shut, bad place for junior-high trainee assassins with a target worth billions.

I heard Chiba talking to Ritsu, it seems she recorded the assassination and was showing Chiba and Hayami what they could’ve done better for a higher chance of killing him. They aren’t as bad as the rest of the class, since they could honestly care less for the drama. I still think they don’t enjoy being around me, probably because I bring drama everywhere I go.

“I’m just so exhausted!” Maehara said and, might I add, he wasn’t looking too good.

“Let’s head back to our room and rest. I don’t feel like doing anything.” Mimura said and he wasn’t looking any better. Hmm, obviously whatever was put into our drink, and was probably a certain assassin that Lovro-sensei talked about. One of the three assassins he talked to Karasuma-sensei about, he gave me aliases and I did my research with Ritsu’s help.

Gastro, Smog, and Grip. Smog’s an expert on making poisons and viruses and he’s known for a particularly deadly one. I didn’t find any images of what he looked like but he’ll obviously smell like chemicals, that’s for sure. And if he’s so known and wanted then his viruses and poisons must not be able to be tasted or smelt. 

I bring my glass to my nose and smell it, it just smells fruity, nothing weird or out of place. But I know for a fact that there’s some kind of poison or virus and this bastard of an assassin has just poisoned half of my class. Even if it isn’t Smog then whoever this is better be ready because some of that half are my friends, and it’s my job to protect them. I’ll be getting that antidote whether you give it to me or not. 

I could feel my Bloodlust reach out finding anything to allow me to release my anger on it, I simply closed my eyes and took a deep breath and roped it back in. I wouldn’t want my Bloodlust to get close to Karasuma-sensei or Bitch-sensei, they could sense it and trace it back to me. 

“What, one lousy miss and you lose all your energy? We did what we were supposed to do, so tomorrow we can just enjoy ourselves!” Huh, wow, Terasaka doesn’t seem to be showing any symptoms even though he’s had some of the drink, he’s either a tank or filled with dumb luck.

“Ooh, yeah! Tomorrow I get to take in some swimsuited beauties for sure! No matter how tired I maybe, I’ll always have the energy for a hearty nosebleed!” Okajima seems to be fighting off the symptoms for the most part with his pervert power.

I could hear Maehara, another pervert but not as bad as Okajima, say “Man, I’m just not feeling it.”

I see Rio approaching me, so I get up in case she needs something.

“Can I lean on you for a second, Nagisa?” My hands wrap around her quickly and everyone seemed to have focused on what’s happening with us. I slowly let Rio slump to the floor and sit down while I support her upper body.

“I want to go back to the room and change, but I can’t seem to move my body at all.” I reach my hand to her forehead and my gaze hardens a bit.

I turn to Karma, who’s behind me, and sign to him ‘She’s burning up.’ He quickly gets up and comes around to check her forehead himself.

“Just imagining all those babes is giving me a nosebleed!” I turn around to see Okajima with a bad nosebleed. Looking around I can see that a bunch of other students are starting to feel the major effects of whatever was put into our drinks.

Karasuma-sensei comes rushing to us from inside and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of how my classmates are. I can see him talking to one of the staff that was apparently there, then I remember my thoughts from before. My body stiffens in an act to try and keep my Bloodlust from bursting out of me, untamed and ready to kill the bitch that did this.

I can see that Karasuma-sensei is on a phone call,  _ he seems uncertain and worried… Why would he be? Unless... _

I run over to Karasuma-sensei to listen in but Ritsu starts to play the audio from my phone.

It cuts into the conversation “It’s an artificial virus. Once you’re infected, it’s all over.” Great! This bastard has his voice lowered, fan-fucking-tastic! “The incubation period and initial symptoms vary, but the cells in their body will break down within a week, leading to death. There’s only one remedy, also an original concoction, but unfortunately, I’m the only one who has it. I can’t be bothered bringing it to you, so you’d better come get it directly.”

My phone screen showed a map of the island with a single spot pinging near the edge of the left side, “There’s a hotel atop this island’s mountain. Bring me the one with the price on his head. Come up to the top floor within one hour. However, Sensei, you seem pretty tough yourself. Dangerous, even.” So he can either see us, has knowledge of us already or he knows us. Good information but not enough “So send your two shortest students still standing- one boy, one girl. I’ve told the front desk to expect you. Follow the rules, and we’ll swap the target for the remedy and that’ll be that. But contact any outsider, or be even a little late, and the remedy...will be history. I’ve got to thank you for immobilizing him like that. Looks like the gods are on our side.”

It’s obvious he planned this, he probably got the waiter in on who to give which drink to whom and which ones are poisoned… unless the man on the phone didn’t make the remedy and instead hired Smog to make it. That would make sense as to why they weren’t available to Lovro-sensei and seemed to be ‘scared off’, they knew of their employer's plan and instead decided to take him up. Anyway, I could simply be reaching for loose ends just to make myself happy but that won’t help me find this bastard and-

I stop myself from finishing that sentence since I know I won’t be able to keep my Bloodlust caged inside. It’s rattling and hissing at the fact that some bitch would EVER think about pulling a crappy stunt like this.

\---------------------

Karasuma-sensei’s attempt at trying to make the employees talk by using the government card doesn’t seem to work and he isn’t surprised, “That mountaintop hotel is a noted site for illegal negotiation.” Not surprised, I’ve done my homework.

“A remote island in the middle of the southern sea? Couldn’t ask for a better location.” If Bitch-sensei can pull that from her huge boobs then shouldn’t the government be aware of it and make sure that those ‘illegal negotiations’ don’t reach us, Junior-high students, just innocently trying our best to kill our teacher?

“They have connections with some government higher-ups. Even the police have their hands tied.” Wow, like Karasuma-sensei read my mind… wow, if he really could I would've had a stern talking-to with how much I swear sometimes, oops.

“Clearly  _ they’re _ not going to cooperate with us.” Thanks for the obvious Karma, although your tone makes it all the more condescending like you're judging them for not cooperating with us, how do you do it?

“What’re we going to do? At this rate, it’ll be a massacre! We didn’t come here to  _ be  _ killed!” You say that like it’s okay for us  _ to _ kill, oh- no no, bad thoughts, we need to be nicer, he’s just worried.

“Calm down, Yoshida. We won’t die that easily. Just come up with a way to deal with this.” Hara said sweetly, trying to quell her friend's fears.

“Yeah...sorry, Hara.”

“It’s too dicey to do what he says. Send your two runtiest students? These two?! We’d just be handing him hostages!” Terasaka said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me close to him, “First off, I’m pissed at anyone who would even do this kind of thing. No one lays a finger on my flunkies!” I agree with the tank, “I say we ignore his demands! Let’s get everyone to a hospital in the city!”

“I’m against that. If it really is an unknown artificial virus, even the biggest hospitals won’t have an antivirus to stop it. The time wasted in bringing in the sick could hurt them more.” Wow, mister smarty-pants actually shut up Terasaka. But, no matter how pissed I am at whoever did this, I agree with Takebayashi more.

“Say  _ what _ ?!” I pat Terasaka’s back in, what I hope is, a comforting way.

“We’ll work on treating the symptoms for now. You’d better hurry to the trade-off spot.” No matter how infuriating it is that we can’t do jackshit, right now, this is  _ the _ best bet we have.

My phone made some weird sound so I took it out and there was Ritsu in another one of her unique outfits.

“Korosensei? All set!” Huh?

“It looks like Ritsu’s completed the pred work I asked her to do. I need the healthiest students to come here. Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty.” Even handicapped to the point of complete immobility, Korosensei’s still saving our butts.

\-------------------

We’ve been driven to a rocky side of the mountain that the hotels on.

“I infiltrated the hotel’s computers and got the schematics of the interior, complete with guard locations. A large number of guards are stationed at and around the main entrance. It’s not possible to enter the hotel without going past the front desk. With one exception; there is an entryway on this side, atop the ledge. The terrain is impassable, and there are no guards posted there.” Wow, so much for the vacations. Well, we could think of it like rock climbing, except there are no safety ropes, and if you get tired you’ll fall to your death or at least lay on the pavement in agonizing pain, writhing and flinching, with a bunch of broken bones. Yep, the usual, yadda yadda.

“If you don’t want the enemy to get his way… there’s only one thing to do! Not counting the ten patients and two left behind to take care of them, all capable students must sneak in from here, get the jump on the guys at the top, and steal the remedy!”

Welp, good thing I both don’t fear heights and welcome death with open arms. Let’s find this bastard and kick him where the sun don’t shine.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!
> 
> There is mention of rape (I use colorful words to dance around straight out saying it but it's mentioned) There's also inappropriate touching, mentions of illegal activities such as minor's drinking and children doing drugs (please do not do any of these, this is illegal) There's also illegal intent surrounding sexual activities with a minor but it's never explored.
> 
> Unfortunately, I cannot really tell you when these come up nor have I put any indications since they're kind of sprinkled everywhere. If you are uncomfortable reading this kind of stuff then please, know your limits and stop reading.
> 
> (I want everyone to remember to read tags because they can help tell you if there are things you may be uncomfortable with inside of the fic you're reading. Note that my fic will have mentions of rape and illegal activities as well as violence.)
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Everyone was making their way up the mountain with ease, scaling the rocking cliffside like we were in some playground, not on the side of a mounting with painful pavement under our unharnessed selves. Alright, now I’m just bitching ‘cause I wanted to spend my night time on vacation either looking at the beautiful night sky around a campfire or sleeping and yet, here I am, with none of those activities in my near future. Especially if I die, but then I wouldn’t have a near future.

I mindlessly use my right hand to search for the next reachable ledge I can grab onto and as I grab onto a ledge I skim someone’s ankle. Following the leg up I can clearly see Kimura’s blue vest, looking even higher up I can see his glare aimed right at my hand. I got to shift my weight onto my left hand so I can move my right away from Kimura’s foot but I never get the chance too. 

My heart drops and my blood runs cold when Kimura says “Don’t touch me, _slut_.”

 _Flashes of when Hiromi was with_ **_him_ ** _wormed their way to the surface of my memories, somehow getting out of the dark well at the back of my mind that I had looked them away in. Brief flashes of the many, many times he had called me such came forth and shook me to my very core. I had forgotten how much strength that word had on me, how such an overused word could quickly make me a quivering child. Like I had gone back in time to when_ **_he_ ** _came over with the excuse of seeing Hiromi. His true intentions lost to her even to this day, and I wanted to keep it that way. Hiromi has always been one to want the perfect little girl, and I don’t know how ‘perfect’ and ‘beautiful’ I’ll still be to this strict gardener if she gets knowledge that her pretty little blue flower has already been cut, used, deflowered._

My vision darkens and blurs, I can barely make out far from close, as my right hand is nudged off the ledge. I hadn’t properly shifted my weight and so my left hand didn’t have much grip, it easily slips and suddenly I can’t see anymore. I can faintly hear my own heartbeat in my ears, I can hear my blood rushing. My side crashes into something and I can’t breathe anymore, my body starts to slip off this rounded spike that pokes out of the mountainside and I scramble to grab it, trying my best to wrap my body around. The uncomfortable curve of my chest makes it so that trying to catch my breath isn’t any easier than it should have been.

All the sound of concerned people calling out my name rush back into my brain, the sudden flood of noise makes me ground in pain as I can feel the angry thump of a headache starting to grow. A hand gently rubs me back and wraps around my torso, lifting me against their warm body and holding me straighter. I catch my breath and find my footing. 

“Are you okay Nagisa? Can you breathe? Are you hurt? I’m going to need you to show me if you're coherent or not.” The normally smooth and teasing voice sounded so unnatural with it’s worried and borderline scarred tone. I turn the best I could do and give Karma a simple smile, trying to convey that I’m fine. Karma gives me a relieved smile and slowly releases me, letting me settle into a secure position on the mountainside.

“Nagisa, Would you like it if I carried you up? Like how Karasuma and Bitch-sensei are doing it?” At that, I direct my attention to Bitch-sensei piggy-back riding Karasuma-sensei before looking back at Karma. Does he have the strength to carry me? Oh, wait, I weigh nothing so I shouldn’t be worried about that but…

Damn it, normally I would hate to inconvenience someone or put my trust in them but it seems like today I’ll be doing both. If I had the strength to keep going on my own I would reject Karma’s offer instantly but just staying still has my practically nonexistent muscles shaking and quivering like they’re about to kick the bucket. I also haven’t completely recovered from my diaphragm being roughly _tickled_ but the rock spike.

Sighing dramatically I give Karma a _look_ that has him turn around happily and wait for me to climb onto his back. And with that we Karma jets it up the mountain, even with me on his back holding on for dear life, and has me stretch my torso out to let me take in a deep breath. He may be violent but I know for a fact that it’s _because_ he’s so violent that he knows certain things. Like how to make sure I can breathe properly, he’s probably been in a fight where he was hit in his diaphragm and he couldn’t really breathe properly and so he searched ways to make sure he didn’t need medical attention.

Nonetheless, moral here is, he may be violent and like to punch but he needs to know where to punch and where _not_ to get punched, that involves human anatomy and can probably lead you down a rabbit hole straight into medical stuff.

Once everyone was prone and at the ready, Karasuma-sensei turned to Ritsu- I’m going to seriously own her something.

“Ritsu, run a final check of our invasion route. Yes, sir. Displaying interior map.” I took out my phone to see that Ritsu was projecting a map of the building and showing us the route we’d have to take. “ Final check: We can’t use the elevators, as they require a passcard for every floor. We’ll have to take the stairs, but they’re scattered throughout the hotel, so we’ll have some distance to cover on foot.” Hmm, it’s in place to prevent or at least catch attackers, they most likely have their valuables- person or material, maybe even data- at the very top and plant guards all across the building. Smart, these people don't mess around.

“It’s like a TV station,” Chiba said.

“What do you mean?” Kayano asked and I have to agree, what does a TV station have to do with this?

“Apparently they have complex layouts to prevent a terrorist takeover.” Holy shit, Chiba, that actually makes sense!

“You sure know a lot about it,” Kayano said, I have to mention, I’m not one to bother asking where someone may have gotten information as long as it doesn’t harm me or my friends, and it’s sometimes better that way.

“No wonder the bad guys love staying here,” Sugaya said.

“Unlocking said entrance.” You go Ritsu, I’m really going to have to treat you to something later.

“Let’s go. We’re running out of time.” Hmm, maybe Karasuma-sensei deserves something too since he’s done a bunch for us as well. Hmm, I’ll calculate their debt towards me as a person after this is all done. I wouldn’t mind being their servant or waiter for the rest of the trip if it means they get to feel appreciated.

We’ve all entered and I’ve been given the responsibility of holding Korosensei and Karma has given himself the responsibility of sticking right next to me. I am thankful for the concern but this is going to get old real quick, and I doubt we’ll be able to stick together throughout this whole thing anyway.

“There are more guards than I expected.” The anger from before is coming back and it’s now evolved from irrational violence to homicidal thoughts, these unsuspecting guards are looking exquisite.

“It’d be too difficult for aloof us to get past,” Kayano says, sticking close to my side and partially hiding behind me, her hand on my arm like she’s ready to use me as a human shield.

“What’s the holdup? Just go on through.” Oh, that’s right, we have Bitch-sensei here. She could easily keep their attention on her long enough for us to get by. I observe with watchful eyes, her way of moving could easily help me in the future. It’s not like I don’t already know how to get out of a sticky situation using my femininity but watching someone who’s used their sex appeal as a weapon to actually _kill_ people is something that’s invaluable to let up.

I watch as she easily takes on being drunk, using her appealing looks and body to quickly have them let their guard down, no one suspects a girl of being dangerous. My eyes glaze over with a calculating look as I watch her play, enrapturing her small audience with a quickly thought up character and plan.

Like a pro.

* * *

Being told to act like a bratty rich kid who thinks alcohol and drugs are cool was to be expected and was something I think I could easily fall into the act. Hiromi isn’t rich by any means but we aren’t poor, she just likes to over exaggerate. She does have friends in higher places though and uses her relationships with them to be able to attend their parties, filled to the brim with rich parents and kids.

Normally her goal would be to get me in a pretty dress to go dance around other kids my age, using my girlish looks to try and get them to like me- girl me, anyway. I can’t really do that anymore since I refuse to speak, and Hiromi isn’t complaining, so she altered her picture of me. Now I’m the shy mute girl and it’s surprisingly effective, boys dig the cute and quiet ones apparently.

Walking on Terasaka and Yoshida got reckless and immediately were put into danger. Karasuma-sensei took the hit for them and I was caught between running up and helping them or staying back and letting this be handled so I don’t get a chance to blow my cover. I opted to stay back, I can’t fight against him without revealing to someone who’s watchful enough that I know his tricks.

Since it’s obvious he’s Smog, and I already know everything I need to know about him as an enemy and ally, fighting him might reveal that I know who he is, there’s a slight chance but it’s never zero. And I don’t dance around with chance, especially when my life and the life of others are on the line.

Anyway, with Smog here, I can bring the possibility of Grip and Gastro of being here as well. What sucks is that literally does nothing to help me since I’ll only fight if anyone's life is in immediate danger and I doubt that’ll happen with Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei both being here. Another reason as to why it’s practically pointless for me to know if they’re here or not is because I don’t know what they look like and therefore cannot identify them. So most of my knowledge is useless unless certain improbable circumstances occur.

My spiraling thoughts were cut off as Karma pulled me to the side and into a line that was blocking an exit. Oh, so we’re doing this then. 

“When encountering an enemy… “ Why didn’t you finish your sentence, Isogai?

“...immediately block their retreat path…” You too, Kataoka? It’s just like the Big Five’s fleeing words.

“... and cut off communications!” Even you, Terasaka?

“Isn’t that right, Karasuma-sensei?” Isogai said, hopefully finishing up whatever you guys started. It reminded me too much of the Big Five for me to be comfortable.

“The minute you saw us, you should’ve held off attacking and gone back to tell your boss.” Now, you see here Karasuma-sensei, you need to stop being so damn cool, or else your debt to me will be beyond what I could ever do in the remaining time we have here. So, cool it, at least a little, I feel some sort of pride when I watch you be all badass so I guess all is forgiven.

_I feel crazy for having a one-sided conversation with Karasuma-sensei all in my own mind._

“I’m surprised you can still talk.” I don’t know if the class is surprised anymore when Karasuma-sensei pulls off something like this. “But all you have left is a bunch of kids. Once you’re dead, they’ll stop following orders and just run away!” And he was cut off with a kick to the face and went down like a bitch. Sorry, Bitch-sensei, didn’t mean to be rude to you.

* * *

We’ve hidden the body but now our movement will be hindered, Karasuma-sensei will slow down because of the poison. _I somehow feel like we just killed someone from how I said that first part._ He’s still alive, I think… I didn’t check. His neck could’ve snapped so maybe he is dead. Meh, a question for another day.

Continuing onward, everyone's mood was somber, maybe a hint of worry. They’re scared of what other pro lies ahead. The fear is understandable but we still have Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei here to guide us. We may not have their experience or power but we have their intelligence and leadership, we’ll be fine.

And if shit hits the fan I’ll have to step in in the least suspicious way possible.

“Man, it sure is starting to feel like summer vacation, am I right?” Korosensei’s voice made me flinch a bit, I could even feel how annoyed everyone was at Korosensei.

Everyone started yelling at Korosensei, I knew it wasn’t directed at me but I could help but to flinch and curl into myself. I snap out of it when I hear my name.

“Nagisa, twirl him around till he’s sick!” I can’t disconcert who said that but who was I to deny them their fun. I get to twirling him but Karma comes and stops me, holding my arm in place.

“Okay, Terasaka, I’m jamming him in. drop trou and spread those cheeks!” I cover my mouth with my other hand and try to hold in my laughter, Karma’s plans are always so vulgar but they never seem to fail at somehow making me laugh, all of my friends never fail at making me laugh.

“That'd kill me!” I let Korosensei hang my Karma’s hand.

‘Korosensei, why does this feel like summer?’ I sign to him, everyone’s focus has shifted to the rapid movements of my hands.

“The teacher-student relationship isn’t a cozy one. Summer vacation fosters student independence in places beyond a teacher’s protection. If you apply the lessons you’ve learned in your usual gym classes, there will be few enemies for you to fear. This is your assassination vacation… and you can beat it.” After that inspirational speech, Karma silently hands Korosensei back to me and we continue our journey.

* * *

My hands tremble as I watch this man break a window carelessly with his bare hands, he’s got to be Grip. Lovro-sensei spoke highly of his strength but he would never exaggerate it, also, his way of speaking gave it away. 

Looking at my classmates, I can tell they’re put off by how he’s speaking. Or, most of them are.

“You sure like adding “eth” to things, buddy!” God damn it, Karma.

“I heard it had a cool old-fashioned sound to it, like-eth a samurai. It’s got a cool ring to it, so I’m try-eth-ing it out.” Ah, a stupid foreigner, how naive. “I might-eth be doing it wrong, but that’s okay. After I kill you all here, I can drop-eth the ‘eth’ and no one will ever know.” I hate him. Can we at least get to the fighting, if we beat him he’ll maybe he'll shut up?

“Bare hands… Are those your killing tools, then?” Korosensei, ever heard of Captain Obvious?

“My skills are actually in quite high demand, you know-eth.” Hopefully not your education on the Japanese language, boy, would that be a nightmare. ”Passing through pat-downs is quite the advantage, after all-eth. When my prey draws close, I snap-eth their necks. Or if the fancy strikes me, I crush-eth their skulls.” I _cannot_ take you seriously with that stupid samurai shit. “It’s funny, you know-eth. The more you train-eth your strength for the purpose of killing people, the more you feel-eth like using it for something other than assassination.” Pure, mindless, penny-less murder? “To be-eth precise, a fight, to the death, against-eth a mighty foe. But this is quite-eth the letdown. After seeing who I’m up against, I’ve all but lost-eth my will to fight.” Why don’t you use the will to speak like that, that’ll really make my day. “Not to mention, it’s a pain to mop-eth up a bunch of small fry by myself. I’ll call in my boss and my colleague to help-eth out.”

And with that, Karma smacked and effectively cracked Grip’s walkie-talkie, cutting off his communications. I do have to give him brownie points for using the plant, a nice show of creative use of your surroundings.

“Hey, buddy. Chill-eth. You seem pretty average for a pro, huh? Breaking glass, busting skulls? I can do that much. But if your opening move is to call in reinforcements, I guess that means you’re too scared to take on a Junior-high kid alone.”

I can’t help the small smile at Karma’s development, maybe being brought to E-class actually changed him- No, stop that. I shut down my emotions, dulling my presence, and focus on watching Karma and Grip talk some more, with the background noise of people talking about Karma. This isn’t the time or place to start thinking about my stupid kiddy crush on the first person to treat me anything like a human- in the past, anyway- just because he didn’t underestimate his foe doesn’t mean anything.

Karma is Karma, nobody is going to change who he is. And what reason does Karma has to change, he’s perfect. Smart, handsome, and strong. Prince charming if you remove the personality, but some girls are into that.

They finally start fighting, and Grip has easily discarded Karma's weapon. Karma is put on the offensive by Grip’s relentless attacks, he’s trying to overwhelm Karma.

“He’s dodging or blocking every blow!” Yep, we were told to use everything we’ve learned and of course, Karma’s the one to go beyond what we were specifically taught.

“That’s your defense technique, right, Karasuma-sensei?” Korosensei says. A few seconds later and Grip stops his stream of attacks.

“What’s wrong-eth? You’ll never get past me if you don’t attack-eth!” I’m starting to not want to register what he’s saying as Japanese.

“You think? I mean, I could be doing my best to distract you while the rest of us slip past, a few at a time. But relax. No underhanded shenanigans here. Now… It’s my turn. Barehanded, like you. We’ll settle this fair and square, man to man.”

“I like-eth that face of yours, young warrior.” Ew! He said young warrior! “With you, I’ve got a chance- a chance to have-eth the kind of fair fight I can’t experience in the world of assassins.” He would’ve hated going up against me then, whoops.

Watching the start of the fight, I could see Karma was going to do great and win this by being his Karma self but then, with a simple kick to the shins, Grip went down like a pansy and turned his back on Karma. It’s obviously a trap and I can only hope, as Karma rushes up to Grip, that he’s realized it too.

Whipping around, Grip released a familiar gas at Karma. And Karma seems to have fainted, and Grip all too painfully gripping Karma’s hair. I can hear and understand that my classmates and Grip are speaking but I’m more focused on Karma. I know that he’s okay, I already bet that Karma was going to win this fight in the most Karma way possible and I was spot on. I am a little worried about Karma's face since that’s where Grip decided to… grip Karma to lift him off the ground.

As Grip was about to turn towards Karma, a heavy stream of that all too damn familiar purple gas poured out straight at Grip’s face. I, once again, must try my best to hold in my laughter. Even while Grip whips out a small switchblade and rushes Karma, I know Karma will be fine. He’s Karma, when will he ever really be in danger. I watched in obvious amusement, despite my silence, as they tape Grip up.

“I nicked an unused cartridge from that poisoner guy. Pretty handy. Shame they’re one use only.” Nice going Karma, I guess.

“How-eth… did you see-eth my gas attack coming? Is that why you didn’t breathe-eth any in? All I showed you were my bare hands… So how-eth?” He’s pretty mad that Karma saw through it.

“Do I really need to say? I was on guard against everything _but_ bare hands. I’m sure you really did want a barehanded bout… but you would have had to stop us by any means necessary, and if I were you, I would’ve done the same. I had faith you’d fight like a true pro… and that’s why I was on guard.” Pretty inspirational there, Karma, I think Korosensei’s getting to you.

“He had never known true defeat, but those final exams taught him all too well; losers are people just like you who have their own lives, their own thoughts, and their own worries. Once you realize that, you inevitably find that you can no longer make light of your opponent on the battlefield. You see your foe has their own motivations. That they’re trying just as hard as you. And you can see their abilities. Their circumstances. Someone who can be respectfully wary of their opponents… leaves no openings on the battlefield.” Well said there, Korosensei, well said. But I think you gave Karma too much credit, and that’s coming from me.

“Seems you’re a force to be reckoned-eth with, young warrior.” Ew, he said it again, that makes his whole samurai shizz so much weirder. “I may have lost, but I enjoyed our time togeth-”

“What are you talking about? The fun’s just beginning!” There’s the Karma I know.

“What the hell-eth is that?”

“Wasabi and mustard. I’m gonna put them up your nostrils. I’d been on guard around you all this time, but now you’re tied up, what’s the point? Once these are in, I’ll plug your nose with a special clip, stuff your mouth with ghost peppers- a thousand times hotter than average chilis- and _then_ I’ll gag you. Done and done! Now, my friend-eth… it’s time to show-eth me your willpower as a pro.” I’ve never seen him bring out that _headgear_ before… Wonder if he’s done some self-exploration in privacy and found something about himself that could be used as an aid to his torture methods. Actually, I’m not wondering…

“Korosensei… Karma hasn’t really changed all that much, has he?” Kayano said

“No, he hasn’t. I’m a little worried about his future.” I second that, Korosensei.

“What the hell did you bring with you, anyway? Hey, let’s get going. If we keep dragging our feet, they’ll find us.” Terasaka said, putting Karma’s thing’s away, looking a bit fearfully at the bag with the skull on it that had all of Karma’s torture devices(?)

“They’ll find _you_ , you big hulk.” Karma countered playfully.

“Aw, shut it!” The atmosphere of the playful banter doesn’t quite reach me as I get a nauseating powerful and painful pulse of that ‘bad feeling’. Korosensei seemed to have noticed how I suddenly acted like I was sick to my stomach but kept his worries to themselves.

* * *

“Okay, everyone, the terrace is upstairs,” Ritsu informed us from our phones.

“The bar floor. Could be tricky.”

“Yes. There’s a stairway to the VIP floor inside a lounge here. The back entrance is locked, so we’ll have to come in through the lounge to unlock it.” Ritsu showed us the plan using the map of the floor she had projecting on our phones.

“Now we’re flying by the seat of our pants.” Wait, so we actually had a solid plan aside from ‘get to the top by any means necessary’? I thought we were winging it the entire way, how is this any different.

“We really stand out, though,” Isogai said

“Let’s have the guys hide here. We’ll sneak into the lounge and unlock the back entrance. We girls won’t look suspicious alone in a place like this.” Kataoka said, and the rest of the girls agreed.

“No, you girls would be in too much danger on your own.” Karasuma-sensei, love ya and own you for saving us and you badass and all but WHAT! Have you not been the one training these girls every gym class? They are fine by themselves and if push comes to shove Ritsu can alert us if they’re in trouble and we could send Karma and Terasaka. They’ll be fine!

“Oh! If that’s the case... “ Karma, what the hell… please tell me your thinking what I’m thinking and not another of your stupid plans to tease someone...

I feel betrayed, and I’m hoping Karma has realized it through how powerful my glare is. If only I could project my thoughts into his brain, I have so many colorful words to use right now.

* * *

This is the only time any of the girls who aren’t part of my friend group have actually been nice to me, but why? Because seeing me dressed this way is humorous? Because I am now at their mercy? If they so wanted, and if Kayano wasn’t here, they could publicly shame and harass me. God, I hate this.

“We’d like a guy around, but in places like this, they check guys real carefully,” Kataoka explained.

‘Yeah, but even so-’ I signed and thankfully Ritsu and Kayano could translate for me.

“It’s all part of the plan!” Fuwa said, over delighted. And I just gave her this look that screamed ‘ _really?_ ’

“You’re acting too normal. It’s not fresh enough.” Really, Hayami, even you!

‘Where did you find these clothes, anyway?’ Ritsu translated.

“Someone left them next to the outdoor pool.” Really Hayami, what about germs and diseases!

While walking I was somehow brought to the front and was leading the pack, every second in the girly clothing was just bringing back every lesson Hiromi would drill into me every time we went dress shopping for her rich friends’ and their parties. Soon I was walking like I owned it and I could feel the confusion from everyone behind me.

Getting deeper into the party was when I stopped acting so childish and holding a stupid grudge, instead, I was worrying for them, for their purity. This was a place full of underaged everything. Adults went after kids who would follow their lead for anything because it’s ‘cool’. Kids here are into drinking, drugs, and sex and so are the adults. It’s a minefield of impurity that I really don’t mind walking headfirst into if it meant to keep these young women sacred.

I understand Karasuma-sensei’s distress about letting them go into this kind of place alone. But my plan still stands as operational, I still would have gone and done this anyway, they shouldn’t even have to be objectified to the horrors that await with the people in this place. Not like me, anyway.

A man, I would say he was a young adult, late teens to early ’20s had come from my left- in that direction was the bar, the man had a drink in hand, his breath smelled like alcohol so he ingested some. He had come onto Hayami but she seemed to be telling her off, I was going to let her handle herself- this kind of experience can be made into something useful, like how to avoid these places, how to identify people and their intentions and how to turn them down no matter how persistent. But I had to step in the second I saw him trying to grab at Hayami, going for a spot that made me skin crawl and my nauseating ‘bad feeling’ pulse in quick succession. 

She doesn’t deserve this, no girl deserves this. This stranger is exactly like **that man** and I’ll be damned if I let predators like this bastard get to any of my classmates of my watch. I’ll do whatever it takes… anything for them, everything for them.

Moving to block the man from getting at Hayami, I grabbed his outstretched hand and intertwined our hands. I gesture for him to lean down and he does so compliantly and eagerly.

“Sorry handsome, she’s not really used to this and she won’t take too kindly to you coming on so strong. How about instead I entertain you a little over in the corner, alright, sweetheart?” I say in an imitation of Bitch-sensei’s voice, but taking on more cutesy rather than sexual tone and more wisp to make it easier on my throat.

“Haha, now this is what I’m talking about. I understand how scary being here must be so I’ll take you up.” He then stares directly at my chest, then at my rear end before smiling and licking his lips. He lets go of my hand to place it directly on my butt, squeezing a little. 

He’s trying to be playful and illicit a reaction. Too can play at this game… Anything for them, everything for them.

_That mantra is the only thing stopping my body from reacting badly, from registering the ghost of past hands that have roamed this unsacred body, disheveling it and opening it to the world too early._

I let out a quiet eep and lean my body into his, his face splits into a smile and he leads us off, casting out to the group “I’ll be taking this cutey off your hands for a bit.” and then we disappeared around the bend. 

He brought me to the bathrooms it seems, he had chugged his drink and left it at the bar table where we passed to reach the bathrooms. He brings me into the men's bathroom and starts leading me to a stall that was tucked into the corner of the bathroom. Alone at least, and away from prying eyes.

“Hey, Handsome, I’m getting a little antsy, lean down real quick for me.” I give my best attempt at a seductive look and it seems to have worked since he leans down. I reached my arms around his neck and went to kiss him, his perverted smirk blocked from my mind as, along with the mantra, the only thing I was focusing on was getting ready for Bitch-sensei’s Kiss of Death. Maybe getting randomly kissed by Bitch-sensei had some payoff.

Once our lips connected it was obvious this man thought he’d be in control. If he likes to control, then I need to be quick and effective with the Kiss of Death. Unfortunately, I’m not well versed enough so I instead leak my Bloodlust and let it strange the man, knocking him out in record time.

After washing my mouth out with the tap water in the bathroom I rushed back out to find the girls all where I left them. Spotting me they all cried out in relief and ran towards me, Kayano reaching me first and pulling me into a tight hug. I return it, thankful for any and all comfort. I say that, and yet I was surprised and overwhelmed by the fact that the rest of the girls all hugged me too, Hayami was even on the verge of tears.

“Why did you do that, you didn’t have too… it must have felt disgusting, I’m so sorry, sorry, sorry, I’m sorry.” Hayami said sobs and hiccups interrupted her frequently. I wasn’t used to comforting Hayami so I did what I do best, I gave her my best comforting smile, wiped away her tears and hugged her tightly, gently rocking back and forth.

“Hey, are you girls okay?” We all flinched at the new voice and turned to see a man, younger than the one I just knocked out, maybe around our age.

He held out a pack of mint chewing gum and gestured to me, “I saw what you did back there, it takes a lot of guts to do something like that but no matter what reason it’ll still feel horrible, so try to wash out whatever taste was left. Well, if there was any, not saying there was-and…” He got nervous at the end. His intentions, for now, are pretty pure, he’s fine for now. I take a piece of gum and start to chew it, bowing my head lightly to show my gratitude.

“Not much of a talker, huh. Anyway, my name’s Yuuji, would you care to share yours?”

“This is Nagisa and I’m sure you're a great guy but we really need to move,” Kayano said hurriedly, probably wanting to get me out of this place before another person comes to hit on the girls.

“Ah, wait-!” Yuuji tried to say but the girls rushed past him and to the door we’re supposed to go through.

Making our way to the door Yuuji once again intercepts us. Trying to look ‘cool’ and dance, what he does end up doing is knocking someone's drink onto themselves. This man obviously wasn’t going to leave Yuuji alone without payback, Yuuji may be awkward but he’s nice.

As the man started to threaten Yuuji, Okano came in and did the splits, kicking the man in the face and knocking him out. Hayami and Kataoka dragged the man off a bit while Yada told the guard of the man that had just ‘suddenly’ passed out.

The guard brought the unconscious man away and the rest of the girls fled through the door to go and meet up with the boys. 

I took out my phone and typed to Ritsu what I wanted to say to Yuuji.

“Even when girls pull off something cool so effortlessly, you still have to chin up and act cool yourself. Isn’t it hard, being a guy. If we meet again, keep acting cool, okay?” I quickly typed in, “Though cut out the drugs and dancing if you can help it.” And with that, I left that horrible place.

* * *

Leaving the place and meeting up with the boys I could feel how all the girls wanted to tell the teachers and everyone else about what happened to me so I quickly dragged them off into the room where I first changed into the girly outfit.

‘I would appreciate it if you all didn’t mention anything about what I did, I did what I did because of personal reasons I rather not go into. I’m fine and that man did nothing rather than kiss me- which I engaged the kiss first- and then I knocked him out. ‘ Ritsu from Kayano’s phone translated everything I said for the girls.

“But-” Hayami started but I quickly shook my head. 

‘I am fine, it’s not like I wasn’t my first kiss, and I’ve, unfortunately, been touched inappropriately before, I look feminine enough for others to make the mistake, especially when I had my hair loose. Especially when I live near a place that’s known for some thug and gang-related activity nearby. I’ve never been forcefully kissed nor anything beyond being groped, even that’s only happened twice not counting today.” I hate lying, especially to Kayano, who’s been such a great friend to me, but I am ashamed and I would rather spit out a few white lies to a small select few rather than have to lie to the whole group. It’s for my own pride and dignity., whatever’s left of it, anyway.

“I-I get it, and I’m sorry, Nagisa, for being so mean to you. I believed in all the rumors that followed you from your time at the main campus that I never got to know the real you. The rumors and all the horrible things said about you clouded my vision and I acted just like those main campus jerks. So, for that, I’m sorry, and to start making it up to you, I’ll keep quiet as long as you don’t go sacrificing yourself again.” Fuwa said, tears gathering in her and the rest of the girls' eyes as they all agreed, saying they’re sorry and moving in to hug me. I hugged them back before they all filled out of the room to let me change.

* * *

I came out of the room feeling super relieved to be in clothes that weren’t uncomfortably revealing, especially for a guy in that kind of clothes.

“Wow, you sure changed fast, Nagisa,” Kayano said and I gave a bashful smile and nodded my head, the other girls gave giggles at my reaction. Although I felt like I needed to sell it that I wasn't needed and that nothing happened, it’s just because I’m extra careful and would rather jump off the top of this building into rushing water than let it be known that I did something as skimpy as lead another man away. It’d be D-Class all over again.

‘You girls did everything this time around. What was even the point of me being in this getup?’ Singing that, with Ritsu’s translations, had all the girls looking at me with widened eyes. Did it just finally sink in that I wanted to be irrelevant to the whole thing. I thought it was obvious because of how I acted normally, always trying to blend away and do my own thing, to never be in the main attraction.

“Comic relief, duh!” What the hell! When did he take a picture!

‘Don’t you dare, Karma!’ Even if I was acting all happy, in reality, I felt disgusting, I was dirtying my friends by being near them. How dare I talk with them, these beautiful pure flowers, and here I was, trampled on and cut up, used and forgotten. How dare I, a weed waiting to be unrooted, stand and bloom among these elegant roses, all marked with their own uniqueness while I stand bleak and the same color as the rest of the horrible wicked weeds. 

“If only you could have stayed like that. History’s full of assassins who disguised themselves as women, after all.

‘Don’t you start too, Isogai!’ I sign, Ritsu translating for everyone to hear. Ritsu’s debt has gone up since she’s acting as my voice for now.

“If you’re gonna cut it off, Nagisa, sooner is better.” God damn it Karma!

‘I am not! I happen to like it!’ 

“Can we talk about this later?” Karasuma-sensei… later?

‘Or hopefully never.’

“We’re in our final stage of infiltration here. Ritsu?”

“Yes, sir. Up ahead is the VIP floor. These guests don’t rely solely on hotel security but provide their own hired lookouts.” Hmm, don’t look like too much but without Karasuma-sensei, we can’t really fight these guys.

“So of course there’s some blocking the staircase,” Sugaya said.

“They look way tough, too,” Okano observed.

"Are they more of the guys who’ve been threatening us? Or are they hired muscle that has nothing to do with us?” I have as much of a clue as you do, Yada.

“Either way, we’re gonna have to beat them to get by,” Terasaka said, always ready for a fight.

“That’s exactly right, Terasaka. And that weapon you have will do the job perfectly.” Korosensei said. Weapon? Wonder what he brought.

“What, you got X-ray vision now, too” If we are being honest here, probably.

“You’ll have to take them both down at the same time, or they’ll call for help.” Wow, Karasuma-sensei, that’s a lot of pressure on Terasaka. 

“I got this, okay? Hey, Kimura, see if you can lure them out this way some.” It seems Terasaka has some form of a plan, surprising. No, wait, Terasaka, I’m sorry. I’m being a little sassy bitch to entertain myself and my thoughts so they don’t travel to some blood filled places. _Why exactly am I explaining all of this when no one is aware of my thoughts?_ As far as I know, No one here’s got some cool telepathy, I think my messed up thoughts are safe for now.

“Who, me?” No, Korosensei- of course, you’re the only one with that name and he’s facing you! “But how?” By taunting then running like your life depends on it because it does.

“How should I know?” Terasaka, you’re the one with the plan, pretty half-baked since no one knows anything about it.

“Here, Kimura, try this…” Oh no, Karma’s got that face again. I go to get Korosensei from Kimura’s grasp so he has his hands in case everything goes south real quick.

Watching Kimura walk up to those guards, I can see the difference in _everything_. He may be rude and mean- but that’s only to me- but he’s still human and a classmate, I care for him just like everyone else. Even if he did almost kill me I don’t believe it was intentional, more of him just trying to show his distaste for my nearby existence.

I can see them talking but I’m too far away to actually hear anything. I see Kimura say what he has to say and start to walk off, it didn’t seem too effective until both guards started chasing him like dogs after a treat.

As Kimura passed Terasaka and Yoshida rush out and tackle the two guards, pinning them and- _the familiar crackle of electricity makes me instinctively curl into myself, it takes a lot out of me to focus of trying not to react, the sound has finished, I’m safe,_ ** _she’s_** _done._

Coming out of my mental shell once the sounds of the stun guns had stopped I can see that both guards were unconscious and everyone was safe. 

“Nice weapon, Terasaka. But check their chests. Judging from the bulges there, you ought to be able to find something even better.” I know everyone should be freaked out by the real guns but god damn it Korosensei, I can’t tell if you said it like that on purpose or not. “And… Chiba, Hayami? Those guns are for you. Karasuma-sensei hasn’t recovered enough to fire with any accuracy. Right now, you two are the best gun-users we have.” Giving children guns… yep, great idea, I see nothing wrong here. Why don’t we start presenting them with the button to launch a bunch of nukes? Next, we’ll get them some grenades, and how about some cool ass swords.

“B-but this is all so sudden.” Story of my life, Chiba.

“However! I will not permit you to kill anyone.” what if it’s life or death? Well, at least I can find a loophole and say you never specifically said ‘No Killing’ to me and start to run amok. Haha, Loopholes! “With your skill, you should have plenty of ways to use those to defeat someone without a scratch.” You sure you aren’t overestimating them? Whatever, it’s your mistake to fix if everything goes to shit. “Let’s be on our way, then. From the looks of things at this hotel, there’s no sign the enemy has set up camp in any great numbers. They’re probably down to one or two hired killers- at most.”

Probably Gastro, a gunman with one hell of a weird habit. Lovro-sensei showed some displeasure at witnessing him _eat_ with a _gun_ , fully loaded and could easily go off inside of his own mouth. Now that gave me shivers, an adrenaline junkie, or something.

“Yeah! So let’s go murderize the rest!” Nice one, Terasaka, but leave the threats to Karma. Actually, leave all of the talking to Karma, makes everything so much easier.

“Okay, team; We’ll have to use the VIP-only emergency stairs to reach the next floor up. And to do that, we’ll have to go through the concert hall on the 8th floor.” Ah, thanks Ritsu, you're the literal backbone and brain of this team, but I don’t have the best feeling about going to the concert hall.

* * *

We’ve entered the pitch-black concert hall and have taken to hiding behind the seats. A man had walked onto the stage and was just standing there for a bit, probably trying to figure us out. He then shot up at the ceiling and my body flinched into a ready position. _Anything for them, everything for them._ If need be, to save my classmates, I would run headfirst into a spray of bullets just so that they can be safe. I’d do anything and everything for them, _all for them_.

“Just so you know, this hall is completely soundproof. I’ll fill you with lead before anyone comes to save you. You know that none of you have the guts to take a life.” You don’t know that. “Now come on out like good little children and bow before the boss-'' A gunshot cut him off, it seemed like Hayami was aiming for the gun but she missed. Now he's on guard and knows that at least one of us has a gun.

“Looks like this might be a job I can sink my teeth into!” He’s turned on the lights and damn were there a lot of them. They’re bright and all facing us, he’s using it to blind us and stop us from shooting at him.

“Feeling fine again today, with my tasty, tasty gun!” Gastro for sure. He had shot in between two seats, right where Hayami is. He marked her location because she fired, smart cookie, something that Lovro-sensei mentioned about Gastro is that he used to be a soldier. He has the fighting prowess as a veteran, retired or otherwise.

“I never forget the position of any enemy once they’ve fired. I used to be in the military, you see. My time there gave me a knack for pinpointing my enemies’ locations and having to identify guns with my tongue gave me a real taste for weaponry. Now, then… There should be one more stolen gun out there.” Real smart cookie. Luckily, our cookie is even smarter.

“Hayami! Remain standing by! You were wise not to fire just now, Chiba! The enemy still doesn’t know where you are! I’ll keep an eye on him and tell you when, so hang tight until it’s go time!” Korosensei was asked to be placed on a seat to help direct us, like I said, smarter cookie.

“Hey, quit staring at me from the front row!” Sorry mister crazy, but Korosnesie can’t do anything besides stare, and shooting at him won’t do anything besides waste your bullets… on second thought, if you keep shooting him, you’ll get there eventually! Just have to waste all your bullets on him! Hmm, my muteness is making cheering him on hard.

“An expert gunman versus junior-high students? I think it’s fair for them to have a slight handicap. Okay, Kimura, run five seats left! Terasaka and Yoshida, move three seats to either side! We’ve formed a blind spot! Kayano, use this chance to move two rows forward! Karma and Fuwa, move eight seats right! Isogai, five seats left!” The method is great but this dude is good at remembering, he’ll be able to track us.

“Student number 12! Move right and continue preparations! Numbers 4 and 6, film the target from between the seats! Use Ritsu to tell Chiba what’s happening on stage! Ponytail, move to the front-left! Motorcycle fan, you too! Two seats to the front-left! The person who visited Takebayashi’s favorite maid cafe out of curiosity and was alarmed to find he liked it, make a big racket to confuse the enemy!” I release a heavy exhale of air, I wonder who it is.

“Shaddap! How the hell did you know that?!” Terasaka! God damn this child, don’t you know that Korosensei knows all.

“Okay, Chiba, it’s time. After I give the next command, fire at will. Hayami, support him as the situation requires. You’re looking to block off the enemy’s movements. But before that, a word of advice for the two who don’t let their feelings show; When you failed to shoot me down earlier today, you began to doubt your own skill.” Korosensei really is the best.” You don’t whine or make excuses, and your classmates forced their confidence onto you, thinking ‘Surely _they_ can handle it.’ No one would notice your anguish. But that’s alright. You don’t have to bear all that pressure alone. If you miss, we’ll switch to plan B; shuffling people and guns around so no one can tell who’s pulling the trigger. We can use strategy because everyone here has gone through training and tasted failure. You have allies at your side who have shared your experience. So with that peace of mind, go ahead and fire.” 

Waiting on a calming silence, Sugaya lifts up his dummy and it gets effectively shot down, like a good distraction. And shuffling comes from farther back, Chiba is aiming to shoot. The bullet is let loose, it misses Gastro and he gets cocky. Then is smacked by the stage lights, a row of them that was going hung up. Even after all of that, Gastro still aims for Chiba, the tenacity of a pro can be scary if you're on the receiving end. Hayami shoots the gun out of his hand and the effects of being hit by a bunch of metal at a pretty fast swinging rate finally get him to collapse.

I watch in silent amusement as the class is once more taping up a pro, hopefully, Karma’s sadistic needs have been satisfied with everything he did with Grip. This poor dude can barely breathe, and I know the feeling.

Watching Chiba and Hayami interact it seems like their back to normal, if not even happier. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with this class that can feel much happier _after_ winning a fight that could have killed them. Then I remember what we do and who we are, and I think ‘but of course we’re weird, we have a giant yellow octopus as our teacher and target.’ 

Not the most normal of classrooms, but it’s ours.


	19. Chapter 19

The stairway to the top was in sight, Karasuma-sensei was back to his normal badass self and we were out of time. My grip on Korosensei tightened, using him as a hard stress ball to stop myself from digging my nails into my skin, I had a bad habit of clenching my fist until my nails made cuts.

I actually have scars all along my palm since I continuously clench my hands and my nails end up at or around the same spot every time, Shu doesn’t like it and asked if I could cut my nails but Hiromi would be pissed if I ‘undid all the hard work that she put in for me’ and I’ll be given the ‘you ungrateful child!’ talk- beating- again.

“Students! I’ve come to realize something about our mastermind waiting above. He’s using assassins all wrong.” Wait… Korosensei’s right! They could’ve been used so much more effectively! That could mean the mastermind is either not an assassin or did that purposefully but I doubt it’s the latter. “Lookout and guards… Those aren’t jobs for assassins. If their potential had been used to the fullest, they’d have been fearsome indeed.”

“Yeah, the gunman’s shot wasn’t even a single centimeter off the mark.” Of course, Chiba, if he’s a pro, he’d have to be good enough to be hired. If he was bad, then who would hire him and he would’ve either gone out of business or gone unknown and therefore never hired or he would’ve died a long time ago.

“And, Karma, if that fellow had snuck up on you from behind on any other day, he would have killed you instantly through sheer grip strength.” Haha, funny, ‘cause his name’s Grip… I’ll stop, for now.

“I suppose so,” Karma said, he was looking a bit paler than before.

“Time to assign roles to each of you. First off…” I lost focus on what Karasuma-sensei was saying when I realized that Terasaka wasn’t looking too good. Putting my hand on his forehead my eyes widened at how hot it was, he’s infected with the virus. I’m surprised he lasted this long.

“Nagisa?” I took out my phone and typed out what I wanted to say.

‘ You’re burning up, Terasaka, did you drink the juice? ’ He pushed my phone into my chest and looked around, panicked, he was making sure no one else read over his shoulder.

“Keep it on the down-low! I always got stamina to spare. It’ll go away by itself in no time!” Terasaka whispered. I swatted his hand away from my phone and got to typing.

‘ Are you insane! You’re going to hurt yourself, you need to tell the others! ’

“That damn Karasuma only got gassed ‘cause I had to go and run ahead when I did. And that’s not the first time my actions almost got everyone killed. I ain’t about to drop out now and drag everyone down even more!”

God damn it, your stupid pride can take the damage, you aren’t going to do anything if you go down! Idiot, here I am worried about your health and well being and you care about making it up to us? I’m pretty sure we all already forgave you when you saved Korosensei from Itona.

And yet he ran off with everyone else when Karasuma-sensei was done talking. I followed, but my head spun and I was still nauseous. We aren’t over the bad yet and I hate that.

* * *

Karasuma-sensei gave us the signal to walk forward, we all took up Namba, a silent walk used by ninja’s, apparently. There he was, the bastard that poisoned my friends and almost got the rest of us killed on our excursion to get to him.

I would’ve started listing other things that I would absolutely enjoy doing to him to show how utterly pissed off I am but, as we all got closer, I resisted the urge to throw up. Him, he’s back? My gut churned and it felt like all of my organs were doing flips. My instinct told me to take the gun Karasuma-sensei had and rush forward to end this all before it began. To knock him out or just straight up kill him, I wouldn’t mind being seen as a monster if it meant I got revenge for the fallen and the injured. For everything he put me through.

Everyone had gotten into position and Karasuma-sensei seemed ready to hit it off when the man behind it all spoke.

“Itchy. The very memory makes me itch. But maybe that’s why my senses have grown so much keener- because my wounds are always exposed to air.” I knew it was him, could sense him from a mile away. He threw a bunch of detonators into the air, all identical to the other. “Didn’t I tell you? I’ve come prepared to kill a Mach-20 monster. I brought spare detonator remotes in case one was snatched away at high speed. I have more than enough to press any one of them if I should fall.” He’s well prepared, he won’t be going down without a fight and I thi8nk I’m saying this for everyone here, we’ll all happily deliver that resistance.

“Of the people I couldn’t reach, there were three assassins and one other.” Another? I wasn’t informed of this, only the assassins. “An insider who vanished with Ministry of Defense secret-service funds and the assassination budget. What do you think you’re doing, Takaoka.” Oh, so he’s a criminal to the MoDs eyes too. Guess we have government back up too.

I hear gasps of surprise from everyone, is it really that much of a surprise. I kind of always had a nagging feeling that that wasn’t the last we’d seen of Takaoka back when he took over P.E. I brushed it off back then but now I’ve learned how valuable my instincts are.

I do have to point out, Takaoka, you’ve really let your  _ face _ go. I mean, killer bod- literally, I think- but you’ve got a  _ little something _ a bit everywhere on your face. Oh, wow, now I’m making fun of him in my own head just to keep myself from actually growling like a dog.

He’s dangerous, more so than just physically, what he’s done if making me lose significant control of my emotions. I’ll have to find a way to keep practicing to get back to normal, be Hirmoi’s perfect little doll, not an angry rabid beast ready for the shredded body of its foe.

I could barely pay attention to his voice- more like I didn’t want to register it, I hated it, it made my blood boil- but I could see him and the rest of the class going somewhere. I’m guessing we’re going to the rooftop, he’s probably got something planned.

Once we were stationary I started to search around, looking for snipers or ambushes. I couldn’t see any so I let my built-up Bloodlust help me out a little, unfortunately, for me to do this little trick Korosensei might sense me using it. He might pass it off as me just being  _ really _ angry or he might not notice since whatever that bastard is saying is pissing Korosensei off.

I let loose a calm and even stream of my Bloodlust to reach around every corner of the roof, every hiding spot to either snipe or rush us. It had gone through most of the rooftop without finding anyone. I would’ve loved to search more but I had gotten distracted by Takaoka’s raising voice and excessive scratching.  _ My mind tries to supply me with a joke about his scratching but I couldn’t care to pay attention. _

“Their humiliating glances, and that trick you pulled on me with a knife… Whenever they cross my mind, my face gets so itchy I can’t even sleep at night!” Ah, so he’s insane. That poses the question, what’s his view now on his life. Will he throw it away just to get at me for beating him before or does he still value his life like any normal person. “I’ll pay back my failure with results. I’ll take the humiliation I suffered and give it back in spades! And you’re first on my list, Shiota Nagisa!” No thank you- “I will  _ never _ forgive you for spoiling my future!” -I’m good!

“So when he asked for the shortest students, he was after Nagisa.” No shit sherlock.

“A completely unjustified grudge!” I agree the bitch should just let it go.

“Oh? So you wanted Nagisa here so you could settle the score?” What are you planning, Karma? “Would it make you happy, beating someone so much smaller than you? I could show you a much better time.” Karma, really?! Keep your fists in your pocket, your delinquent is showing.

“You’re nuts.” Established, but go on. “You only lost to Nagisa according to your own rules! Listen, whether you’d won or lost back then, we’d still hate your guts!” Were you not there when he was being his stupid creepy self back then, that’s obviously going to make him even more pissed.

“I don’t recall asking you little shits for your opinions!” Called it. “Don’t forget I could blow away half of you with one finger! You. Snake. Come upstairs alone.” No, aren’t you supposed to be the class dad? Dad’s always give you the ‘ don’t trust strangers and don’t follow strangers’ talk, right? You’re a bad dad.

“Nagisa, you can’t!” Kayano said, worry very evident in her tone.

I couldn’t sign any of my thoughts right now so I just passed her Korosensei and start walking up to the heliport.

“Get a mover on! Now!” Calm down! Damn, loud-ass- oops, family-friendly. Everyone seemed surprised at how willing I was to follow him, I even heard poor Hayami call my name. She probably feels horrible because I’ve done so much for her, what I've done for them all.

_ Anything for them, everything for them. _

_ All for them. _

* * *

Standing on the heliport, knives on the ground for a rematch, Takaoka takes out a remote and Karasuma-sensei immediately has his gun trained on Takaoka.

“Now, now, don’t take this the wrong way. I just don’t want you interrupting my precious time with Shiota Nagisa.” I don’t like that phrase, stop it. He pressed the remote and the bridge from the heliport to the other side, where everyone else was, fell into the rushing water below. Now that’s a bit of a problem.

“There. Now no one else can come up here. Do you understand what I’m trying to do?” Oh, you fuck nugget, you could ask me to do anything I am literally the last hope for half my classmates. A good bunch of them are my friends and I would do  _ anything _ to help them, even the most humiliating or painful thing you could ask, I would do it without hesitation. But yes, I get what’s going on here. “This is a rematch of our earlier fight.”

I would love to slice your neck right up but I think a more pacifist approach would be appreciated by everyone watching and even those lying sick in bed.

‘Can you understand my signs?’

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about that, I made sure to know how to understand you. Wouldn’t be satisfying if you’re begging for me to spare you in a way that I don’t understand, now is it.”

‘I didn’t come here for a fight-’

“Oh, I’m sure, little Snake. Those tricks of yours won’t work anymore. I can see myself doing you in, just like that. But if I do, it’ll be over too quickly to make me feel better. So before we fight, there’s something I need to do.” Like I said before, I’ll do anything. “Apologize. On your hands and knees. Atone wholeheartedly for having pulled a dirty sneak attack because you lack any real skill.”

I sit on my knees and lean down a little bit, an incline so I face his shoes and don’t have to look at his face. I raise my hands to sign up to him but he stops me.

“I wanna see your head on the ground, Snake!” I nod in response and lower my forehead to the ground, raising my hands once more to sign out my apology.

‘I have no real skill, so I pulled a dirty sneak attack. I’m sorry.’

“Oh, and after that, you acted like a big shot. Glaring me down behind your classmates, as I recall it.” Takaoka has now slammed his foot onto my head and is pressing down with each punctuated word. ”Is that any way for a brat like you to treat an adult? Is that any way for a student to look at his teacher?!” It’s gotten harder to sign but I try my best anyway.

‘I’m just a brat and a student, and it  was wrong of me to talk back to an adult- a teacher. I’m very sorry.’ He laughed rather creepily at that, removing his foot from my head and I raised up, still seated.

“Now you’re speaking from the heart. Your dear dad is so pleased! I’ll let you in on a little something in return. I asked Smog what happens to people who die from that virus. He showed me some pictures. What a laugh! Their bodies, covered in boils! Faces like a bunch of grapes! Wouldn’t you like to see that, Nagisa?” My vision narrows and suddenly adrenaline is pumping in my veins, I watch the thrown case explode, I can hear glass shattering. 

He destroyed it, he  **_killed_ ** them. I imagine Sugino and Kanzaki, Maehara, Rio, Hazama, and Tersaka. All like how he described them. Suddenly I feel like going back and actually making sure Smog is dead- No, Smog isn’t to blame. He’s just doing as he’s told, Takaoka is to blame.

After Takaoka calmed down from whatever high he had and finished laughing he continued taunting me, “You ought to keep a summer journal like you’d do for plants, and write down every detail as your friends’ faces bubble in agony!” And he gets back to laughing like a maniac.

I have to resist the urge to throw up once again as it all hits me, the images of what their corpses would look like, Terasaka’s fear-ridden face. I hold my stomach and cover my mouth, my stomach doing somersaults. My heartbeat is loud and I can hear Takaoka laughing, but it’s all washed out by the blood rushing around through my body.

Everything I’ve been dealing with, from school to home all seems insignificant to this. Before it was all me, I was the one dealing with it, every mistake I made I got the consequences for. But now, right here, right now, it’s my friends’ lives on the line, not mine. It was never mine, that's why I spoke to that perverted man before. That’s why, at this moment, I could care less about how they think of me.

I reach for the knife, dragging it closer to me, the sound alerts Takaoka. My shaking, uneven breath slows down and I let out deep breaths. I raise the knife and slowly get to my feet, my shaking body slowly stilling, every movement is intentional and minimal. I look right into Takaoka’s eyes and he seems to understand that he’s going to get what he wants, we are going to fight and I am no longer going to play the meek prey. He licks his lips as he did before, and his expression shows that he’s content, he’s happy that I’m willing to fight him.

“That’s right. That’s the way. That’s the spirit! Come and kill me, show them what you truly are, little Snake!” 

I could hear the others muttering to each other, or was it that I just couldn’t hear them very well? Nonetheless, I could tell they were put off by me and my show of Killing intent. Korosensei was probably going to try and call out to me but instead, I felt something hit my torso. Looking down I could see that it was a stun gun, picking it up I looked to Terasaka, who’s looking even worse.

“Don’t be getting cocky, Nagisa! I saw that pitiful way you looked at me when that medicine got blown up! Quit worrying about other people, ya damn wimp! This virus will go away by itself with a good night’s sleep!” The others cried out as the realization hit them. “Murder is murder, even if it’s a piece of trash like that. You gonna give in to the crazy and throw your chance at then billion out the window?” I’m sorry, Terasaka.

“Terasaka’s right, Nagisa, killing him isn’t worth it, and being in a blind rage will only work against you. Besides, he doesn’t know anything about the remedy. We’ll ask the poisoner downstairs. Just knock him out, that's enough.“ I’m sorry Korosensei.

“Hey now, quit being a wet blanket! If he doesn’t come at me with true killing intent, then what’s the point? I’ll use this Snake’s bloodlust for revenge in the most humiliating way, and finally, my own shame will disappear!” 

“Nagisa, take Terasaka’s stun gun. His life, or my life. His words, or Terasaka’s words. Think carefully now; which are more worthy?” I’m sorry, teachers. The sound of a body hitting the ground made me turn my attention to Teraska, Kimura, and Yoshida worrying about Terasaka, who collapsed.

“Shaddap. You wanna look at something, look there. Do it, Nagisa. Kill him to within an inch of his life.” I’m sorry, classmates. I reach down to pick up the stun gun and use my belt as a holder for it.

“I’m sorry…” I barely get out, my voice getting caught in the wind to never be heard by human ears.

“I see you're determined to use the knife. That’s a relief. Oh, and just so you know, I do have some spare vial of that remedy. If you don’t come at me like you mean it, or if your pals get in the way, you can kiss these babies goodbye. Hear that, Karasuma? Stay out of this! This stuff takes a good month to make. There’s not enough for everyone, but it is your last hope.”

Now that Takaoka’s focus is back on me I can finally prey on him like the predator I am.

I start to walk one way and Takaoka seems to understand that I’m going in a circle. Following along with a laugh of unstable glee, his smile only grows as he stares into my eyes, seeing all of the killing intent that I have bottled up from throughout this entire journey. Watching him closely, I determine the best way to end this quickly. I put the knife in my belt and took off my jacket, bunching it up in one hand and stopped my circling. He stopped too, seemingly curious as to what I am doing.

I stand stock-still for a tense second before loosening my body stance and putting a large amount of my Bloodlust on standby. I have a plan that needs everything to work like gears, so it’s better to be ready now then have to fumble around inches away from being stabbed.

Rushing forward I reel my hand back and throw my bunched up shirt at Takaoka, taking in the wind I threw it off course to let the wind carry it to Takaoka’s face. In succession I let out the large amount of Bloodlust I kept at the ready and let it surround Takaoka, letting it plague his mind and making it harder to focus on every, the jacket, me, my weapons.

I quickly take out the stun gun and stab Takaoka, using extra Bloodlust to make it feel like I was using the knife to stab him. Not giving Takaoka any time to recover I quickly tap the button and let out a quick current of electricity to his gut, I reel my hand back and place the stun gun back in my belt-holster.

Rushing sideways, and taking out my knife, I target his shoulder and go to stab it. Last second I see a hand swing at my outstretched arm, I push back and watch a smile split on Takaoka’s face.

“Still using your stupid little tricks! You didn’t learn, did you? Guess Dad will have to remind you why we’re here in the first place!” Takaoka then rushes at me, punching me in my face and in my gut, one after the other. I get pushed back and I try my best to catch my breath but Takaoka is unrelenting.

_ It feels like I’m back at home, Hiromi in Takaoka’s place, the pain subsides and I can feel my mind retreating so it can wait for the storm to blow over. _

An idea pops into my head, it’s stupid and will probably reward me with bruises and a hell of a lot of pain but I used to it, this is nothing. The first chance I get to, I put my knife back into my belt-holster and get my legs kicked out from under me. Making sure to not get hit with my own knife was priority number one but, aside from that, I let myself crumble to the ground, like a ragdoll.

When I didn’t get back up and didn’t move from my position on my side- the side with the taser holstered, not the knife- I heard cries of my name from my classmates and teachers. Soon their cries of worry and fear were drowned out by Takaoka’s laughter. He found this all too funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast beating the hell out of me, like this is the stuff he gets off to. 

_ Ew, I should stop that, focus on the battle, stop being an utter disaster. _

“So that’s it, you try once then fall to the ground like a doll. Where’s that ‘I’ll kill you’ look from before, where’s your ‘I’m the predator here’ look? Was that all a bravado, like a harmless snake posing as a poisonous predator.” 

Takaoka reached down and lifted my upper body by my hair, dragging my face close to his- that stupid smile still on his face.

“Is this really all you’ve got?” I want to punch him so hard but I know my weak arms won’t do a thing to someone who’s twice my size. “Huh, this is disappointing. At least I had some fun pushing you around.” He then let go of my hair and I let my body drop like I was boneless, Takaoka got a little kick to my ribs that almost made me flinch. It’s much harder to pretend to disassociate than to actually disassociate.

He crouched down and poked my cheek a little, like if he was wondering if I was alive or not, then turned to look at our audience.  _ Perfect! _

I reach for my knife, I’ve gotten Takaoka’s attention back and he’s noticed where I am reaching. I make it look like I’ll stab Takaoka, getting close enough to nick his shoulder, but then throw the knife off to the side, my eyes locked on Takaoka’s eyes to make sure they follow the knife. I lift my body a little higher and clap, as loud as I can, right in Takaoka’s face.

He reels back, landing on his butt, and I rise even more into a crouch. I reach for the stun gun and jump onto his chest, smirking when I hear a strangled puff of air force its way out of Takaoka’s lungs.  _ My friends have been sharing their lunch with me and I’ve gained more weight, it all mostly went into my muscles since I train. _

I place the stun gun right on Takaoka’s neck, putting a little bit of pressure. Takaoka is more coherent now and is looking at me with fear- pure, unadulterated fear. A victorious smirk isn’t how I should end this, no, this man just killed off a bunch of my classmates, how should I  _ repay _ him.

_ With nightmares. The bastard deserves it. I want him to remember this every time he closes his eyes, this will be ingrained into the inside of his eyelids. He will never forget me and what he’s done to me for as long as his heart is pumping. _

I give him the most innocent, nicest, kindhearted smile I could ever produce and whisper, “Thank you, and see you in hell.” And I deliver an electric shock to his neck, knocking him out and, my body loosens and lose all feeling, my vision slowly fades to black as I topple off of Takaoka's body. I can barely see the others jumping over and rushing to get to me.

* * *

I woke up with a jolt, but someone gently ushered me back lying down. It took a couple of blinks before my vision became clear again and I could see Karma’s relieved smile. Taking in my surroundings a bit more I could see that everyone else was there, all happy faces and smiling. I was also in a huge tin can, I would’ve been confused if it weren’t for the loud sound of the helicopter blades turning.

“How’re you feeling, Nagisa?” Karma asked, petting my head gently. I was suddenly aware that I was in his lap, I would’ve started freaking out but I was too dizzy.

‘Is everyone ok?’

“Everyone’s fine, the poisoner went against Takaoka’s wishes and used a stronger version of a stomach bug, harmless and would’ve eventually gone away.” Karma explained gently, continuing his hypnotic motion of petting me. I give him a sleepy smile and turn towards his stomach, curling towards him and closing my eyes.

Everyones safe, I did it, we did it.

_ I did anything for them, I did everything for them. _

* * *

Although I was covered with bandages and I had a couple of ice packs on swelling bruises I still enjoyed watching everyone being so energetic. I couldn't take my eyes off of whatever they were all doing like I was continuously trying to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, that this was all real. They’re all safe and sound and it’s not a fabrication. 

I feel happy, at home, especially now that Korosensei is back to his normal self- tentacles and all.

“You did well, Nagisa,” Korosensei said, approaching me from behind and petting my head.

And that was the end of our assassination vacation, and a very rough start- for me anyway- of our second term.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING;  
> Mentions of SUIDICAL THOUGHTS and even partially a SUICIDE ATTEMPT  
> CHILD ABUSE and PHYSICAL VIOLENCE  
> Some SWEARING (They are sometimes cut off because Nagisa tries his best to be family-friendly)
> 
> If you are uncomfortable with any of the warnings mentioned above then it is best you don't read this chapter.
> 
> P.S At this point, you should realize that this entire fanfic is very violent and not for easily disturbed readers. This fanfic will contain Suicidal Thoughts, Elements of Self-Harming, Child Abuse and Neglect, Violence, Rape and Sexual Harassment, and Panic Attacks. I may write things that aren't on this list but understand that this is the kind of fanfic I am writing.
> 
> KNOW YOUR LIMITS WHEN READING THIS.

I was feeling a bit antsy, I wanted to go to the festival with everyone else but I feared what Hiromi would say. Actually, it was less what she would say and more what she would pull out of her closet. If I knew her, and I did, very much so, I know she would take this opportunity to dress me up. And boy, do I know her!

Hiromi excitedly pushed me out of the house with a yukata on. She had done exactly what I thought she would do, she pulled out a beautiful yukata, it started out a dark blue at the bottom and got lighter like a gradient. On the yukata was a design of a vine of lilac-purple flowers kind of everywhere, it looked and felt very expensive and I felt nervous wearing it like I couldn’t let it touch the ground or else it’ll break.

I hated this, I hated it so much, I had to walk to the festival in this fancy mess of blue and purple, that’s obviously for  _ girls _ , and then all my classmates will see me in this horrendously beautiful yukata. The closer to the festival I got the more nervous I got, I was debating whether or not I should just go hide in the nearby wooded area and maybe just sit down and find myself a good view of the fireworks. Hmm, yes, that actually sounds much better than the embarrassment I would get from walking around in a crowded area with my classmates, who I am stuck with for possibly my whole life- ‘cause it’ll end soon.

Nodding to myself I start my hike up into the woods, trying to stay away from all the loud people and brightly lit stands. I walked the outskirts of the festival and saw a couple of my classmates and Korosensei, they all seemed to be having fun and enjoying themselves. I’m glad. Wandering farther from the festival I try to find a place to relax and watch the fireworks, it feels like I’ve been walking for a long time and I can barely hear the festival anymore.

The quiet may have felt good but I’m pretty sure I’m a bit lost. Heaving a heavy sigh I turn around and start walking in a straight line, the festival lights have come into view but on the other side of when I first walked into the forest. I shrug it off and continue forward, reaching some fencing. Inside the fencing was Terasaka, Yoshida, and Muramatsu all playing basketball. I'm a bit startled to find them here but I quickly and quietly try to sneak back into the forest to go around them.

“Hey, Nagisa, is that you?” Muramatsu calls out and I can hear the two others stop to look too. I don’t want to be rude so I turn back around and wave shyly to them.

“Nagisa? Why’re you wearing a yukata?” Yoshida said, jogging up to the fence. I walk towards the fence as well, pulling out my phone to type what I want to say.

‘ My mother wanted me to wear this, she likes to dress me up like a girl sometimes.’ I type out, a robotic voice reading what I typed and saying it for me.

“I thought you didn’t like to crossdress? I mean, you sure as hell didn’t like it back at Okinawa.” Terasaka said. It takes me a second to think of an excuse but I’ve gotten extremely good at lying and making excuses, not that I’m proud of that.

‘ It’s fine, kind of, I was just embarrassed to be seen in such girly clothes by my classmates.’

“So you’re fine being seen by us in a yukata?” Muramatsu said.

‘ Men wear yukatas too!’ I typed out quickly and showed them it all rather aggressively, they all seem amused by me.

“Yeah, but none as pretty as that one” Yoshida said, pointing at my yukata which was obviously for girls. I pointed right back at him and he struggled to not laugh.

“Anyway, I’m guessing you're stuck wearing a yukata and don’t want to be seen by everyone else at the festival, right?” Terasaka said, a gentle smile making its way onto his face. “I think I’m speaking for all of us when I say that you’re welcome to hang out with us.” Muramatsu and Yoshida nod in agreement with what Terasaka said.

“Why don’t you come around, I’ll give you my blouse if you want,” Yoshida said, pointing behind him to the gate. I give a nod and start walking around.

I enter the basketball court and gently close the fence gate behind me, Yoshida comes up to me and starts to take off his blouse and hands it to me. I take it gratefully and put it on over my yukata, Muramatsu dribbles the ball closer to me and gives me the ball.

“Do you want to play with us?” Muramatsu said, gesturing to the basketball hoop. 

‘ I don’t know how to, though.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you. I mean, I doubt you’ll be able to run around in a yukata but-” I cut Terasaka off by grabbing the end of my yukata and bringing it up to tuck it into my obi (the belt), it now reaches around my knees. I look up at Terasaka with determination and start dribbling the basketball.

“Ah. Didn’t you say that you don’t know how to play?” Yoshida said with a raised eyebrow.

‘ I know enough to be able to dribble a ball and throw it at a hoop, the basic rules, and stuff. But I don’t know any techniques nor am I tall enough to actually play, it wouldn’t be very fun for me. ’

All three of them seem to be simultaneously trying to hold their laughter back and feeling sorry for me. In my annoyance I threw the basketball at Terasaka, although he just caught it I think he understood my irritation.

“Alright, alright, keep all that energy for the court,” Muramatsu said, coming closer and patting my head.

‘ We are already on the court.’ I typed out, barely waiting for the voice to start before I grab the basketball from Terasaka and dribble closer to the hoop.

“Oh, it’s on!” Yoshida said, rushing towards me to try and get the ball away from me. Muramatsu seems to have taken Yoshida’s side, so I look to Terasaka and see him nod to me. A big smile bursts onto my face as I pass to Terasaka and start running around, trying to get into a better position.

It was barely a minute in and my face was starting to hurt from smiling so much.

\-----------------

Ah… That’s gonna be one big pudding. My mind can barely form any sort of response to the huge mold we just finished filling up in front of me, it’s huge! Actually, this makes me wonder, can Korosensei be affected by calories? Like, does he get fatter? If he does, then wear on his body does he get fatter? Hmm, after this I might just ask him.

Anyway, after finishing Kayano’s Pudding Popper plan, my upper body was aching. I can’t complain though, I saw that some of the boys, especially Terasaka, had jobs that would have killed me, or at least pulled my muscles and snapped my brittle bones. Nonetheless, I’m happy all of our hard work paid off, the huge pudding was almost complete, tomorrow was the day where we remove the mold and hope and pray that everything holds.

\--------------------------

No matter how happy I was that everything held up, and it does look delicious, I’m a bit bummed out that I couldn’t use the flamethrower. I mean, I was surprised they even let children handle something like that but they did and I wanted to be that child. Anyway, moving away from deadly fire, I was watching very closely to see if Korosensei was getting any bigger as he ate through the giant pudding. I know it’s stupid but I kept thinking about it all day long and I’m genuinely curious.

As I watched helplessly as Kayano freaked out over her pudding creation being exploded, I couldn’t help but sigh as the feeling that we didn’t succeed crept in. I waited to hear the familiar sound of air whipping all around us as Korosensei announced he somehow knew of the bomb and took care of it. I took out my notebook and flipped it to the clearest page for Korosensei, I’ve already filled a couple of other pages that were dedicated to Korosensei. I wandered off from the group writing up a storm as the wind kicked up and everyone gasped in surprise.

I finally finished my observations and placed my notebook back on my desk, my empty hands were immediately filled with a glass full of pudding and a spoon. I looked to Korosensei, who was conversing with other students, and shook my head. I couldn’t eat this, it’s too sweet and my stomach would feel bad after it since I’m not used to eating such sweet and sugary foods. Korosensei seems to have realized my sadness stared at me pointedly. I just gave him a half-hearted smile, walked over to his desk, and placed my pudding on it. I then proceeded to walk towards Kayano and Karma, who were talking a bit.

‘I didn’t think you could be so hardcore. It was fun and out of the ordinary, too. Well, not like anything here is ordinary, to begin with.’ Kayano giggled a little at that.

“Not even your closest friends get to see your true blade.” Kayano said, pointing to Korosensei and he gave her his “correct” face. Even though the atmosphere seemed all light-hearted and happy, I felt chills travel up and down my spine, making goosebumps rise up all over my body. I even gave a slight shudder, my arms stiffened and I brought them closer to my body, my heart started racing and my breathing quickened.

Something wasn’t right with that, I felt it briefly but that was all it took. There was a hidden double meaning to what she just said, and it involved her  _ closest friends _ and her  _ true blade. _

My sight zeroed in on her eyes, watching the emotion flicker behind them, the expressions trying to creep their way onto her face. She’s like me, not the abuse but the acting. She’s an actress, she acts, like me. If I could realize that then did she, did she already see through me? I suddenly didn’t feel safe anymore, not even with any of my other friends.

Right now, in this time where Kayano, a  _ very _ close friend of mine, could have been lying to me this entire time for god knows why, none of my friends were to be trusted. None of my classmates were to be trusted. None of my teachers were to be trusted. I was alone until I could get better at identifying lying friends like Kayano, until I could easily and quickly see any and all underlying wants, needs, and motives. Until I can make sure that Kayano, and maybe some others, can’t see behind all of my acting and lying, all of my excuses and hard-earned skills. Because if children can see through me then only god knows how easily Hiromi saw through me, how much she saw, and how much she misunderstood in that mentally unstable mind of hers.

\-----------------------

Right now, we’re playing our twist of cops and robbers. All of the students and Bitch sensei are robbers while Karasuma-sensei and Korosensei are the cops, although only Karasuma-sensei is allowed to chase after us, not like that’s any better. He’s like a wolf, he can hear us, see our movement through the debris. He’s an expert hunter, and we’re amateur runners.

I have to say, my determination to stay in the game is very high right now. Normally I don’t really care but now something’s on the line. Korosensei was hesitant to let me participate, he was going off on how dangerous it was and how I could hurt myself doing this or how Karasuma-sensei could be too rough with me. Karasuma-sensei seemed to take offense from that and they then started bickering, I dealt with it by reminding Korosensei of Okinawa. He shut right up after that, but he was still worried and I felt bad for that so I told him that I would keep my phone on me and Ritsu could alert both Korosensei, Karasuma-sensei and any nearby students that I am in danger or that I am hurt and in need of help. 

Although he liked that system he still said that if I  _ do _ get hurt or get into danger that I would not be allowed to do any other activities like this one. Now I just have to be careful to prove myself to Karasuma-sensei and Korosensei but I also have to last rather long to prove my worth to the other students who still dislike me.

Ritsu alerted me that Karasuma-sensei was let loose and I immediately separated from the group I was running with, taking to the trees. I used my unhealthy lack of weight to climb as high as I could and I got comfortable. Karasuma-sensei wouldn’t be able to reach this high up, at least if he wasn’t trying to get me. He can still comfortably push all of his weight and more on the branches below so I have to keep out of sight. I heard the sound of footsteps crushing in the leaves off to the left, where Karasuma-sensei came from.

I still my breathing and use everything I know about stealth and becoming ‘invisible’ to hide my presence and watch as Karasuma-sensei darts up to my tree. He seemed to be tracking my trail through the leaves, he stands at the end of my trail for a good second or two-  _ I let out a small breath from my nose, trying to keep it calm and steady _ \- Karasuma-sensei’s eyes dart up the tree and meet mine. I start to breathe normally again and focus on him as he starts climbing up the tree. My body stiffens as I watch his hands lift his body onto a certain branch, a second before he’s situated I whistle loudly- imitating the effects of the clapstunner but with a whistle- and jump off the branches and onto the next tree.

_ Okajima, Hayami, Chiba and Fuwa are out. Sugaya and Bitch-sensei are out.  _

I jump to a pair of branches lower and continue through the trees, slowly descending to the lowest branches. I jump down and continue running, I can hear Karasuma-sensei following me, not closely and probably by sound mostly. Up ahead I hear the footfalls of unfortunate students that I will use to help me lose Karasuma-sensei.

_ Okajima, Hayami, Chiba, Fuwa, and Sugaya escaped. I nod to Ritsu and sign my thanks to her for not announcing all of these things out loud, luckily she knows of the stakes. _

I get closer to the batch of classmates and once they are in my sights I run up a rock and back into the trees, scuttling my way up to the top and stilling myself, lowering my presence and hoping Karasuma gets distracted.

_ Kimura, Yada, Hara and Takebayashi are out! _

I see Karasuma-sensei call who I suspect to be Korosensei, and it’s confirmed after he starts yelling about prisoners escaping and not letting the new batch of prisoners escape. Unfortunately, that batch was my sacrifice to losing Karasuma-sensei, on the other hand, I got away from Karasuma-sensei and live on to prove myself.

I moved around a bit, following the trails Karasuma-sensei was after all in the safety of the treetops, as well as the distance I put between us.

_ Kimura, Yada, Hara, and Takebayashi escaped. _

I hear Karasuma-sensei stop up ahead and I get a little curious so I close in, my footsteps never make a sound as I connect with the branches, I try to move closer to Karasuma-sensei as quietly as possible. Right now, I am above Karasuma-sensei, my heart is racing but I’ve managed to keep my breathing slow and steady. Every move I make is quiet and never shakes the sturdy branches.

I smile a little shakily, this feeling, the adrenaline rushing through me, the feeling of being so close to defeat and yet so far. My eyes sharpen with a predator like glee, I was no longer hiding, I was going to hunt the hunter. Karasuma-sensei rushes forward, seemingly on a trail, and I follow along seamlessly, the thrill of the situation making it all the much better.

\---------

Ritsu calls the game over, the time has run out. For the rest of the game after the initial contact made with Karasuma-sensei, I had been following him. But not like before, now I was on top of him, if one of my footsteps fell out of line with his then it’d be game over. I had been matching his footsteps and even with that, I continued to try my best to make minimal sound. I had been following Karasuma-sensei chase after Karma, Sugino, Kayano, and Manami.

I proved myself to Korosensei and Karasuma-sensei that I could safely play these games along with everyone else, hopefully, they’ll stop babying me so much. I even proved that I am as much an asset as anyone else in 3-E, I survived without ever being tagged…

Somehow it feels like I wasn’t really trying to prove anything to them, like I’m using that as a cover-up. Guess even after all I’ve been through, I still feel weak and insignificant to everyone else, not like doing this changed anything, I doubt it’d be able to get out of prison like the others did. I’m still the weak link, and a team is only as good as their weakest link.

_ I’m glad my uselessness hasn't been affecting everyone else and their effectiveness as a team. _

\-----------------

Watching as everyone huddles around a magazine that has headlines stating that a ’yellow menace targets F-Cups and above’ and ‘Underwear thief on the loose!’ I don’t know whether to feel bad or feel disturbed, not at Korosensei. I know that Korosensei wouldn’t do something like this, to him, our trust is invaluable and he would do anything to make sure we never lose it. What disturbs me really is that whoever is doing this either knows of Korosensei and how precious our relationship with Korosensei is to him or someone who lives a life full of coincidences and this just so happens to be one. I believe the first guess a little bit more. 

This kind of this would obviously be to lure Korosensei out to stop someone who’s maiming his name, in our eyes since no one else knows of him. Or maybe to lure one of the students to capture them and use them, against Korosensei, because our true thief knows that we’re a very big weakness to Korosensei.

This kind of information isn’t just given, it’s either observed or they’ve seen it in action. Observed then it would be Lovro, The Ministry of Defence- although I really doubt either of the two would do something like this- Gastro, Grip and/or Smog- since they all saw how precious we are to our teachers- or, unfortunately, this has to be an option I entertain because it is the most likely, Shiro and Itona. Shiro knows of Korosensei’s weaknesses, even more than we do, and they are the readiest to deal with Korosensei.

_ I still really want it to be a random creep that has nothing to do with Korosensei and more to do with a random pervert who really likes yellow. _

\-------------------

As Korosensei makes his way out of the classroom, I can’t help but want to try and cheer him up. He obviously wouldn’t do such a thing, I’ve been observing him since day one, he wouldn’t do such a crime. He talked to us about smoking, he didn’t have to be he did and he tried to keep us away from it. He wouldn’t be so creepy, even if the evidence says otherwise, and I’m not talking about the bras and papers stating girls’ cups sizes.

“We really put him through the wringer today, huh. Guess he couldn’t stand the heat.” Karma, I swear to whatever holy being or otherwise, I will slap the shit out of you. Sorry, I swore, oops, I guess.

‘But did he really do it? I mean, It’s a serious crime.’ I signed to Karma, I heard Ritsu translating it to the rest of the class.

“Compared to blowing up the earth, it’s downright adorable.”

‘Yeah, well wouldn’t Korosensei know the consequences of doing this, with our trust.’

“You’re right. If I were a Mach-20 underwear thief, I sure wouldn’t leave such shoddy evidence behind. “ Karma threw a basketball at me, I caught it and immediately set it down to not have to touch the pink bra strapped onto it. “A ball from the equipment shed. Like you said, he’d have to know that if he did this, he’d be dead to us as a teacher. For that teaching-mad monster, I’d think losing our trust with this nonsense is right up there with getting assassinated in terms of things he wants to avoid.”

‘Glad you agree, Karma. If it was anyone I needed on my side, it sure as hell was going to be you.’ Alright, I might not want to slap him out of existence now.

“But then… who?” Kayano asked.

“An imposter.” There goes Fuwa, our resident detective. “That color, his laugh… Make no mistake; it’s a fake Sensei! The old hero-movie bad-guy trope in action! So the culprit is someone deeply familiar with Korosensei. Ritsu! Look for clues with me!”

“Sure!” Ritsu then changed her outfit so that she looked like a detective.

“Something along those lines, anyway. I don’t know why they’d do something like this, but if this rumor rides our bountied buddy out of town, we’ll lose everything. Let’s beat the real criminal silly and put that octopus in our debt.” Of course, what did I expect out of Karma. He’s doing it for the money, just like everyone else. 

\-------------------

So we’ve now trespassed and are staring at a bunch of bras being hung out to dry, apparently belonging to an idol group. I’m starting to feel a little weird, nobody else seems affected by how weird this all is.

While monitoring our surroundings in the hopes of finding our thief we see the real Korosensei moving in some bushes. He looks to be in a weird black getup.

“Sure looks like a thief in that getup.” I agree with you, Terasaka.

“Look! He’s so mad at the actual culprit, he’s looking at the underwear and getting all worked up!” Fuwa, are you seriously seeing it like that? Even if I don’t think Korosensei is the thief I still know why he's getting ‘all worked up’.

“I just can’t see him as anything  _ but _ the bad guy!” Wow, hey there, Terasaka, watch it. I slap his arm gently and gave him a pointed look, he simply raised his arms and surrendered.

“Hey, over there…” Karma said, getting everyone’s attention.

“Someone’s here! A big guy with a yellow head!” Kayano pointed out.

We watched as he stole the underwear with an unsettling amount of ease and started running off, we were all ready to chase him but Korosensei beat us to him. I was about to smile and start to feel happy that all of this was cleared up when a rush of nausea and dizziness hit me. I stumbled back a bit and bumped into Karma, Terasaka had stopped to grab at me too. They both held me and kept asking if I was okay, I couldn’t sign to them when my hands were over my mouth.

All of the symptoms released their hold on me before I watched as Korosensei was trapped in a weird white cage. Anger and annoyance flared up in me as I watched as Shiro came out of nowhere. This white-ass bitch!

“I negotiated with the government to borrow one of Karasuma-sensei’s men. He lured you right into this pen of anti-sensei sheets. It’s what your students did on that southern island.” What the hell, he was there!? How come I couldn’t feel him watching us? Oh, I hate him for a whole other reason now, this bitch is out of my league by miles. But if he’s going to be such a fuc- freaking nuisance, then I have to catch up. “Youngsters have such limber minds. First confine, then strike. Now then, Korosensei. Let your final death match begin.”

This bugger brought his little doll? If Shiro holds himself so high and mighty why doesn’t he just fight Korosensei instead of using his little pet? From a rooftop somewhere Itona came and jumped just above the pen.

“Korosensei… compared to me, you are weak.”

I watch on in horror as Korosensei is trapped and helpless to the onslaught of attacks by Itona. A new kind of nausea overcomes me and I kneel on the ground, feeling around I come up empty when I remember that we never brought any weapon. I could try and strangle Shiro but that isn’t only knocking him out, I could easily crush his throat and he could die. I know from experience that Korosensei doesn’t want me killing people… but he wouldn’t know- who am I kidding, my little audience would tattle immediately. That and, if I go after Shiro, would  _ Itona  _ come after me. I know for a fact I can’t beat Itona, he’s in a league of his own, just like Korosensei.

I’m once again completely and utterly useless, I can’t do anything for Korosensei. He’s done so much for me, even if he doesn’t realize it, and yet I can’t do a single thing. I couldn’t comfort him, I couldn’t save him. What’s stopping me? What’s holding me back?

I watch with emotionless eyes as Korosensei easily handles the situation and deals with not only the anti-sensei sheets but also Itona. He learns whenever he teaches, every assassination attempt on his life is another learning experience for him… My eyes water up but I blick away the tears, I can’t do anything but take Korosensei’s example, the answers to my questions will come in time, or maybe not, for all we know, I could be dead by March.

“So there you have it, Shiro. Leave him to the E Class and go quietly. Oh, and… spread the  _ accurate _ word that I am  _ not _ an underwear thief!”

“And I’m actually a B-cup! A B-cup!”

Itona then rolled out of Korosensei’s arms-... tentacles and started to cry out in pain. His tentacles seem to have a mind of their own.

“With the shock of his repeated defeats, his tentacles are starting to gnaw away at his mind… Itona, if this is all you’re capable of, the Organization will stop paying. It’s not that I don’t feel for you, but we have to cut our losses at some point if only to get the next model up and running. This is goodbye, Itona. You’re on your own now.”

“Wait! What kind of guardian are you, anyway?” Korosensei called out after Shiro, who was walking away.

“Quit playing school, you monster. All you can do is break things- break everything. I will not countenance your existence. I wish only for your death… no matter what the sacrifice. Say are you sure you dear students are okay like that?” Shiro said and hopped over some bushes, disappearing from sight.

Just after he said that Itona’s tentacle lashed out towards us and Korosensei appeared before us to counter it. As we watch Itona runoff, Korosensei falls over, laying on his back with a tired expression.

“As you might imagine, I’m pooped. Time for a little rest.” I nod and crawl over to Korosensei placing my hand over one of his tentacles and giving him the best smile I can possibly make in my more emotionless state. Sitting next to him I feel a tentacle make its way into my hair, taking the hair ties out and massaging my scalp.

\---------

After resting for a bit Ritsu pulled up the news, and it showed us reports of multiple attacks on cell phone shops all throughout Kunugigaoka.

“This has got to be…” Ritsu said.

“It’s him, alright,” Terasaka confirmed.

“But why cell phone shops?” Good question, Fuwa.

“What should we do, Sensei?” Kayano asked.

“As his teacher, I’ll take responsibility and stop him. I have to find him, protect him!”

“I think it’d be wiser to leave him alone.” Karma’s thought about this, but he hasn’t thought about who his teacher is.

“Even so, I’m his teacher.” Korosensei then changed back into his usual outfit. “Don’t let go of your students, no matter what. When I became a teacher, that was my vow.”

\----------

We’ve finally gotten to Itona sitting against the wall, looks like he’s in a lot of pain.

“Your human face is showing at last, Itona.” 

“Big brother…”

“‘Korosensei’, if you please. After all, I’m your teacher. “

“Don’t be going nuclear on us, now, Itona. You put us through a lotta stuff, but we’ll let it slide. Just come with us quietly.” Terasaka said, his body language showing that he’s pretty relaxed despite the situation at hand.

“Shut up! We battle. This time… I’ll win.” Itona said while getting up, he really seems hung up over his losses, there’s obviously more to him than a Korosensei killing machine. Shiro used Itona’s bad point, which seems to be his hatred of losing, and used it to trick Itona into probably becoming another experiment with the tentacle stuff.

“Of course we can battle. Maybe we two state secrets can find a vacant lot somewhere. Afterwards, We’ll study ways to kill me while enjoying a little barbecue together.” Korosensei is so strong, not only physically but mentally too, he lets things like this breeze over him. He’s never truly fazed, only disoriented or confused, he can always get his bearings when shit hits the fan. I admire him, if only…

“He’s a persistent one, that octopus. Once he takes over, he’ll go to the depths of hell to teach you.” That’s a rather accurate description, good one, Karma.

“Of course! Put a student in front of me, and my instinct is to want to teach him or her.” Right after Korosensei said that mini-explosions released powder, it was hard to breathe and to see. I could hear my classmates cough and cry out in surprise, I quickly lifted the collar of my sweater to cover my nose and mouth. I reach out to Korosensei, wanting to make sure he’s safe, and I feel something weird. Taking a closer look I can see that he’s melting a bit, the powder must somehow be made of anti-sensei material. 

“Setting Itona adrift was all part of the plan, Korosensei.” Through the white powder, I can barely make out the figure of Shiro, along with at least four other people. I quickly move away from Korosensei as three of the other figures start shooting at him, I watch his vague form shift around at high speeds. “Come now, Itona- your final duty.”

The fourth figure beside Shiro shoots a net onto Itona, Korosensei calls Itona’s name, worried about what Shiro’ll do to Itona. They load Itona onto a truck and drive off, the powder keeping us from seeing them as they get farther and farther away.

“You’ll come after him, won’t you? Being his teacher and all.” More powder bombs are dropped to keep where they are driving too hidden from our sights. We all emerge from the sidelines, everyone coughing.

“Is everyone all right?” Everyone gasps at Korosensei’s appearance, he can’t regenerate since there is still power in the air continuously breaking down layers of his skin.

“More or less…” Kayano answers, breathless from coughing so much.

“Then I’ll go rescue Itona!” Even now, Korosensei is barely fazed, his determination to protect his students overshadow his fears and doubts. He’s so very strong, I wish…

“Protecting us reduced his evasion response time.” Astute observation there, Karma.

“Damn that Shiro! He made us his pawns, all right!” You’re right, Terasaka, he did indeed.

God damn it, Korosensei’s gone so he can’t give me something to help with this headache.

\--------------------

I watch from the shadows as my classmates' plan unfolds perfectly, some take out the shooters in the trees and four others are down on the ground ready to catch their bodies.

“You sure you want to be looking this way, Shiro?” We all stand on the ground watching as Korosensei takes apart the lights on the truck behind Shiro. “If you stop shooting, the netting’ll come right off at the base.”

Now that Korosensei is safe, everyone focused on Itona still trapped in the net, which seems to be made out of anti-sensei material and is, therefore, melting Itona’s tentacles. My eyes avert from Itona and make their way to Shiro, Korosensei seems to be talking with him so he’s distracted. I smirk a little, I’ve felt completely helpless during this entire thing, even if I’ll forever be weak and useless, a dead weight, I still want to mess around with the enemy of the day in one of the only ways I can. I can still utilize whatever part of me is useful and feed it until it’s useful enough for others to realize its use, then I can become a very useful tool.

I sneak my way into the trees, sticking to the shadows, and make my way closer to Korosensei and Shiro.

“How infinitely irritating. But I will allow that my plan needs some radical revisions. Keep the boy. He’ll only live another two, three days as it is. Play nice together, now.” As Shiro finishes up his parting speech, I let loose a small and calm piece of my Bloodlust.

I let it take all of my feelings of frustration and helplessness, my anger and annoyance, all of my overwhelming negative feelings towards Shiro and everything he’s done. I let it slowly slither over to Shiro, giving a warning hiss as it latches onto his ankle. It digs its fangs in and feeds Shiro all of my emotions it carried. It poisons Shiro’s mind full of paranoia and fear that’ll stay with him for two to three days, the perfect Karma.

He barely flinches, turning the slightest bit towards me and trying to find me in the woods, I stay hidden, keeping my presence masked like I did in the cops and robbers. Guess all the training  _ will  _ pay off. Shiro then stiffly continues his trek, I smile maniacally as I see the poison's effect settle in Shiro’s mind.

I walk quietly out of the woods and gently tap Korosensei on the back, he flinches away and whips around, letting out a big breath when he sees that it’s me. I give Korosensei a small strained smile and continue forward to stand by Kayano and Karma. I feel amused by the expression on Karma’s face, it seems he’s realized what just happened. I stand next to Karma, an innocent and oblivious expression on my face. I feel excitement buzz inside my stomach as I, myself, finally realize what I just did.

I snuck up on Korosensei.

\-----------------

Korosensei has gotten pills to help my headache and a cold rag to put around my neck. I've started heating up a lot while we watched Terasaka and his group tries to cheer Itona up, it seems like the headache got much worse and now I’m feeling a lot worse. I’m feeling very tired and I’m barely aware, my eyes sometimes unable to focus on anything and my eyelids are very heavy. Isogai quickly caught on that I was unwell and offered a piggyback ride, I felt like I was about to faint right then so I couldn’t give the offer up.

Isogai walked closer with the rest of the class to go and make sure Terasaka was alright after Itona acted up and attacked him. Terasaka, although he’s not the brightest bulb of the bunch, he’s still compassionate enough to know how to help Itona let go of his insatiable need to win. And Korosensei was more than happy to help remove the tentacles and have Itona finally be a student of class 3-E.

I was glad that Itona got such a happy ending, he’s got friends and he’s no longer being manipulated by Shiro- the white bastard- and is now free to be Itona Horibe, whoever that is.

I, on the other hand, didn’t get such a happy ending from all of the events of today. While staking out the thief and, in turn, getting Itona and taking Shiro down, I had missed the curfew Hiromi had put up by almost two hours.

Because I missed curfew I had gotten a good beating, thankfully nothing sharp was used but, unfortunately, she did agitate my ribs, which were still a bit sore and sensitive from Takaoka’s fight. And while I went to shower and clean off the dirt accumulated from the day and also get the blood off my face, she forbade any use of hot water, threatening to turn off the hot water every time I went to shower or bathe for the rest of the week.

I missed the regular check-ups by Shu and Ritsu, Ritsu was very close to calling Karasuma-sensei and informing him of the dangers inside my house- namely Hiromi. Shu was very close to calling the police, he then lectured me about worrying him and then started to demand I tell him what is hurting, and if she used weapons or not.

I’m glad I have these two here for me, I don’t doubt the stress and guilt of keeping such a secret from all my friends would have fogged my thinking and messed with my mentality. I would have probably done something  _ very drastic _ by now. Hell, I’ve already thought about going through with this  _ very drastic _ thing. I had taught myself the necessary skill of lockpicking and would use this very specific skill at the main campus building, for a very specific door that leads to a place fenced in because of how much it’s been  _ used _ \- and not used for good.

A barren roof is never used for anything good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a rant so if you don't want to read this then don't, no one is making you read this if this is boring to you.
> 
> Now everyone knows that most schools are having a hard time to pick themselves up and make a plan surrounding COVID, I don't really blame them- especially not the teachers, they have their own lives and family to worry about- but it's getting close to the first day of school and I, someone who is not going to school and is instead going to do online schooling because of my mother and grandfather who have chronic illnesses... yada yada yada, still don't have my schedule. Only recently did they send out an email to inform parents that two orientation Zoom will be planned but never gave the time or Zoom code. If I don't start updating, then know that we were forced to rush out to get certain books, or something like that, very last minute because of bad planning.
> 
> Sorry for the rant and enjoy the rest of your day, night, afternoon, or evening.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Online school started and it was a bit stressful at first. I've gotten more used to it so now I'm working more on writing.  
> There is also winterizing a lot.
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry, I'll try to upload more but for now, uploads are going to be unstable and so on. I am trying to keep writing even after I've finished a chapter so my creative juices are still flowing. Hopefully, I'll be ahead of my updating schedule so I can get a chapter out every week.

I finished getting ready with a smile on my face, I just had a good feeling. I felt happy and free like I was floating, my heart was racing and my face was slightly flushed since I rushed to put on my clothing. My face was starting to hurt from smiling so much, I just couldn’t stop, I was excited to see what was making me so happy. I let out a little giggle before breaking out coughing, that reminded me that I need to practice using my voice more, I’ve been neglecting that.

Making my way to the kitchen in hopes of getting a small snack before I make my way to school, I stop dead in my tracks and press myself against the wall. I crouch down and clutch my heart, this intense thumping wasn’t of happiness, I was scared. Just hearing _his_ voice made all my alarms start blaring. Why is _he_ back? The kind of fight he had with Hiromi should have given me at least another month or two without _him_ . The sound of Hiromi talking happily with _him_ made me scowl. Right, why would _he_ actually ever get hurt by any fight he has with Hiromi, she’s the only one in love.

I calm myself down and get into character, I let the shaking stop before getting back up and trying to calm my heart. One deep breath in and I headed for the door, acting surprised that _he_ was there.

“Oh, Nagisa! Takeshi’s back, aren’t you happy?” Hiromi said, her happy tone sent shivers down my back, I squeezed my hand into a fist to stop the emotions from showing on my face. I faintly feel some blood start to fill under my nails from the new puncture wounds. I give an excited nod with an overjoyed smile, trying to replicate the smile from before.

“Hello there, it’s been a while, huh? How have you been, doing alright?” Takeshi Ichikawa, Hiromi’s new boyfriend after Dad left and a predator to young children everywhere. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got some other single mothers wrapped around his finger, he’s smart and knows how to manipulate both stressed mothers who have to take care of a toddler and keep their open life together as well as young, innocent children who will believe every word of the ‘nice man that mommy trusts.’ He’s a natural, and not in a good way.

I give him a nice smile and he goes in for a hug. I want to run away, to push him away to do anything to stop the contact but with Hiromi right there, I play along and hug him back. As one of his hands wanders down to the small of my back, I tighten my closed fist and my nails dig deeper into my palm. The pain keeps me from snapping his neck or gouging his eyes out, it helps keep all my Bloodlust under control and control my instinct to get away. As he starts releasing his hold on me, his lowest hand barely flickers past the point of a friendly hug. I know he did it on purpose, like he wanted to remind me of the power he held over me and what he can and _will_ do to me.

Once that was done with Ichiwaka went to sit down on the couch with Hiromi to relax and cuddle, acting like the perfect boyfriend for Hiromi. I can feel my anger and Bloodlust start to creep back up, slithering its way back to the surface to lash out at Ichikawa, to strangle him and to make him hurt. I quickly turned away and headed for the door, my appetite was lost and I could honestly care less, even if I was starving I wouldn’t stay a second more in the same area as him. In my rush to get out, I still remembered to grab some tissues for my bleeding hand.

* * *

Once I got to the station and met up with Shu, guilt started to build at the bottom of my stomach, weighing me down like a bunch of rocks. I stared at the ground while contemplating if I should tell him or not, my eyes flickering up to look at Shu before going back to the ground. It seemed like I was starting to annoy Shu because he grabbed one of my hands and forced my head to look at him.

“Nagisa, what’s wrong? Why’re you acting so-” He cut himself off, lifting my hand and opening up my fist. My lame attempt at stopping the bleeding seemed to be ineffective because my blood soaked through the rolled-up tissues. “Nagisa, why are you bleeding? What happened? Were you cut? What did this, no, Who did this?!” Shu gradually started to freak out and I had to calm him down by shushing him.

“I’m f-fine. I did this, -my nails.” My voice was weak and it felt like I was trying to swallow a bunch of sandpaper. Shu started to calm down but that didn’t stop him from berating me for doing this. He, for some reason, had some bandaids in his bag and had used two long ones to cover up the four crescent wounds on my hand.

The rest of the train ride was spent hugging and talking about anything that came to mind. Even though I was in the comfort of someone I considered family, I still felt the guilt of not telling Shu about my situation with _him_. Would Shu think I’m disgusting? Would he hate me because I’ve been used? Would I lose another person who I love dearly with all my heart? I hated that I still had any hesitation to go talk to Shu about anything, he has been there for me through everything since we met, he’s been by my side, coming to my need without complaint. I subconsciously squeeze Shu tighter, trying to get more comfort out of him. I hid my face into his shoulder and balled up my hands, a slight sting where my nails were trying to dig through the bandaids to get to the skin.

Shu seems to have realized that something was bothering me and yet, without a second thought, he just squeezed back and gave me a small kiss on the top of my head. Tears started to gather at the corner of my eye. Shu trusted me to tell him what was bothering me, and even if I didn’t, he still tried to comfort me without even knowing why I was sad. I sniffled a little and blinked the tears away, Shu is so brave, so strong. I wish I could be half as brave and strong as him, and yet, I’m so weak. I can’t fight back and I’m so emotional, even in the assassination classroom I was weak, I can’t hurt someone without the aid of a weapon and I can break with a simple wind gust. I’m not even smart!

“We’re almost here, Nagi. When we get off, do you want to walk a little slower so you can calm down?” I nod into his shoulder, I slowly drop my arms, one traveling down Shu’s arm to grab his hand. I moved away from Shu and stood by his side, my head resting on his shoulder. When the train stopped we started moving, we both made our way out of the station and down the path to their school buildings. Like Shu said, we both walked slower, I disliked being panicked in school because of the threats that I can encounter, either from an external source or my own classmates. Shu knew this too and tried to help me calm down by sticking close to me and using his thumb rub the back of my hand.

The warmth from being with Shu slowly drowned out the feeling of _his_ touch but, even with the momentary release of his phantom touches, I knew they would come back the second I saw him. Like worms crawling in my skin, digging deeper and wiggling around, sometimes it’s like maggots burrowing into my skin, like ants trying to grab pieces of my flesh, like spiders slowly enveloping me in their webs. He was horrible, his touches were insufferable, and yet, I managed to keep my cool. Because no matter how horrible he is, fear will always overpower disgust easily, and with the amount of fear I have for Hiromi, I doubt I’ll ever get rid of the maggots, worms, of the ants, and spiders. It seems like I’ve started scowling, I release a deep sigh and let my muscles relax before going neutral again.

Thinking about Ichikawa made me remember my guilt from before and it all came back, I bit my lips and started to bite off some skin, I flinched when it hurt. I licked my lips and gave a small sigh when I tasted a good amount of blood.

“Nagisa, why’s your lip bleeding?” Shu asked, his hand squeezed mine.

“Bit it,” I answered stiffly.

“Ok, I’m sorry for asking you so much but whatever happened is really bothering you, and I’m getting worried… Nagisa, you’re okay, right? You’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine, she didn’t hurt me. I’m just-” I cough a bit and let go of his hand to continue in sign. ‘I’m just thinking about something, that’s all.’

“Would you like to tell me what you’re thinking about so hard?” All of a sudden my heart felt like it was crushed and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I quickly brought my hands to my mouth to muffle the sobs as I crouched down onto my knees, my legs losing all their strength as I let the dams break. Shu follows me down and brings my head to his chest, holding me tightly, he rocked us gently and rubbed my back. One of my hands left my mouth to grab onto Shu’s shirt, I was gasping for air through my sobs and my entire body was shaking.

“He… He’s back” After I managed to push that out I gulped in some more air and started breathing rapidly, I wasn’t hyperventilating, that I know, I was just panicked. I told him, not all of it, but now that that’s out, there’s no going back. I tried to calm myself down enough to talk while Shu was thinking about what I said, watching his facial expressions was interesting and somewhat got my mind away from the crushing feeling of guilt that started the whole break down.

“W-who? Who is he? What did he do to make you cry like this?” Shu said quietly, he seemed to be waiting patiently for me to be able to answer, occupying himself with whipping the tears off my face.

“He’s Hiromi’s-” I take a second to gasp in some air, “boyfriend, but he doesn’t love her. He’s a p-... pedophile.” Saying this to someone was like admitting what I always knew, but more than that, it was admitting that I was used, that I’ve been preyed on, that I was a target, a victim. I hated it, I sneered at my self-realization and a flash of red hot anger flickered into my thoughts, the fantasies of finally ridding myself of Ichikawa were gory and gruesome, but I felt some satisfaction by acknowledging that these were things I wanted to do to him. I was itching to hold a knife, to shoot a gun, to expel the dangerous thoughts.

“Pedophile… Did he- um, has he… you’ve… pedophile.” Shu was still trying to process what I just said, or was he trying to be careful and thinking how to ask if I’ve been raped? Maybe both. I simply nod as Shu stares at me, trying to form words but always cutting himself short.

“So… No... No, I need to ask, are you ok?” Shu finally snapped out of his stupor and asked me, his expression showing that he’s very serious and _very_ angry.

“I’m fine. Happened when I was younger, I’ve been conditioned, and now blackmailed.” I say quickly, my nerves getting the better part of me and making it hard for me to focus on saying anything, my heart hammering against my ribs. With my nerves came doubts, would he still want me? Would we still be friends? Is he going to push me away? To call me a slut, a whore, or another colorful word? Is he-

“So he’s touched you before?”

“Yes”

“Is he still now?”

“Yes.”

“Has he done anything more than _touching_?”

“Yes, early on, and even now. Not often though, Hiromi’s clingy and he wouldn’t risk getting caught. I’m the perfect victim, easily blackmailed and I’ve been conditioned perfectly to him.”

“You said that he’s ‘back’, does he leave? If so, why?”

“Hiromi yells a lot, argues very easily, they argue a lot. _He_ leaves for months at a time, comes back, plays with me and toys with Hiromi, they fight, he leaves. Rinse and repeat.” I said, my body slack and my face revealing no emotions. I’ve cut myself off from all of my feelings, if I’m being thrown away again, then my heart won’t be present to take the pain. Shu seems to be thinking, I’ve answered his questions, what else could he be thinking of?

“How long do you think he’ll stay?” Oh, he actually had more questions.

“Maybe two to four months, Why?”

“If you really want, I can try and keep you from going home for as long as I can? Maybe even have sleepovers if you’re feeling really uncomfortable. My father might not like it but if we put the act of studying then he might let it slide easier.” I stared at him for a while, he- he still wanted to be my friend, he still wanted to be with me, we were still going to be able to talk and cuddle and be together. I stare right into his eyes, trying to find anything that’ll indicate that something is wrong, that he’s lying.

“But I’m in 3-E, he’ll hate that you’re trying to help me get back up, he’s already probably pissed off that we managed the Oikawa trip.” Not like I wanted the damn prize. It would've been a better treat if I could’ve… gotten rid of Takaoka for good, alas, woe is me, I have morally correct classmates and teachers.

“If my father is as smart as he acts, then in the short time that he was with you in the car when we first met, he should’ve figured out that you're much smarter than what your grades say. It's easy to see that you’ve got unique learning tactics that the teachers on the main campus can’t use, you’re smart and can pick things up rather easily, you just need the right teacher for that. Not only that, but you’re smart in other categories, you have a general sense of what’s the smart thing to do, you also have an amazing memory and it seems like you get fidgety after sitting down for too long, you like to move. These are all things that, if I paid attention back then, I would’ve seen too. And I know for a fact that my father was watching you very carefully, he’s paranoid that way.”

“So you think your father likes me or at least thinks I’m smart enough to be around you?”

“Yeah, it’s that and also probably that I think he thinks he knows you well enough to be able to read you, tell if you’re lying if you’re doing something wrong. Just generally get a sense of who you are. He also probably already knows that we hang out sometimes after school, so he doesn’t have a reason not to allow you to sleep over, besides if he’s mad at me but you already know, we already hang out a lot and he hasn't stopped us yet.”

‘Shu, I… I really can’t thank you enough. You’ve done so much for me, if you need anything then please, don’t hesitate to ask me, alright? We have to have each other’s backs.’ I signed, I couldn’t talk anymore and I didn’t want to, the subtle metallic taste of blood at the back of my throat was telling me to stop.

“Yeah, and it applies to you too, right? Never hesitate to tell me anything.”

We slowly got up and happily made our way to school, rushing a little since we took so long. Not like we’re late, we get to school very early since it takes a long time to get to school and I, personally, enjoy being there around 30 minutes before.

* * *

Rio was very mad at me, at our first break she wouldn’t let go of me and keep telling me how worried she was and how sad she was when I wasn’t there. So now I have become her teddy bear, and everyone was laughing at my misery. 

But, the happiness I felt by being surrounded by my friends quickly left when I saw that Kayano was staring off into the distance, right at Korosensei. I watched her expressions but I couldn’t decipher them, they were minute and so many at the same time. While everyone else was happily talking amongst each other, but I let their chatter become just mindless sound, my focus was on Kayano.

I started to squint, trying to see anything in her face that’ll tell me what she’s feeling. I started to get really frustrated and a small growl was starting to grow in my throat, but I swallowed it when she turned to look right at me.

Our expressions revealed nothing, we stared at each other and it took me a second to realize she was releasing some bloodlust. It was creeping from the grass and gripping at my legs, slowly growing higher, reaching my chest before I released my own.

My Bloodlust wasn’t slow like hers, it struck out, jumping right to her stomach and quickly slithering around her neck, the threat of poised fangs seemed to make her flinch. Her own bloodlust wilted off of me, and I let go of my hold on her, she was surprised that I would fight back like that. Kayano stared at me for a bit with widened eyes before stomping off, mumbling to herself.

I let out a sigh, I shouldn’t have fought back, now she knows that I know how to use my Bloodlust, she'll be wary of me and I’ll never catch her slipping up anymore. I should warn Korosensei, it seems like she wants something to do with him, whatever it is.

I turn to Rio and tickle her, her arms let me go and I start to walk towards Korosensei, giving a quick bow to my friends as if saying ‘sorry for leaving’. I walk rather quickly, rushing to Korosensei so I have time to talk with him. When I get to him I gently poke his tentacle, getting his attention from his conversation with Karasuma-sensei.

Karasuma-sensei gives me a confused look and Korosensei nods to me, now I’m a little nervous, what if she was planning another assassination? Then I’m doing all of this for nothing since she’s doing exactly what we’ve all been told to do but, I have a gut feeling that that’s not all. And, at this point, I’ve learned that my gut feelings should never be ignored, I must trust myself.

‘I have some concerns about Kayano that I think I should share. I don’t mind if Karasuma-sensei is here too but I hope that you can consider my suspicions.’ I sign as professionally as I can. I felt bad because it seemed like I was trying to throw Kayano under the bus but I was too far gone by now.

“What do you mean?” Korosensei said simply, tilting his head a little.

“Maybe she’s just planning an assassination?” Karasuma-sensei said, looking at me weirdly.

‘No, you don’t understand, it isn’t like that. She has more motivation than anyone else, like she has a vendetta of sorts, like she has more reason to kill Korosensei than just for money.’ I was rushing through my signs, they needed to understand.

“Nagisa, maybe she’s got a really good plan this time-” Korosensei said, his smile growing bigger.

‘NO! No, no you don’t- that’s not….’ My heart was hammering, I could hear the blood rushing around, they’re not believing me, why, I knew this was a bad idea-

“Nagisa, are you ok?” Karasuma-sensei said, coming closer to put his hand on my shoulder. My eyes flashed to his hand, bad memories came up and my panic couldn't take it. I grabbed his wrist and shifted closer, I swiped my leg under his and landed in a crouch, dragging his arm down with me and making him fall to the ground. I bounced back and stared at what I did, I started shaking and my hands came to my mouth.

“Nagisa?” Korosensei said, reaching his tentacle out slowly, moving gently towards me. I stared at him and shook my head.

‘You don’t understand. She’s not who you think she is… I knew this was a bad idea. Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, sorry. Oh god, I’m sorry.’ I watched as Karasuma-sensei got back up, looking surprised and curious. He looked at me and started walking towards me, calling my name out tentatively. Korosensei stopped him with a shake of the head and instead he made his way to me. He stood in front of me and sat down, patting a spot next to him.

I slowly crawled to the spot, watching everything he does with a careful eye, my gaze shifting from Korosensei to the back of the leaving Karasuma-sensei.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you, would you like to tell me what you think about Kayano now?” Korosensei said calmly.

‘She’s not Kayano.’

“What do you mean?”

‘Kayano was different, she was lying.’

“Oh, so you think she’s acting differently? Maybe she is just now getting comfortable and wants to show you who she really is?”

‘No, she attacked me.’

“Attacked? When?” He said, looking worried.

‘Just now, with her bloodlust, I saw her looking at you with some expression I couldn’t put together. She realized I was looking at her and her bloodlust attacked me, she was going to freeze me in fear.’

“Ah, so, do you have an idea as to why she’s like this?”

‘No, but I know it has something to do with you. You’re an experiment, you escaped, you most likely didn’t leave everyone unharmed. She has family and friends outside of us, lord knows if you’ve hurt someone she knows or cares about.’ My eyes watch his body language, any flinching or twitching, any color changes, anything that’ll indicate I’m right.

“So you are assuming I killed to get out?”

‘I’m not assuming anything. I know it. You were human before, but no human, no matter what experiments were done to them, would be able to kill another or withstand being attacked constantly. You’re either inhumanely capable of adapting, an actual alien, or you were used to killing and assassination attempts on your life before you changed.’

“Hmm, you’re very smart, aren’t you? But that doesn’t mean anything, she could just simply hate me.” Why is he trying to deny this so much, what’s so impossible about it that he’ll keep trying to stop my theories?

‘Doubtful. Even if I hated you enough to try and kill you, the thought that you used to be human will put a damper on that. Or, she would try and kill you more often. Anger and hate are not emotions that bring about patience.’

“So you’re telling me to be wary of her?”

‘No, act as natural as possible, just be careful. You’re smart and can pick things up better than I can, watch her expressions carefully.’ If he won’t listen to me then I’ll at least warn him, it’s the most I can do since I don’t know if she’s actually capable of killing Korosensei.

“Wow, you almost sound like an actual assassin!”

‘Seems Lovro-sensei has had an effect on my speech. He did teach me respect between assassins since it could get me killed.’

“Lovro?”

‘It’s nothing you need to worry about, if anything, I’m surprised you don’t know yet, Mister Mach 20.’ I joke a bit, hoping to get rid of this serious air that’s tangled around the both of us.

“Well, I’m hoping you’re feeling better now?”

‘Yes, I am, thank you for that. I would like to go and apologize to Karasuma-sensei now, if you wouldn't mind.’ I signed, getting up.

“It’s not a problem. He’s not mad, you know, just surprised, maybe curious as to how you managed to get him down.” Korosensei said, getting up as well and patting my head gently.

‘Thanks, Korosensei.’

I hesitate, I want to do it because I see Korosensei has my family of sorts, he’s accepted me and seen my true potential. He’s more family than my real family ever will be, and I want that love, I want to feel like I have a family. I stare at Korosensei for a bit longer, he looks back at me with a confused tilt of the head.

“Nagisa? Are you-” I rush at him, he flinches back and seems on edge. I throw caution to the wind and reach for him, wrapping my arms around him and digging my face into his chest- does he have a chest? I shrug it off, questions are for later. I felt Korosensei freeze, his entire body stiffening.

I started to worry, maybe he doesn’t like hugs? Maybe I did something wrong? Did I not hug him right? Maybe we aren’t as friendly as I thought we were, I knew I was wrong, I should have just gone to Karasuma-sensei and apologized and not make this mistake-

My thoughts stopped when I heard an amused laugh coming from Korosensei, his body had loosened when I was stuck in my thoughts and he was wrapping his tentacles around me. He curled his body inwardly a little as if trying to cover my body with his own, it felt like he was protecting me, like nothing could hurt me in his grasp. Tears stung my eyes, and I gave a quiet, raspy laugh, squeezing tighter and basking in this newfound friendship.

“We’re still going to have a talk about Lovro.”

Oh shit.

* * *

We had a practice test on English, I should’ve been nervous about it but I was already done. Right now, I was too nervous to bring it up first so I was just doodling on my papers. My mind was elsewhere completely, I was replaying the memory of when I went to apologize more properly to Karasuma-sensei. I fiddled nervously thinking about why he would ask me to stay behind, maybe Korosensei was wrong and Karasuma-sensei was actually really mad.

I stop my thoughts and doodles to watch Rio go up to bring her practice test, Karma rushing up and past her, challenging her to a small race to bring their papers up first. I’ll wait for one other person before I bring my own up, so I resumed my doodling, finally realizing what I had been doodling unconsciously this whole time.

At the back of the final paper, which was blank, I had drawn an empty classroom desk and chair, with slurs that I had become familiar with, a small white pot with a small white flower on the desk. There were a bunch of eyes surrounding it, watching the empty desk. With a contemplative hum, I start to make a ceiling above all the eyes, and draw a little hook above the desk. I give a sad smile as I start making a line from the hook down to the desk, making a loop at the end, and drawing the knot above the loop. I looked at the picture that I found was familiar in a chilling way, I took in the drawing before scribbling over it, making sure nothing can be seen under the now completely colored over picture.

I couldn’t just hand in this paper with that kind of picture on the back, they’re already worried about me and question almost everything that happens. Erasing would still leave lines where I drew things so they- possibly, mainly, Korosensei- could probably see the lines and understand what the picture was, so blacking it out was better, the thick black pencil marks that cover and cross over the previous lines will make my drawing indecipherable to even a superspecies like Korosensei, probably.

I looked around and realized that I wasn’t paying attention to who brought their practice tests up, so I just went ahead and brought it up. I Gently placed it on the top of the small pile, gave a smile to Bitch-sensei who was reading a book while waiting for us to finish, and quietly walked back to my seat.

School was about to finish and I was not excited about the talk I’m about to have with Karasuma-sensei.

* * *

The bell rang and my nerves jumped, I quickly collected everything and rushed to Karasuma-sensei, who was waiting at the classroom doors. I walked over with my head down and he led us to the teachers' room, sitting down and gesturing to a seat across from his. I take the seat and wait patiently for him to speak, I hear the gentle tapping of the keyboard as Karasuma-sensei types away. The heavy silence seems to weigh down on my shoulders, making me curl my body into a tight ball, hugging my bag that was crushed in the middle.

“There’s no need to be so stiff, you’re not in trouble or anything,” Karasuma-sensei said without looking away from his computer.

Now I’m even more worried, why am I here? The door to the room opens and Bitch-sensei and Korosensei both walk in, Bitch-sensei going to her own seat while Korosensei stood next to Karasuma-sensei. Now that everyone was situated, I felt the seriousness roll off of them, their faces expressionless besides a little anger or worry here and there.

Karasuma-sensei stopped typing and let out a heavy sigh, finally filling the silence that was slowly settling like dust. He got up and grabbed what looked like some papers in a folder and a stamp that showed that it was from the Ministry of Defense, it looked very professional and scary. He skimmed through it as he slowly made his way to me, why was he coming to me?

Is that on me? Had they finally found out about Hiromi and now want nothing to do with me? Or maybe it was Ichikawa, and they’re disgusted and never want me near them again?

I quickly stopped my thoughts before they got too out of hand and instead focused on the problem at hand, what the hell was that file?

“The Ministry of Defense has given me some bad news that I believed should be shared with you, as it does concern you,” Karasuma-sensei said carefully, his eyes never leaving my own, locking me into his gaze.

“I think Nagisa would prefer to read the report, it’s probably less stressful for him to get all the information instead of a blunt summary,” Korosensei said, quietly making his way around the chair I was in and standing behind me, his tentacles on my shoulders.

I was handed the scary-looking folder, immediately seeing that this document- or report, apparently- was confidential. It suddenly felt heavy, like I was holding a huge boulder. I gave Karasuma-sensei a glance, and he simply nodded at the folder, his expression not changing.

I slowly opened it to the first page, skimming through it. It was a quick explanation of how they had handled the ‘Traitor’, probably Takaoka since he’s the only traitor of the M.o.D that I met. Flipping onto the next page, it explained his punishment, I quickly skipped that one, I’d prefer not to know how strict the M.o.D. is. The third page was a report on how he was doing in confinement, and the fourth page was his mental status. The fifth, and second the last page, explained how Takaoka seemed hell-bent on finding a ‘Little Snake’, I shivered knowing exactly who that was, and I knew everyone in this room did too.

I flipped to the sixth and last page, reading the top that had explained what the page was about in all the previous pages. My eyes widened and I dropped the folder, backing away from it like it was dangerous, my hands came up to my mouth as tears gathered in my eyes. I let out a rough sob and crouched down, the sentence I just read echoing over and over in my mind, the situation finally settling. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking in gasps of air that slowly quickened into hyperventilation. Over my panic, I heard Karasuma-sensei’s voice loud and clear.

“Takaoka has escaped, and it is believed he’s trying to find his ‘Little Snake’.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware, this chapter and the next will explore much more mature topics, mainly sexual assault, and rape. I hope you all know your limits, if you aren't comfortable with this topic, then please stop reading.
> 
> YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

After that, I was told that I would have two bodyguards on me whenever I left my house and that they would be staking out my house. Although I was a little apprehensive at that I understood why, I was fine being followed since I could have a little fun trying to ditch them.

Korosensei also said that I would stick by him whenever they were training in case Takaoka came to find me at school. I wasn’t too happy about that since I worried about Takaoka hurting my classmates but I understood why they were doing what they were doing.

As I walked down the mountain with two rather large men, my bodyguards that Korosensei insisted that I get to know. I was worried about the fact that the bodyguards are going to stay around my house since what happens inside isn’t exactly normal, it’s completely illegal. I wanted to ask these guys if they would monitor  _ inside _ the house instead of only around it but, because of my vocal limitations, I hesitated in fear that they didn’t know sign language.

As we made it to the bottom, I stopped in my tracks- the bodyguards expertly stopping with me- and there stood a very confused and worried Asano. I started to make my way to him quickly, hoping that the bodyguards wouldn’t follow too closely, so I started to quickly sign to him.

‘Please don’t worry, I know these guys, they’re friends- kind of- but they aren’t bad.’

“Nagisa, please, I need you to tell me what’s going on. It’s not healthy to keep so many secrets.” Shu was pleading, he looked about ready to get on his knees.

‘Shu, I can’t really talk about it right now but I need your help, I don’t know if these guys know sign language, can you ask them, please?’

“Ah, sure, sure. But you better promise to tell me everything when you can, ok?” I nod, eagerly gesturing towards the two bodyguards,” Nagisa here has asked me to translate a question he has for you two, can you understand sign language?” Shu asked, in a very professional tone.

“Yes, Karasuma made sure to pick people that understood Nagisa’s way of speaking so there wouldn’t be any miscommunication.” The smaller guard said, keeping the professional tone of the conversation.

‘Then, I would like to ask about something I’m concerned with, is that alright?’

“Go ahead, we’ve been given orders to respect any boundaries you put up unless they interfere with our ability to watch and protect you.” The bigger guard said, his voice taking on a softer edge.

“Orders… Watch, protect… Nagi?” I slowly grabbed Shu's hand, giving it a tight squeeze in what I hope was reassurance. 

‘I only wish for you to not watch inside my household, I don’t mind you being around but I really would prefer to not have to worry about you guys looking in my windows when I’m changing or something.’ Talking about removing my clothes immediately reminded me that Ichikawa was back, and I doubt he’s going to leave again without having his fill. I unconsciously squeeze Shu’s hand even harder, not quite suppressing the shiver at the thought.

“That’s fine, we weren’t going to be watching you in your house, but we understand your concern about the matter. If you really wish, I can show you where the guards will be positioned around your house?”

‘That’d be amazing, thank you so much!’ I gave both of them a small smile, dipping quickly into a shallow bow before making my way to the train station, hand in hand with Shu, who was trying to calm himself by sticking as close to me as possible.

The bodyguards following along silently.

\------------------

On the train, Shu managed to get two seats, so we sat side by side hugging and holding hands in silent appreciation of each other's presence. I can never love Shu enough, just looking at him reminds me of how lucky I am to be born at the same time as he was.

I brought our interlaced hands up to my mouth and gave Shu’s hand a quick kiss, cuddling into his side more as I dropped our hands back into my lap. Shu responded with a kiss to the top of my head, his head leaning into my own.

“Hey, Nagisa?”

‘Yes? Is everything alright?’ He lifted his head off my own and sighed.

“I’ve got some bad news.” I raised my head off his shoulder and looked at him quizzically, worry clouding my eyes.

‘Oh, what is it, are you hurt? Is something wrong? Was it your father?’

“No, well, yes, let me just explain. I asked my father if you could spend the night, you know why,” Shu said this while eyeing the bodyguards suspiciously, “but, unfortunately, my father told me that for the rest of the week that you wouldn’t be able to come since the house is being used for business meetings and such.”

‘Oh? I thought your father was just a principle, why the business meeting?’

“He is, but our house is big and since Kunugigaoka high is more high end with rich kids and parents, he hosts a party for the business parents that fund the school, not like it needs the money. Anyway, this week there are two separate parties and one day beforehand to prepare.”

‘Why two different parties?’

“Because they will appeal to two different kinds of people. There will be different food and different room stylization as well as a different dress code. The second party also allows the donors to bring their children to give them a taste of a business party, especially if they have a bigger company and want their children to be their successor. The first party is for adults only and for more high-end donors, my father's personal business friends are invited as well since that party is more for business people to mingle and potentially strike a deal.”

‘Ah, one's the real thing and the second is a real fake to make everyone feel special, smart.’

“Yup, so unfortunately the whole week’s booked but that should be it for now. There could be the parties that my father is invited to and that I am forced to go but that is a bit of a rarity. So I should be available for any time you would need to leave.” Asano hushed his voice to a whisper as he finished. Both of us eyeing the bodyguards who were tensely watching the rest of the train’s passengers.

I gave him a nod and resumed my cuddling, Shu gave a little chuckle and I felt the vibrations in his throat as he hummed in satisfaction. I gave my own satisfied sigh, closing my eyes and lightly resting, not quite comfortable enough to actually sleep in a place filled with strangers.

\---------------------

I continued my walk to my house with the two bodyguards, the closer we got the more antsy I got. The silence was thick and slowly agitating my nerves, I hated it.

‘What are your names? I would prefer to know them than not.’

“It’s best you don’t, you’ll grow attached, it’s not like we’re friends.” The short guard said, his voice was cut and dry. The taller guard nudged him and gave a saddened sigh.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s a stick in the mud, but you must understand that telling you our names is pretty useless. We’re not your only guards, there are many others that’ll guard you as well. We’ll all take shifts so it’s better you don’t get attached.”

‘Still, it’s not like I’ll forget you, I have a great memory. Even if I don’t see you two for a whole year I’ll never be able to forget you.’

“You make it sound like a bad thing.” The shorter one said, tilting his head and glancing at me.

‘Maybe it is, maybe there are things I wish to forget but can’t. A good memory is pretty gray, neither good nor bad.’

“You’re very mature, aren’t you?” The shorter one asked, his gaze more focused on me.

‘I probably am, I prefer being independent, I don’t need to rely on anyone anymore.’

The silence came back even harder, I could see that the two guards were also affected by it this time. It became awkward, I kept fidgeting, trying to busy myself.

“I’m Ryuu,” The taller guard said, a gentle smile adorning his face. I felt a great release of pressure, letting out a relieved sigh and smiling back at him.

“Really? Weren’t you with me that telling him our names was useless?” The smaller looked incredulously at Ryuu.

“Oh calm down, if he really wants our names then why not just give them. It’s better if he trusts us than if he’s scared of two strange men who’ll follow him around all the time.” I’ll drink to that, but not really cause I’m underaged and you’re both like policemen.

“I hate that you’re right.”

“His name’s Katsuo.” I let out a giggle at that, these two have obviously been partners for a long time, maybe they trained together and so they were never separated since they work well together. I’d be cool to know how the training system for M.o.D agents work. Like, is there actually a buddy system or are these two just really lucky that they got to be together?

“Wait, wait- didn’t you just giggle?!” Katsuo said rather loudly, pointing to me accusingly. “You can talk if you can giggle!”

“That’s not how that works, Katsuo,” Ryuu said, pushing Katsuo’s outstretched arm down.

“Oh, really?”

‘I’m selectively mute.’

That awkward silence came back once again.

“Oh,” Katsuo said, stepping back and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Yeah,” Ryuu said, a tone of exasperation easily detected.

‘Anyway, we are arriving soon, make sure you fulfill your promise to show me where the guards will be stationed.’

“Right.” They both said, the professional tone slipping back into both of their voices.

Guess I’ve made friends with these two, hopefully, I get them more often, or that the other guards are just as friendly.

\--------------------

After Katsuo and Ryuu showed me the spots I made my way inside, the happy feeling of making two new friends slowly ebbed away until all I felt was nervous, so nervous I was practically nauseous.

I opened the door and was met with the sight of Ichikawa and Hiromi cuddling on the couch, watching a murder mystery. I wanted to laugh at how perfect that was. Two criminals watching a cop find other criminals out, it seemed ironic.

I walked by them without making a sound, placing my bag down and getting my homework out, only then did they realize I was inside.

“Oh dear, Nagisa, you should’ve said something, I didn’t hear you. You wouldn’t want to give your dear mother a heart attack, now would you?” Actually, I would, no blood on my hands and you're gone for good, it’s too good to be true.

‘I just got in, I didn’t want to disturb you.’

“Oh, no need, why don’t you come sit down with us, there's a detective movie on. I know how much you like those.” Hiromi said, gesturing to the TV as if to prove that she wasn’t lying about the movie.

‘I’m sorry, mother, but I’ve got some homework that I would like to go do before it gets too late.’

“That’s very responsible of you, Nagisa, making sure to finish your homework when you’ve still got the lesson in your head,” Ichikawa said, a practiced smile easily painting his face. I’ll admit it, he’s got a pretty face, one of those pretty boys you’d expect to be a player in school. He probably was, with how he acts now. But no matter how pretty, with what he’s done, all I can see him as is a monster in human skin- a wolf in sheep's clothing.

“Hiromi, dear?”

“Yes, Takeshi?”

“I’ve got an idea on how to celebrate our renewed love.”

“Oh? And what is it, dear?”

“How about we got out on a date today, a beautiful dinner. And then, tomorrow I’ll take Nagisa on a date too, since I’m sure Nagi has missed me plenty.”

“Oh, some nice father and daughter bonding, that’s genius!”

“Thank you for thinking that, dear, I’ll try my best for both dates.” The two went back to cuddling and I made my way to my bedroom, not missing the predatory look Ichikawa gave me, and especially not missing how he stared at my behind as I left. The second I was out of sight I shivered, the true meaning of our ‘date’ not hidden to me. Ichikawa is always surprisingly forward when he wants to spend alone time with me, and yet, Hiromi can never figure it out. Guess it’s true, love can make you blind, but also deaf and very stupid.

I feel like it makes you a vegetable at some point, especially when you’re so messed up mentally.

\----------------

I finished my homework and am now relaxing on my bed with a nice book. I was laying on my stomach and resting the book against my pillows, I enjoyed books because they can sometimes temporarily take me away from the life I live, not that it’s boring. I have, by no means, a boring life, if anything it’s too exciting for me.

I’ve got a messed up childhood, a nemesis, a goal, and something that makes me unique. Like a horrible action movie. Except, if I were in an action movie, I’d prefer to be a villain, or maybe vigilante. I don’t have morals keeping me from finishing the job, that’s the problem with all the heroes of the stories. They‘re always surprised when their arch-nemesis escapes prison or something, I would get tired of fighting the same person after the second fight.

Maybe it’s because of my memory. If the villain doesn’t bring something new to the table then I’ll already know how to beat them, and it’ll be boring. Even then, it’s better to not risk someone who’s dangerous enough to want to continuously follow one person just to kill them, like Takaoka. He’s obviously never going to not try and get me, and if I don’t manage to get rid of him, sooner or later, he’s going to win. Because this isn’t some hero movie, in this one, I can die, and I can kill. 

I’ve lost my page now. I let out an annoyed sigh and bookmarked my page, and placed the book on the nightstand. I lay my head on the pillows and start to drift off, sleep slowly closing my mind and allowing me to escape my thoughts.

I jolt awake when I hear my door open, looking behind me I see Ichikawa closing my door behind him. I started to get up, not feeling safe in the position I fell asleep in, but his hand on my back stopped me.

He placed a box with, from what I can smell, food inside, probably brought from their date. Ichikawa started to place more pressure on my back, forcing me back down on my stomach. I didn’t dare look at him, I feel better if I don’t acknowledge him. So I simply dug my face into my pillow.

“Sucks that Hiromi’s so clingy, patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.” I felt his breath ghost over my ear. I couldn’t fight the violent shiver, my hands clench and the familiar sting of my nails digging into my wounds helped me stay calm. But as his hand slowly made it way down my back, I bit my lip to get more pain to help, a certain metallic taste telling me I broke the skin.

“Don’t bite your lip, Hiromi will get annoying.” His suave voice only made me bite harder, my eyes found their way to him with a piercing glare. I saw his green eyes glow with a badly hidden thrill, his mouth curled in a disgusting smirk.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Nagi~ You know how much I love your fighting spirit. I’m trying real hard here to behave, wouldn't want your dear mother to walk in on you slutting yourself out to her boyfriend.” His unoccupied hand made its way to my face, two of his fingers making their way into my mouth, prying it open and holding it there.

His other hand finally got to its destination, roughly grabbing my butt. He let out a hushed laugh, “So perfect, such a good boy.”

I let out a guttural growl, my teeth pressing into his fingers as a threat, his eyes lit up once again with delight. He leaned down and gave a chaste kiss to my ear, going down further to place a wet kiss to my neck, some teeth scraping at my skin. I flinched and stared at him from the corner of my eye with dread.

Even if I knew he wouldn’t dare mark me, what would happen if he did and my mother found out still scares me, he holds so much over my head that I’ve lost hope. I even told someone but neither of us can do anything, he’s got too much on me, too many threats to get at me and keep me in his lap.

“Sucks I can’t mark you, I can’t let your mother get rid of you so soon, you’re so perfect.”

He finally moved away, his fingers leaving my mouth and finally getting off my bed, leaving me with a slap on the ass and a perverted laugh.

“Can’t wait for our date, Nagi~” And with that, my door closed.

I looked to the box and sneered, looking away and whipping the saliva that was on my neck. I didn’t have an appetite anymore, I let out a shaky sigh but it got stuck in my tight throat. I swallowed heavily and my nose started to sting, tears building up and slowly blurring my vision. I tried my best to look at my clock through my tears, the big, blocky, red numbers told me that it was 8 pm. I slowly got up and grabbed my sleepwear and made my way to the bathroom, my whole body was numb, I didn’t even feel his phantom touches that forever plague me. 

I got into the bathroom and placed my nightclothes down on the counter next to the sink, I then took off my school clothes and put them down in a separate pile. Turning on the shower, I quickly washed my hair and took longer to scrub my skin red. A tiny, choked back sob finally making it past my defenses, hurting my throat as it forced its way out. I crumbled to the ground and sat there, letting the water rain down on me, covering up any tears or any sounds.

Once I calmed down, I got back up and turned off the shower, dried myself off, and quickly put on my nightwear. I peeked out of the bathroom and when I heard Ichikawa and Hiromi talking over a commercial, I cleared the hallway quietly. My eyes never leaving the two predators laughing away on the couch, I felt like a rabbit sneaking past two wolves.

Once I finally made it to the temporary safety of my room, I closed the door silently and climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers and my body barely relaxed as I slowly drifted to sleep. The exhaustion of the day and what I knew was to come made me slip out of consciousness in hopes of getting to the next day and enjoying myself at school.

A tired chuckle bubbled out of my throat as I realized how weird it was for a kid to enjoy school, guess I never really fit in, huh?

\----------------

After getting reading as fast as possible, I quietly sneaked to the front door, I could hear Hiromi in the bathroom getting ready for work. I was almost out the door when  _ someone _ grabbed my waist, my hand clenched the doorknob tightly, angry about how close I was to escaping without having to talk to this bastard.

“You’re so quiet, like a little mouse.” I felt his breath right on my ear, a shiver of disgust ran down my spine and I fought the urge to cringe away.

“It’s so early, you’ll be almost an hour early to school. Doing something like this makes it seem like you enjoy school, I thought all kids hated it.” I hated hearing his voice, but not as much as I hated seeing his face, I kept my eyes glued to the floor as he forced me around. He was practically on top of me, my gaze traveled upwards to his neck that was right in front of me, open and unprotected.

I wish he and I were alone so I could punch his throat in and watch him squirm on the floor, trying his very best to breathe in. I would enjoy his misery, I would enjoy his slow, painful death, I would enjoy watching the life leave his eyes.

“What? No goodbye kiss?” I leaned away from his puckered lips, my back against the door. He kept reaching for me. I grabbed the doorknob and the door threw open under my weight, I caught myself before I fell. I stumbled away from the entrance and watched him passively as he glared, the promise of pain on our “date” today clear in his eyes as he slammed the door shut. I let out a shaky sigh and laugh, not in the mood to care how crazy I may seem to the two bodyguards I knew were watching the interaction.

As I left down the road to the train station, I let my Bloodlust loose to find the bodyguards and see if it’s Ryuu and Kastuo. My heart raised when I felt the familiar bloodlust of my two new friends and I kept going, knowing they are probably waiting until I’m in a more populated area, such as the train station, to finally get closer.

They both slowly made their way closer and closer to me as I made my way to the station, they finally showed themselves when I met up with Shu. With the worst start to my day possible- that’s a lie- I immediately stuck to Shu and soaked in his familiar warmth, Ryuu and Kastuo seemed less surprised and weirded out at witnessing our closeness this time around.

The two bodyguards stayed a relatively good distance away, even on the train, maybe to make it seem like I wasn’t being guarded? I don’t know, but I appreciated even the slightest bit of privacy, even unintentional. I started telling Shu about what happened with Ichikawa but left out details that I knew would make him worry too much, such as the “date”. He didn’t have to worry about my health and start feeling like it was his fault because he couldn’t have me over, he had enough stress already with his father and the parties, as well as school.

\----------------

I was embarrassed when Ryuu and a reluctant Kastuo actually walked me into the classroom, everyone present turning to look at us like we were aliens or something. Oh, I guess they wouldn’t really care if an alien did actually walk in since that’s kind of what Korosensei did and he’s alien enough. Nonetheless, I was embarrassed, and even more so when they fetched me in the middle of self-study to drag me- literally, Katsuo seemed almost as equally embarrassed at having to get me, Ryuu found it very amusing- to the teachers' lounge where I once again saw all of my teachers standing around a folder with serious expressions.

The fear and shock I felt the first time I saw them like this actually made me mumble out a very quiet and fear riddled, “Oh no.”

“Wait, you just talked!?” Katsuo asked, almost like he was betrayed, he then stared at Karasuma-sensei, “He said he was selectively mute, so- Did you know he could talk?”

“I’ve never heard him talk,” Karasuma-sensei said, his expression finally breaking away from the seriousness of before with some gentle curiosity.

‘Shu, that’s what I call Asano, has been encouraging me to talk more, so I can talk, I just don’t want to.’ I signed easily, but the ease ebbed away when I saw Korosensei’s face light up in delight.

“So I was correct! You are capable of speaking, you’re just selectively mute, Irina wouldn't believe me since you have a wound on your neck.” That's right, I've never told them- Wait, how did Korosensei and Bitch-sensei know that? I have my choker on at all times, even in the water, I’ve never taken it off.

Bitch-sensei seemed to have realized what I was thinking and went off, “Don’t worry your pretty little head, Nagisa, how we know shouldn’t be of your concern-”

“They thought a lot of your behavior was weird and so they checked hospital files, the only one there was your neck and back when you were a kid when you drowned,” Karasuma-sensei said.

‘Oh? I’m hoping I’m not getting special treatment or anything?’

“Wait, how could this be special treat-” Bitch-sensei was cut off once more by Karasuma-sensei.

“No, we did check other students' medical records, but not all of them, only those with questionable behavior or scars, just like you.”

“Now, onto the task at hand, Karasuma-sensei?” Korosensei said, the stifling seriousness filled the room once more.

“Right, octopus. Nagisa, we are getting updates by the M.o.D every time they find Takaoka’s location, when they believe that they can foresee his next move, believe that he has picked up a weapon and what that weapon is, and really anything on Takaoka. We, ourselves, will give updates weekly of you, where you go and when, with who, the family members inside your household, any visitors, if you’ve gone out, where and with who… so on so forth. Your every step will be documented by your bodyguards and reported back to me to be compiled into a weekly report. Do you understand?”

‘Yes, I get the seriousness of all this, not like I’ve never been in a life or death situation before. It’s just, will the bodyguards follow me inside places? If I went to a restaurant with my mother, would I expect to find two bodyguards amongst the other customers, or will they wait outside?’

“What do you prefer?” Karasuma-sensei asked, his eyes flicking up to meet the two bodyguards before coming back to mine.

‘Privacy.’

“Understandable, they won’t follow you into places, just to them, they will then guard it like your house.”

‘That’d be best.’

“So we’ve all come to an understanding?” Karasuma-sensei said, more directed at the bodyguards but I give a nod anyway.

“I still don’t know why Nagisa can fu-” Katsuo is cut off by Ryuu, who’s as blank-faced as ever.

“We understand.” He said monotonically, dragging Katsuo out the door and whispering to him. It seemed to have riled him up more.

“We picked those two specifically because we believed you would get the most comfortable with them. They rarely act professionally, only when it’s needed, and they are  _ very _ familiar with one another. They have a family too, so we thought that their paternal instincts would help make you feel safer.” Karasuma-sensei said gently, walking to my side as we watched the two bodyguards whisper to each other.

‘It doesn’t really seem like Katsuo has those instincts.’

“No, but he’s a bit harsher in his worry than Ryuu, Katsuo is brash and loud but very loyal. Ryuu is more of the mother, being calm and always concerned.”

‘I can see that they complement each other very well, almost like they knew each other before working for the government.’ I gave Karasuma-sensei a knowing look and he just sighed, mumbling almost affectionately about how troublesome I was.

“I’m guessing you know?” Korosensei whispered, taking Karasuma-sensei’s place by my side.

‘Yep, I could feel it, their love for one another, it was warming. It’s what made me approach them, because their relationship made me realize that they were human too, so I’ll try my best not to attract Takaoka to me because I wouldn’t want them to be hurt.’ I smile warmly at the two whisper-yelling in the hallway, Katsuo freaking out while Ryuu tries to calm him down with a nervous smile.

“That’s very admirable of you, Nagisa. I think, if their child knew, they would be grateful to you for trying to keep them out of trouble.” He put a tentacle on my shoulder, patting it gently, almost fatherly.

‘So it’s their child together?’ 

“Surrogate child, Ryuu has a sister.” I nod my head in understanding, I was happy for them, that they could have a child. I knew those two were awesome parents, I could just feel it.

Ryuu came back with an apologetic smile, “Alright, I’ve finally calmed Katsuo, but I don’t think it’ll last long.” I tilted my head at Ryuu and he gave a nervous chuckle.

“I’ve told them to escort you from and to class, they will be with you when you’re going to gym, when you’re leaving, even going to the bathroom. This building isn’t fit to withstand an attempt on a student's life, Takaoka could get in anywhere, so the bodyguards must be with you at all times.” Karasuma-sensei said, giving Ryuu a copy of what looked like our class’s schedule.

“Oh goddammit!”

“Kastuo, shut it! It’s not that bad.” Ryuu said, sounding exasperated.

“Why do we have to babysit him in school, you can do that, the octopus would be better at dealing with Takaoka than us.”

‘Don’t sell yourself short, I can tell from the way you were on the train as well as on my way  _ to _ the train station, you know what you guys are doing. I trust the both of you with my life, and I’m not doing it because I’m naive or because I trust everything my teachers say, I’ve seen more than once how human they all are- even Korosensei. I trust you because I know you wouldn’t leave me to die, you’ll try your best, even if it isn’t enough, it’ll be enough for me.’ Katsuo and Ryuu stared at me with emotions I couldn’t decipher but I gave them a gentle smile anyway, hoping that none of the emotions were bad.

“Guess I’ll be babysitting you for a while, Nagisa.” Katsuo said, letting out a sigh and dramatically saying, “Oh woe is me.”

‘Karasuma-sensei, I think you picked the best ones.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm trying my best but it's very hard with school and all. I will not drop this book but any sense of an update schedule will be forgotten. I'm trying to focus on my work and this but then there is my social life interacting with people safely and my own relaxation time. It takes a lot to think of what to write but I'm very creative and will probably never have writer's block, so no worries there. Any chance I get to write I will.
> 
> Anyway, to take my mind off the stress of real life, I would love to hear what you guys think so far? Is there anything I could do to improve the story, my writing, tips and pointers for certain things, anything, really.


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